How are you coping with....everything?

I have been really heads-down working on my manuscript, which is why I haven’t written anything here in the past month. But friends………..things are not looking good out there. Every day brings a new horrible video of ICE tearing a family apart, or a fresh assault on some foundational aspect of democracy, or new evidence of egregious corruption that no one will be held accountable for. Meanwhile, the mass shooting that happened yesterday was in my hometown, which feels terrible. And this is all going on at the same time as some of the dumbest, most unhelpful shit imaginable.

It’s taking a lot of effort to stay disciplined and not totally spin out, but here’s what’s been working for me lately in terms of coping mechanisms…

• Continuing to organize around affordable housing and street safety. It’s helping me stay optimistic and it’s been especially nice to see some small wins in this realm!

• Participating in an in-person book club through NYC DSA.

• Working on my book! I didn’t realize how much I’d missed the experience of interviewing experts, and this has been an exceptional bunch—they’ve all been particularly inspiring, open-hearted, and just…lovely. It’s also been fascinating to see everyone hit on similar themes, even when I haven’t asked them about those things specifically. (“You are not your job” and “You don’t need to buy a ton of stuff but you do probably need to go look at a flower” are two sentiments that have come up again and again and again.)

• Consuming art! This is one of the core ideas of The Nice Life, so I’ve been extra aware of it lately. We watched a very good ‘90s movie called Daytrippers a couple of weekends ago, and My Fair Lady (which I’d never seen before!) last night. I also saw Death Becomes Her again, and went to Lady Gaga’s Mayhem ball with my entire family. It all helps!

• Being as creative as I can without getting distracted from writing. (Right now, that looks like playing a lot of Animal Crossing, which also conveniently keeps me from doomscrolling.) And I’ve made plans to have a papier maché day with Kiyana and JP after I turn in my manuscript next month, which I’m really excited about.

• Hanging out with people who share my values, and who make me laugh. It really does make a difference!

How are you all doing? How are you getting through this, and how are you actively pushing back? I’d love to know! 💛

Growing a terrace garden in NYC (part III)

Hello, friends! It’s been a minute! 

I haven’t written much lately because I’ve been out in these streets organizing around housing and traffic safety and out in our garden tending to my crops. But I’m happy to report that across the board, good things are growing! 

Backing up a little: At the end of June, right before the mayoral primary (which: LONGEST YEAH BOY EVER), NYC had a nasty heat wave and our plants suffered a bit. The nasturtium had a pretty rough go of it, and there were some nutrient deficiencies all around. Meanwhile, the hanging petunias, which were already having a hard time, got super dry and scraggly, despite the fact that the soil was definitely moist. Erik has been amazingly helpful in terms of how to solve these problems (a little fish fertilizer here, a little hydrogen peroxide solution there!), but his best general advice was to give everything way more water to get it to start growing like crazy. I had him show me exactly how he’d water everything, and…yeah, it was definitely a lot more water than I had been using! Our plants weren’t dry, but I was definitely being too timid with the hose. The extra water has made a huge difference; everything is looking way more colorful and lush. 

The other big change is that we bid farewell to our cooler-weather veggies (the radishes and lettuce) and are now growing bush beans and “bush” cucumbers. I put the latter in quotes because these guys are still extremely viney. After a couple of weeks of them flopping all over the place and wrapping their little fingies around everything, I put in some small trellises; giving them something to cling to really helped and is also doing a lot for the planters aesthetically! The yellow flowers have attracted tons of big fat fuzzy bees, and lots of little cucumbers have started appearing.

The boxes were feeling a bit empty without all of our leafy lettuce plants, so Kiyana and I picked up a hot pink Volcano phlox and a bunch of reddish-pink petunias at the farmers market, and those are all doing very well. I also planted some seeds at the end of May that have now either started to flower or are very close to it—my Thumbelina (!) zinnias popped open last week, and the first of the marigolds I planted literally opened up a couple hours ago. 

Meanwhile, our tomato plants have basically doubled in height since my last update and are now producing lots of fruit. We’ve been able to harvest a ton of the Super Sweet 100s, which are delicious (and I don’t even like cherry tomatoes that much); I think we’ll try to do two of these plants next year because we’re so into this one.

We’ve also picked a few of the Genovese tomatoes, which look like tiny fairy tale pumpkins and turn the most beautiful shades of yellow, orange, and then red as they ripen.

We’ve also got tons of little jalapeños growing, along with several beautiful Italianelle peppers and a few big fat green bell peppers. 

I gotta say…I’ll definitely never love summer, but this garden is making me wish it away less than I have in the past! I’m already sad thinking about a future where I don’t get to come out and water the plants every morning. 

If you’re currently growing anything, I’d love to know how it’s going! 🌼

Growing a terrace garden in NYC (part II)

So much has been happening in our terrace garden over the past eight weeks! 

First, Erik came back in mid-May for our second round of planting! This time around, we added white hanging petunias, a mini skirt hosta, and a peachy climbing rose; planted peppers, jalapeños, and basil; and transplanted the tomatoes into their forever homes. About a week later, I took a trip to the farmers market and picked up some additional pepper plants, zinnias, and marigolds, along with a lavender stream plant. Kiyana and I also added some easy-to-install decking from IKEA to half of the terrace, along with a box that serves as a flower stand/extra seating, all of which has made a huge difference aesthetically.

Also pictured here: pizza dough focaccia and the best hummus, topped with parsley from our garden. Also, the tomato plant in this photo from May 25 is now as tall as the railing!

We’ve also been able to start harvesting! I picked a ton of chive blossoms and turned them into chive blossom vinegar. We’ve had several nice radishes, which we’ve been pickling. Kiyana used thyme, oregano, and rosemary a couple times when roasting a whole chicken, and I’ve been drying bunches of herbs to save.

The nasturtium has become the goldendoodle of the planter box. It’s very nice but it’s also….too enthusiastic? Borderline badly behaved? It’s growing at an incredibly fast pace and in every direction. (“Leave her alone!!!!” I thought as I pulled a huge branch off the zinnias, which it was fully pawing.) I keep cutting it back and it just keeps going. The last time Erik came by, he suggested leaning one of the plants fully to the left (it was already moving in that direction) to see if we can get it to sort of grow toward the far edge of the planter as opposed to over everything else. Then he brought some of the stems of the other nasturtium around the front so see if it could essentially becoming more of a cascading plant, which is working well. (You can see some of the tendrils creeping over the front in the photo of the snapdragon below. Those tendrils are now reaching the ground.)

Meanwhile, the pink snapdragon emerged as the star of the show. About a week after we first planted everything in April, we had a terribly windy day; everything outside was whipping around like crazy as I watched in horror. Everything came through unharmed, except for the pink snapdragon; the stem broke about four inches from the top. Erik told me to leave it and it would probably be OK, so I did…and, like a gorgeous hydra, it came back so much stronger and more beautiful. It’s actually doing better than the yellow snapdragon, which initially fared well in the wind. Feels like a metaphor! Don’t peak in high school!!

Other good things are happening: There are currently dozens of tiny green tomatoes on the Super Sweet 100 plant, which has gotten so tall, and little baby jalapeños have appeared. The beardtongue got super tall and then finally bloomed lavender flowers, immediately attracting BFFBs (big fat fuzzy/fucking bees). The nemesia is thriving—just really solid/consistent/pretty. The rose has also been quite consistent; we’ve had a lot of beautiful blooms so far. And three mushrooms have popped up, which Erik says is a sign of a healthy ecosystem. 

There have also been some losses. The ranunculus was doing well for a while and then just…decided it had had enough. Some of the radishes bolted (meaning they went to seed too quickly, probably because the soil got too hot), and the carrots, green onions, and cilantro seeds we planted have been a little hit or miss, though I think everything now is ultimately on track now. 

We also had a petunia disaster a few weeks ago. The first time I watered them, I did a half-gallon of water + a half portion of fertilizer. Everything went well, so the next time, I decided I’d do a full gallon so I didn’t have to water them again so soon. (Erik had said I could go either route with the fert.) About 15 minutes later, I heard a loud thud.

All the extra water had made the soil really heavy (duh, in hindsight, but it hadn’t occurred to me); the planter’s bottom fully broke from the extra weight, and the petunia came crashing down. It actually survived the fall so I gently transferred it to a bucket until a replacement planter arrived. It’s currently doing…okay. It’s not exactly mounting a snapdragon-style comeback just yet and looks, well…like it got bashed on one side! Overall, I’d say that the petunias have been the most fussy/hands-on plant so far, at least relative to everything else. 

Now we’re meaningfully thinking about summer plants; Erik dropped by last week and planted beans and cucumbers. I’m very excited to see how things start to change now that it’s getting warmer!

If you’re tending to plants or a garden, I’d love to hear how it’s all growing! Also if you have any suggestions for what to make with copious amounts of parsley…hit me up. 🌿

How I’m thinking about politics and despair right now

I saw someone say on BlueSky the other day that it looks like we’re heading toward another “Summer of _____.” And…yeah: Things are fucking shit in the U.S. right now, and are likely going to be bad for a while. It’s all extremely overwhelming and demoralizing, but the best course of action is, of course, to try and do something about it.

The idea of doing something can also be overwhelming! Like, what can I personally do about the likes of someone as rotten and powerful as RFK Jr.? This is why I always return to the idea of taking action at the local/state level, as that’s where so much of what meaningfully affects our day-to-day lives (not to mention actual state/federal policy, eventually) actually happens. As I wrote back in 2020: “Change isn’t limited to general election years; it happens at city council and school board meetings and late-night legislative sessions. It happens when state supreme courts decide which cases to hear and police budgets are allocated. It happens no matter who the president is, or what party controls Congress. Now is a great time to learn the names of your reps, follow local organizers and reporters, sign up for a few relevant newsletters (and make a habit of reading them), start regularly consuming your local news, and set up a few recurring donations.” 

I stand by this…but I’m very aware that focusing on your county or state can also be overwhelming, or at least just super confusing. Local politics can feel impenetrable to anyone who hasn’t been doing this full-time for the past 20 years, and there’s just so much bad stuff happening right now—everywhere, all the time, and it’s all worthy of our attention.  

So this spring, I took a similar-but-different approach that I’ve been finding quite helpful: I chose a “major” and a “minor” for myself with regard to city politics. The idea is that I’m pushing myself to go really deep on those two issues for the next several years (which is how long it takes to get anything done anyway) so that I can be truly effective. I’m still generally aware of other issues—taking my general ed classes, so to speak, which isn’t hard because everything is so interconnected—but I’m putting the bulk of my time and energy into organizing that’s happening around two core issues. 

My major is housing. If you don’t have a safe, affordable place to live, you don’t have much of anything. Housing is connected to other things I care about (public health, literacy, incarceration, homelessness, art/culture, inequality…the list goes on) so it feels like the obvious choice to me. And because there’s so much going on with housing in NYC—we need 100,000 new units, according to one estimate I read, and building them won’t be fast or cheap—I think this will keep me busy for a very long time. 

My minor is street safety. I’m a huge fan of safety in general (lol but also…it’s true) and I feel quite passionate about making New York City’s streets less deadly for pedestrians and cyclists. (This also has the added bonus of fighting climate change!) Honestly, this might turn out to be my major; I simply love to see protected bike lanes, low speed limits for vehicles, congestion pricing, Open Streets, and accessible sidewalks! And because there are a lot of members of the Seething Dork Community actively trying to shut down anything that even remotely undermines what they see as their fundamental right to mow down an elderly person with their car, there are a lot of opportunities for action here! 

I’ve joined organizing groups for each of these issues, which is helping me stay on top of what’s happening week to week and making me aware of what I can be doing in a given moment. I’m also getting an education in how things happen on a very technical level, along with what’s been going on for the past decade (or more because…everything takes so long). It’s been a very good time for this; because of the upcoming Democratic primary/mayoral election (please, for the love of god, don’t rank Cuomo!!!), lots of people are just casually chatting about, say, the specific, nitty-gritty ways a city council candidate has blocked affordable housing in their district. 

Anyway, I’ve been trudging to my community board meetings, Zooming in to City Council hearings, talking to my neighbors, and doing so much reading. (I recently learned, for example, that Community Board 1—an entirely unelected group of people—bought itself a car using a City Council grant a few years ago??? And nothing was ever really done about it? Honestly, this is one of the wildest stories I’ve heard in a minute!!!) 

I think we all know, intellectually, that getting involved is both an effective way to build the world we want to live in and a potent antidote to despair…but it’s still so easy to freeze when confronted with the sheer amount of reactionary wreckage we’re dealing with. Breaking it down into “major/minor” has been a useful practical approach for me, and is helping me feel a little bit less bad. 🕊️

Related: Where I’m getting my news these days

My go-to source for custom frames

Hanging shit on your walls is one of the easiest/most effective ways to make your space feel homey, cozy, and nice. It’s also kiiiiind of a pain to do and can quickly get very expensive. 

For a while, I was using Framebridge, which was effective but also…not cheap. The price (and overall onerous process) meant framing multiple prints was taking a while, which isn’t ideal. When Kiyana and I moved into our new apartment last year—with a lot more wall space to fill—I knew it was time to find a better option. After poking around a bit, I decided to give Frame It Easy a try. I figured I’d order one frame and see how I liked it before committing to any more. Now, 12 (!!) frames later, I’m here to sing the brand’s praises. 

All the frames on this wall except for “New York Ain’t Perfect” are from Frame It Easy

The frames on the right and the left above the desk are from Frame It Easy

You can order frames to your exact specifications, and there’s a nice selection in terms of styles, mats, and clear covers. The prices are very doable (for example, one 11 x 17” frame cost me $56) and the products are made in the U.S. And when I had to contact customer service at one point—because I was assembling everything while sitting at our kitchen bar, and I accidentally knocked a crucial piece of hardware between the counter and the stove and that thing is not coming back until we get a new stove—they were great! They accidentally sent me the wrong replacement piece the first time, but were just extremely lovely and human in terms of getting me the right one, and it was an all-around extremely pleasant experience. 

My biggest/only complaint is that there aren’t more frame styles available, and that you can’t get very small things framed (5” x 5” is the smallest option). That means that I’ll still use other sources from time to time, particularly if I want to frame something super unique or special. But when it comes to, say, buying white square frames for a couple of prints that are going to go on a gallery wall, Frame It Easy is definitely my guy. 🖼️

Growing a terrace garden in NYC (part I)

When Kiyana and I started apartment hunting last year, our biggest non-negotiable was some kind of outdoor space, as that is functionally the only way we can socialize because of my weak immune system. We didn’t have major expectations for what this space would look like or even how big it would be…we just wanted something. We ended up getting really, really lucky: We found a place with a large terrace and an incredible view of downtown Manhattan. (The trade-off was that the interior of the apartment was aesthetically….challenged. More on that some other time!) We’ve been slowly adding furniture to the terrace since moving in last summer, but we knew that this was the year we would really start making something of it…which meant getting plants. 

I started doing research in earnest in March…and was immediately very, very overwhelmed. Gardening is science, and though I successfully grew tomatoes and basil at our old place, the flowers also fried. Figuring out what would grow 200+ feet in the air with our exact lighting and wind conditions was pretty intimidating, and I didn’t want to put a ton of effort into something that was ultimately destined to fail.  

While poking around on Reddit, I came across a website called the Gnome Network, which connects New Yorkers with plant professionals. I posted an ad describing that I was looking for (basically just some guidance/direction on what would grow well up here—and what we should avoid—to increase our chances of success). I got a lot of responses and we were ultimately able to find someone (Erik) who turned out to be a great fit; he’s just getting his solo landscaping and consulting business started, and he immediately understood what we were hoping to do. 

A few days after our initial conversation, Erik came over to see the terrace in person and learn more about what we were hoping to grow; the type of planters we wanted to use (e.g., we were hoping to make use of the two big pots we had at our last apartment); and where we’d ideally like to place them. Kiyana and I were hoping for a mix of flowers, herbs, and vegetables, but weren’t married to anything in particular and really just wanted plants that would grow. 

The next step was observing the light, which ended up being a really fun task. Basically, I set an alarm to go off every hour and then popped outside to see what the sun was getting up to. It was fascinating and also kind of beautiful—I loved it seeing how exactly the light moves hour by hour! I took photos and made detailed notes, and then sent my full report to Erik. A few days later, he sent over a doc with all of his recommendations. Turns out, even though our terrace is fully in the shade until nearly 2 p.m. every day, we get enough hours of afternoon sunlight to be able to grow a lot. 

Then came planting day! Kiyana and I had initially planned to DIY it, but we liked working with Erik so much that we decided to have him take the lead and I’m really glad we did; he brought so much expertise and even just watching exactly how he watered everything was helpful. We learned so much from working with him that we simply would never have figured out on our own. (He also just has a great vibe!! We had a lot of fun chatting with him.) 

Here’s everything we’re starting with in our garden:

• Ranunculus 

• Peruvian lily

• Nemesia

• Threaded coreopsis

• Beard-tongue

• Snapdragons 

• Nasturtium 

• Lettuce! Buttercrunch, red oakleaf, summer crisp magenta, and encore mix

• Herbs: Chives, Italian parsley, lavender, English thyme, oregano, and cilantro

• Carrots

• Radishes

• Green onions

• Costoluto Genovese tomatoes

• Super Sweet 100 tomatoes 

(You can see more of the progress in the TikTok above. Also I am now on TikTok!)

The plan is that we’ll make some swaps in June/July—at that point, it’ll be too hot for a lot of these plants to continue to grow, so we’ll replace them with summer veggies. We’ll also be adding a climbing rose and some hanging baskets with petunias (!!) in a few weeks, once it gets a little bit warmer, and we’ll transfer the tomatoes into their permanent pots. I’m also getting a plant stand to go under the flower pots to elevate them slightly, and we still need to hang up string lights. 

Just planning this garden was a huge mood-booster, and actively tending to it for the past couple of weeks has brought me so much joy. All of the plants are thriving, and it’s really amazing to see how much they can grow and change from one day to the next, and even from morning to afternoon. The radishes and carrots—which, along with the green onions and cilantro, we’re growing from seeds—have started to poke through the dirt, and blossoms have appeared on the nasturtium and Peruvian lily. We’ve also been sitting outside a lot in the evenings to watch the sunset and then stargaze, two activities I love. (Lately we’ve been able to see Jupiter and Mars pretty reliably!) We still haven’t harvested anything edible yet…honestly, it feels crazy at this point to be like “I’m going to pick and munch my friends.” 🌱

I have to give it to the Stanley water bottle

After seeing the Stanley water bottle craze all over social media for the better part of a year, I finally gave in because I wasn’t drinking enough water during the day and I knew my vessel was part of the problem. (Look, I’m as susceptible to hype as anyone—that’s how I ended up at the Wicked movie.) The Stanley (sorry, the Quencher H2.0 Flowstate™ 30-oz. Tumbler) checked all of my boxes: I wanted something dishwasher safe and insulated, with a hard straw, and not too sporty.

You guys…I’m here to tell you that I love this water bottle. So much that I now own two identical ones, as well as a Stanley-shaped ice cube tray that you definitely don’t need and a straw cleaning kit that you probably do. 

Kiyana was anti-Stanley, but even she has had to admit that it’s pretty convenient and keeps water so cold throughout the day. She even borrows it from time to time when she’s working out! Her one complaint—that I think is completely fair—is that it’s kind of top-heavy, meaning it tips over easily if you set it on the floor next to the couch and then your partner doesn’t see it when she stands up. (My guess is the bottom is narrow to fit in a car’s cup holder.) 

I was surprised to learn that you can also put hot drinks in this bottle and sip through a different hole on the lid that stays covered most of the time. That’s not something I have any interest in doing (honestly, I can’t even imagine putting any other cold liquids into it) but I figured I’d mention it in case that’s a selling point for anyone else! 

Get it from Amazon or Stanley for $35. The ice cube tray ($12.99) and straw cleaning kit ($3.59) are also both on Amazon.

Also, I ended up really enjoying Wicked! Sometimes things are annoying on social media and also worth it. 💧

'Nocs walk 02

Our neighborhood ‘nocs walks are continuing apace! Here are some of the birds we’ve spotted in the past month…

Male mallard

Male mallard

Female mallard

Brants

Starling

House sparrow

White-throated sparrow

White-throated sparrow

Camera/lens: Nikon D3000 + Nikon AF-P DX NIKKOR 70-300mm f/4.5-6.3G ED lens

Nocs: Pentax UP 10x21 pink binoculars (hers) and Carson VP series full sized or compact waterproof high definition binoculars (mine)

Location: WNYC Transmitter Park 🐤

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'Nocs walk 01

My girlfriend and I made a goal for this month to go on at least one excursion with our binoculars — a ‘nocs walk! — every week. We actually did three this week, but today’s was the first one where I had the pre-owned telephoto lens I bought last week. Here are some of the birds we saw:

Red-tailed hawk

American robin

Female house sparrow

Male house sparrow

Male house sparrow

White-throated sparrow

House sparrow

Rock pigeon

Camera/lens: Nikon D3000 + Nikon AF-P DX NIKKOR 70-300mm f/4.5-6.3G ED lens

Nocs: Pentax UP 10x21 pink binoculars (hers) and Carson VP series full sized or compact waterproof high definition binoculars (mine)

Location: McCarren Park 🐦

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Just a bunch of good Thanksgiving shit

U.S. Thanksgiving is right around the corner (as are a bunch of other cooking + family holidays), so I thought it would be a good time to share a bunch of resources and tips that might be helpful as you think about how you’ll spend your holiday!

Education

• How to Support Indigenous People on Thanksgiving

• Decolonizing Thanksgiving Toolkit Part II: Indigenous Peoples Today

• All My Relations is a podcast hosted by Matika Wilbur and Adrienne Keene. (Dr. Keene’s blog has taught me so much over the years; I really recommend it!) “ThanksTaking or ThanksGiving?” is a good episode to start with.

• You can also look into local-to-you organizations that need support; for example, I’m making a monthly donation to NYC’s American Indian Community House. You might also want to contribute to a voluntary land tax if that’s an option in your area, or go the broader route and give time/money Indigenous Environmental Network.

Making cooking more pleasant and less stressful

Generally speaking

• 9 things that have made me a calmer, better cook

• In Nancy Meyers’ Kitchen, my favorite cooking playlist

Recipes

This is the Thanksgiving menu I’m working with this year, all of which I made last yer and loved.

• Beef tenderloin with homemade horseradish sauce from Joy of Cooking

• House mashed potatoes (How Sweet Eats)

• Maple-roasted Brussels sprouts with toasted hazelnuts (NYT Cooking)

• Cranberry sauce (NYT Cooking)

• Apple cider spritz, pomegranate Aperol spritz, or winter Aperol spritz (How Sweet Eats)

• Spiced pumpkin pie (NYT Cooking) with stand mixer pie crust (King Arthur Flour)

Also, it is my sincerely-held belief that the most important thing you will eat on any big holiday is actually breakfast. I feel like people often overlook it because they want to get started cooking (or they don’t know what to have because they’re in someone else’s home) and think it’ll be fine because they are going to eat a big meal later…and then they are starving and extremely cranky by noon. So plan ahead! When hosting, I’m a huge fan of a make-ahead breakfast casserole. And if you’re not the one hosting…maybe offer to make a make-ahead breakfast casserole?

Food-related bonus reads

• Why Diet Coke Is the Perfect Thanksgiving Beverage (because you always need an EANAB!)

• The Cranberry Caucus Is Insanely Powerful

• Meet The Woman Who Has Been Saving Thanksgiving For The Past 33 Years.

Having people over

Generally speaking

• 8 Easy, Genius Hosting Tips that Expert Entertainer Dorinda Medley Swears By

• A Few Small Tips for Throwing a Great Party This Summer

• Just a Bunch of Easy Ways to Make Vaxxed Hangouts Safer in the Delta Era

Family stuff

• A Beginner's Guide to Hosting Family for the Holidays Without Melting Down

• How to Go Home for the Holidays When Your Family Is a Bit Much

Decorations

• Danica taper candles (review here) in rust, wine, black, honey, and/or taupe are gorgeous for fall.

• If you live in the NYC area and need dishes and/or servingware, I highly recommend going to Fishs Eddy and browsing their incredible selection of dinerware. We recently replaced our mismatched dishes with green Homer Laughlin china from Fishs Eddy and I’m so thrilled about it.

• Last Thanksgiving, I bought a Blue Rose Pottery pie plate ($48.50) to make my first-ever pie and ended up loving it way more than I expected to. The specific one I bought is currently out of stock, but there are tons of other cute options.

Pre-dinner readings

• The Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Address

• “Perhaps the World Ends Here”

• “The Orange”

• Pretty much anything by Mary Oliver

Entertainment and games

• First, definitely read 22 Ways to Make Thanksgiving Into Your Own Weird, Perfect Holiday, which my friend Amy Rose wrote.

• If you’ll be celebrating on your own, check out How to Have a Very Nice Solo Holiday, which I edited last year.

• If you’re a “TV on all day” kind of family, my girlfriend and I have a tradition where we watch every Thanksgiving episode of Friends on Thanksgiving morning/day. I’m not really a Friends fan (like, I’ve seen it and don’t dislike it, I’ve just never actively watched it) but I find I really enjoy it in this context! You could also do this with any show that has a lot of seasons and always did strong Thanksgiving episodes (Gossip Girl comes to mind, and I bet The Nanny would work here too) as a nice alternative to football or whatever the hell NBC shows during the day after the parade ends.

• ICYMI, check out Terri’s list of great shows to watch when you’re hanging out with your family.

• Working on a crossword puzzle is a low-stakes activity that can be done with a another person or in a small group and is a nice way to engage with relatives/in-laws without having to make small talk about, IDK, “those Spartans” or when exactly you’re going to have kids. You could probably grab a giant book of crossword puzzles from the supermarket or just order The New York Times Greatest Hits of Monday Crossword Puzzles: 100 Easy Puzzles, The New York Times Crosswords for a Long Weekend: 200 Easy to Hard Crossword Puzzles, or any other NYT joint.

• A few board games to have in your closet: Clue (the retro version for $19.99 or the updated one for $10.99), Mexican train dominoes ($19.29), Dixit ($31.99), and Codenames ($11.49).

• A few card games worth tossing in your weekender (or bringing as a host gift): Cover Your Assets ($16.99), Sushi Go ($7.39), Strawberry Sunset ($12.95), The Bears and the Bees ($14.99), and Anomia ($15.50) (review here).

• If you have a Nintendo Switch, pick up some extra joy-cons in advance (or borrow from a friend), get any cables you need to connect it to the TV, and download Super Smash Bros., Overcooked, or a Jackbox Party Pack (which doesn’t require extra controllers BTW). 🦃

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