Filtered by Category: Weekly Links

Just Good Shit: 09.08.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

This was an unexpectedly busy week for me, which is why it was a bit quiet around these parts! Here’s some of what I got up to…


I wrote about dealing with work burnout and establishing work-life balance for The Highlight by Vox.


Amazon’s Next-Day Delivery Has Brought Chaos And Carnage To America’s Streets, BuzzFeed News.

On the Job, 24 Hours a Day, 27 Days a Month, The New York Times.

Ten Years of Taylor Swift: How the Pop Star Went From Sweetheart to Snake (and Back Again?), The Ringer.

Are Online Beauty Product Reviews Just One Big Scam?, Allure.

This Football League Was Built For Girls Who Love To Hit, Deadspin.

Toward a Universal Theory of ‘Mom Jeans’, The Atlantic.

I Thought My Writing Career Was Over. A DIY Furniture Project Saved It., Bustle.

‘Friends’ Is Turning 25. Here’s Why We Can’t Stop Watching it., The New York Times.

#1223: Feminist Wedding Etiquette Help, Captain Awkward.

We Belong Here: Transforming Your Home Into a Place of Healing, Apartment Therapy.

‘I’m Sick of Seeing My Face,’ Says the Internet’s Kombucha Connoisseur, The New York Times.

The Great American History of the Boob Light, MEL Magazine.

How to Skip All of a Person's Instagram Stories in One Swoop, Lifehacker.

The 'Dusty Stick' Is the Best Slack Emoji That Nobody Uses, VICE.

How to Solve a Rubik's Cube, Step by Step, Wired.


The marinated tomato BLTs I mentioned last week turned out to be incredible — highly, highly recommend!

Have a great Sunday! 🌻

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Just Good Shit: 09.01.19

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Heyoh! I’m back from vacation just in time for September, my least favorite month of the year. Here’s what I’ve got for you…

On the blog


You can catch me on two episodes of NPR’s Life Kit: “Accept The Awkwardness: How To Make Friends (And Keep Them)” and “When Friendships Change, How To Cope.” I was also interviewed for this article: Want Stronger Friendships? Pull Out Your Notepad.


I read a bunch of books while on vacation: Red, White & Royal Blue, which I fucking loved and highly recommend; Heartburn, which was very funny/different but definitely didn’t age well; and The Blue Bistro (not my fave Elin novel, but I know most people love it). I also started Silver Girl.


No distractions: An NFL veteran opens up on his sexuality, ESPN.
This is so moving; if you read one thing this week, make it this.

The Ruling In This 'Friends' Lawsuit Set Back The #MeToo Movement By Years — Now The Woman At The Center Of It Speaks Out, Bustle.

Fix the Electoral College — Or Scrap It, The New York Times.

Vote for the Woman Because She’s a Woman, Time.

The Adults In The Room, Deadspin.

“The journalists at Deadspin and its sister sites, like most journalists I know, are eager to do work that makes money; we are even willing to compromise for it, knowing that our jobs and futures rest on it. An ever-growing number of media owners, meanwhile, are so exceedingly unwilling to reckon with the particulars of their own business that they refuse to accept our eagerness to help them make money. … The tragedy of digital media isn’t that it’s run by ruthless, profiteering guys in ill-fitting suits; it’s that the people posing as the experts know less about how to make money than their employees, to whom they won’t listen.”

Why Celebrities From Reality Stars to A-Listers Fake Their Marriages, Vice.

How MTV’s ‘Are You The One?’ Is Changing Dating Shows, Rolling Stone.

How Queer People Brought Some Actual Reality to Dating-Reality TV, The New York Times.

How on Earth Did ‘Are You The One’ Get Queer Love So Right?, ELLE.

Battle Hymn of the #Boymom, Jezebel.

I Came Out As A Lesbian While I Was Married To A Man., Raff Out Loud.

How I Learned to Look Like Myself, The Cut.
God, there is so much in this essay about eyebrows that perfectly maps to my own experiences.

The Morning Show: In First Full Trailer, Jennifer Aniston Disses Steve Carell, Worries About Reese Witherspoon, TV Line.

A Guide to Drawing Fat People, Stine Greve on Instagram.


Yesterday I bought three pounds of farmers market tomatoes and am planning to make BLTs with marinated tomatoes and Alison Roman's tomato toast with buttered shrimp.

Have a great Sunday! ✨

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Just Good Shit: 08.18.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

This week was a pretty full one! Here’s what I was up to…

On the blog


I finished Trick Mirror, which I thought was excellent. My favorite essays were “Always Be Optimizing” (which you can read online in The Guardian), “The Cult of Difficult Women,” and “We Come from Old Virginia.”


America Wasn’t a Democracy, Until Black Americans Made It One,

The New York Times Magazine.
I am such a big fan of Nikole Hannah-Jones’ work, and this was no exception. PS You should really make time for the entire 1619 Project this week.

“Do you have white teenage sons? Listen up.”, Joanna Schroeder on Twitter.

Elizabeth Warren’s Classroom Strategy, The Cut.
I loved reading this and didn’t want it to end.

Demi Burnett and the Queering of Bachelor Nation, them.

When Is a Caption Close Enough?, The Atlantic.

Three Years of Misery Inside Google, the Happiest Company in Tech, Wired.

How aggressively cute toys for adults became a $686 million business, Vox.

I Thought I'd Accepted My Body. Then I Got Pregnant., A Cup of Jo.

Accessible Design in 2019 & Beyond, Design*Sponge.

Dudes Love White Claw, So Maybe the Idea of ‘Bitch Beer’ Can Finally Die, Eater.

How ‘Am I the Asshole?’ became the internet’s most profound query, The Daily Dot.

How to *Actually* Forgive Someone, Man Repeller.

The Two Brides Who Wore Three Different Outfits, The Cut.
“We walked down the aisle to the song ‘1950’ by King Princess, an instrumental version of that.” Fuck me up.

America Has Never Been So Desperate for Tomato Season, The Atlantic.
“Tomatoes are proof that the world still works in some capacity, at least for now.” I loved this.


I decided to make Nora Ephron’s tomato sauce this week (see the above post about tomato season) and it was so great! I felt like a true sauce man. Next time, I’d remove the tomatoes’ seeds either before or right after blanching, but it was fine that I didn’t — the seeds were pretty unobtrusive in the final dish. This recipe also led me to download a sample of Heartburn, and I think I’m going to read the full book soon!

Have a great Sunday! 🍅

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Just Good Shit: 08.11.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

I’ve never really been a birthday person because pretty much everyone takes a vacation during the first week of August (seriously, it’s been this way my entire life), and also I just…don’t care that much! I usually just go to work on my birthday and, like, order my favorite takeout for dinner.

But I’m now dating a Birthday Person™, so this year, I had my first bona fide birthday week. It included breakfast at Miriam (my favorite), a manicure and pedicure at Paintbucket, a trip to Greenlight and Target, dinner at Allswell, McLeod Farms peaches with pals, an Instax camera and Catbird necklace, Good Genes (a gift from my mom that so far absolutely lives up to the hype), and birthday drinks with friends at The Springs. It was truly lovely and also I’m exhausted.

At Miriam on my birthday

At Miriam on my birthday

My goals/hopes/dreams for my upcoming year are learning to use lay and lie properly in all writing and conversation, and visiting a national park!

Here’s what else I had going on this week…

On the blog


I, like every other self-respecting Brooklyn millennial, am currently reading Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino.


The Media Erased Latinos From the Story, The Atlantic.

A mother died shielding her infant in El Paso. The father died shielding them both, family says., Washington Post.

The End of Straight, GQ.
Make sure you read this one all the way to the end.

I Gained 20 Pounds Before My Wedding and It Was Still Perfect, Glamour.

How to Plan a Wedding. (Or, You Could Just Elope.), The New York Times.
Our girl Terri made her NYT debut!!!

My In-Laws Are Careless About My Deadly Food Allergy!, Ask Polly.

Why are there so many new books about time-travelling lesbians?, The Guardian.

Bad summer, Grief Bacon.

Everything We Learned About Women’s Anatomy from Male Authors, Electric Lit.

Great tweets

“Potatoes in literally any form”

“The full scene with sound is just the greatest scene I’ve ever watched.”

“If you don’t like it…MOVE”

“to all the girlfriends”

Have a great Sunday! 🦁

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Just Good Shit: 08.04.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

On Friday, I turned in the first draft of my manuscript — three days early!!!! — which felt pretty good. Here’s what else I had going on…

On the blog


This week, I read Rosemary: The Hidden Kennedy Daughter, which Terri recommended to me ages ago. As far as works of non-fiction go, it’s very good (and is a surprisingly fast read) but it’s also incredibly upsetting and tragic. Still, I’d recommend it.


Marianne Williamson's Democratic debate performance raised eyebrows. But she's no friend of the left., NBC News.

'These kids are ticking time bombs': The threat of youth basketball and Under the knife: Exposing America's youth basketball crisis, ESPN.

To Cheat and Lie in L.A.: How the College-Admissions Scandal Ensnared the Richest Families in Southern California, Vanity Fair.
This was fascinating, infuriating, and illuminating.

The Mosquitoes Are Coming for Us, The New York Times.

"I Had a Miscarriage", A Cup of Jo.
I loved this essay.

Lana Wood, Natalie’s Little Sister, Has Plenty to Say, The New York Times.

Money Talks: one spouse had student loans, the other paid it all off, The Goods / Vox.

Jia Tolentino Can’t Help But Love Fancy Skincare, Into the Gloss.

We Can’t Risk Losing to Donald Trump By Believing In Anything, McSweeny’s.

“PLOT TWIST, the world's first gender-reveal party baby is a girl who wears suits!”

Best life

I’ve been living in these black bike shorts from Amazon ($32.99 for a pack of six, sizes S-3XL) this summer and I highly recommend them! (I have the size small.)

I went to Lemon’s on Friday night and really enjoyed it! It’s on the roof of the Wythe Hotel, and the drinks were great (as were the chips) and the overall vibe was so cozy. (BTW, if you want a great rooftop view of the NYC skyline, it’s probably worth it to reserve an outdoor table.)

If you love a good scam (who doesn’t???) and true crime, might I suggest American Greed? I recently rediscovered it on Hulu and was reminded why I liked it so much several years ago. It has everything you want from an hour-long true crime show, but none of the dead women.

And I don’t own this National Parks Polaroid camera, but I really wish I did!

Have a great Sunday! 🍒

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Just Good Shit: 07.28.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

It’s a light/late one this week! I didn’t have much time for Internet this week, and I spent the entire day today at Jacob Riis. (It was lovely!) Here’s what I’ve got for you…


I re-read Valley of the Dolls, as planned! And I’m currently reading The Island by Elin Hildebrand. I’m really enjoying reading so many books by a single author in a row like this…it sort of reminds me of reading The Baby-Sitters’ Club books when I was younger — like you see all the little quirks and consistencies across the books. (In Hildebrand’s case, there are a lot of Sancerres and Asiatic lilies, for starters.)


The Crane Wife, The Paris Review.
“There is nothing more humiliating to me than my own desires. Nothing that makes me hate myself more than being burdensome and less than self-sufficient. I did not want to feel like the kind of nagging woman who might exist in a sit-com.” This essay really is as good as everyone has been saying it is.

A woman's greatest enemy? A lack of time to herself, The Guardian.

“Is this guy constantly texting me after I told him not to because he ‘doesn’t understand’ boundaries or because he doesn’t care about them?”, Captain Awkward.

What Big Little Lies Got Wrong About Bonnie, The Atlantic.

Big Little Lies Is Drowning in Its Own Good Intentions About Race, Slate.

Why is everyone on Tinder so obsessed with tacos?, Vox.

Why Has Language Changed So Much So Fast? ‘Because Internet’, The New York Times.
Very excited to read this book.

Why I Always Spend 20 Minutes In The Bathroom When I Get Home, Apartment Therapy.
Terri!! 💛

Have a great Sunday! 🌊

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Just Good Shit: 07.21.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

This week went by so fast. Here’s what I was up to…

On the blog


The second installment of my SELF column is up! You can read it here: The Art of Saying No to Invites When You REALLY Don't Want to Do Something.


This week, I read The Rumor and Beautiful Day, both by Elin Hilderbrand. (I liked The Rumor a lot/better than Beautiful Day.)


It Was Never About Busing, The New York Times.

“No, black kids should not have to leave their neighborhoods to attend a quality school, or sit next to white students to get a quality education. But we cannot be naïve about how this country works. To this day, according to data collected from the Education Department, the whiter the school, the more resources it has. We cannot forget that so many school desegregation lawsuits started with attempts by black parents to simply get equal resources for black schools. Parents demanded integration only after they realized that in a country that does not value black children the same as white ones, black children will never get what white children get unless they sit where white children sit.”

If you read one thing this week, make it this Nikole Hannah-Jones article. (There is also an episode of The Daily about it.)

Confronting the Reality of Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein's Alleged Co-Abuser, Jezebel.

The Explicit Embrace of Racism Is Next, Splinter.
“It is easy to mock this all as hand-wringing over window dressing, given the fact that racism itself has been persisting just fine for all these years. But the public expectation that even racists would act as if they thought racism was bad had value: it was a sign that they thought that the weight of public opinion was on the other side.”

FaceApp Is Everyone’s Problem, The Atlantic.

I found your data. It’s for sale., Washington Post.

The Rise of the Spice Girls Generation, The New York Times.
This is delightful.

The Best Sex Ed I Ever Got Was From Queer YouTubers, Man Repeller.

Orange is the New Black Made TV—and Me—Gay, TIME.

Birthday Blues Bulletin Board: Advice + Open Thread, Captain Awkward.
I love so much about this post, especially this: “‘How did you grow up celebrating birthdays?’ and ‘If you could celebrate any way you want, what would you most like to do?’ are two questions that can get a discussion rolling.” And also this: “If you want a Big Deal made about your birthday, it’s almost certainly up to you to make it (or explicitly tell people close to you what a Big Deal looks like to you and that you’d specifically like one).”

Have a great Sunday! 🍉

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Just Good Shit: 07.14.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi hi hi! Here’s what I had going on this week…

On the blog


After reading this article about Elin Hilderbrand and seeing this related tweet (which I now wholeheartedly co-sign), I decided to read Hilderbrand’s novel A Summer Affair, and ended up really enjoying it! I don’t tend to love/read fiction that much, but this shit…slaps? It’s exactly what I want to be reading while working on my own book (i.e., it doesn’t make me think about work at all, and is light without being truly mindless). I read most of it in the park yesterday and I felt so chill afterward — like it just lit up some pleasure spot in my brain. What a treat!


Ariana Grande on Grief and Growing Up, Vogue.
“For a long time I didn’t want to talk to anyone about anything, because I didn’t want to think about anything. I kind of just wanted to bury myself in work and not focus on the real stuff, because I couldn’t believe it was real.” Ariana Grande’s music isn’t my fave, but I like her as a person, and this profile is very good/sad.

How to Do Less and Achieve More, The New York Times.

USA's formidable women's soccer team is no accident. It's a product of public policy, The Guardian.
“In 1972, when title IX was passed, there were only 700 girls playing soccer at the high-school level in the whole United States. By 1991, the year of the first Women’s World Cup, there were 121,722 high school girl players – a 17,000% increase. That number has more than doubled since: in 2018, there were 390,482 high school girl soccer players.” SEVEN! HUNDRED!!!

It's Time For Women's Soccer To Break Away From FIFA, HuffPost.

Megan Rapinoe Is a New Kind of American Sports Icon, ELLE.

Everyone wants to Instagram the world’s most beautiful canyon. Should they?, Vox.

What It’s Like to Be a Disabled Parent in an Inaccessible World, Rewire.

Dear Internet: The Little Mermaid Also Happens to Be Queer Allegory, LitHub.
“I understand how loneliness pools in someone deep as the sea, how you can hurt so much that you, too, wish to fade, like the turned pages of the waves.”

What It’s Like to Visit ‘Dr. M,’ New York’s Erotic Masseur for Women, The Cut.

How Wellness Influencers Made Indian Food a Trend, Healthyish.

The Best Way to Tour a City Is Through Its Grocery Store, NY Mag.

7 questions about hot girl summer you were too embarrassed to ask, Vox.

Have a great Sunday! ☀️

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Just Good Shit: 07.07.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

This week, I was still really sick with an upper respiratory tract infection. I actually spent several days with no voice. I’ve never lost my voice before, and I found the experience pretty surreal and unpleasant. But I wrote 21,226 words in my manuscript this week (an all-time high for me!) and I’ve finally stopped coughing violently, so I’m feeling pretty OK at the moment!

Here’s what else I had going on…

On the blog


Perversion of Justice, the Miami Herald’s three-part story on Jeffrey Epstein.

Politics Is Changing; Why Aren’t the Pundits Who Cover It?, The Cut.

He Cyberstalked Teen Girls for Years—Then They Fought Back, Wired.

The Obvious Value of Communication is Perhaps Not So Obvious, Cal Newport.
“When I encounter a typical knowledge economy office, with its hive mind buzz of constant unstructured conversation, I don’t see a super-connected, fast-moving and agile organization — I instead see a poorly designed distributed system.”

Get To Know The 2019 U.S. Women’s National Team, FiveThirtyEight.

Convicted of assault and accused of rape, star player received raft of second chances, Seattle Times.
Watching the World Cup today made me think of Hope Solo, which then led me to re-read this 2008 Seattle Times longread about her husband, Jerramy Stevens. It is…a lot.

The Problematic Past and Enduring Appeal of Dr. Seuss, MEL Magazine.

How to Make the Most of Summer Without Feeling the *Pressure*, Man Repeller.

So Your Friends Had a Kid. Here's How to Hang Out With Them Even If They Eat Dinner at 5 p.m., Bon Appétit.

A Genius Packing Tip for Your Honeymoon, A Cup of Jo.
This is a pretty old post, but I really love the red item tip! (Also, it’s not just for honeymoons.)

So the President F*cking Hates My Girlfriend, The Players Tribune.
Ahhh, this whole thing is a goddamn delight.

Extremely into

@DiscoCubes on Instagram.

Live-action references (which is a thing I’d never heard of, but makes perfect sense once you see it) for Disney movies! Check out Hercules and The Little Mermaid.

The fact that a human uterus is so much smaller than I thought?!?!? (Note: that picture is of a human organ so it’s a bit gory!)

I Love Hue, a gentle, dreamy phone game that looks like “San Junipero” and “Nosedive” had a baby, and that a blog reader recommended to me! If you’ve ever thought “What if Tiles got hot???” this is the game for you.


A denim jacket! I never bother with the J. Crew sale rack, but the other day, I was moved to…and then came upon this jacket — in a color that I, for no real reason, always think of as “I’m baby purple” — that happened to be an extra 50% off the sale price. (So, $45.) I’ve never been a jean jacket person, but I really like this! (Note: it runs a bit big; I bought an XS.)

Have a great Sunday! ⚽️

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Just Good Shit: 06.30.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Good evening and happy Pride! This post is limping across the finish line because I have been so sick with a terrible summer cough for the past week/all weekend. (I’ve also completely lost my voice, which is pretty homophobic, given that it’s World Pride.)

Here’s what else I’ve got for you this week…

On the blog

Showing Up

I'm currently seeking stories for my book about times people REALLY showed up for a friend! If someone showed up for you in a particularly thoughtful/remarkable/creative way (big or small!) and you'd like to tell me about it, you can fill out this form.

Annnnd (OR!) if you have more general tips for supporting a friend in a difficult situation that you've personally experienced and you'd like to share those tips with me, this other form is for you!


The Unimaginable Reality of American Concentration Camps, The New Yorker.

Bodies in Seats, The Verge.

The Wild Ride at Babe.Net, The Cut.

The Most Fabulous Old Folks Home, The New York Times.

Happy Pride From AT&T and the $1.8 Million It Gave to Anti-LGBTQ+ and Republican Candidates, Jezebel.

Megan Rapinoe isn’t here to make you comfortable, The Washington Post.

How E-Commerce Sites Manipulate You Into Buying Things You May Not Want, The New York Times.

Co–Star Rising, Vanity Fair.

Mr. Rogers Had a Simple Set of Rules for Talking to Children, The Atlantic.

How a Brand Name Becomes Generic, The New York Times.
I love this as a trivia topic and I learned several new ones from this article!

‘Not Great, Bob!’: The Making of Mad Men’s Greatest Meme, Vulture.

"Their Handsome Father, Ned Wakefield", Shatner Chatner.
For the Sweet Valley fans.

Which U.S. Presidents Were Wife Guys? An Investigation, The Cut.

P.S. Reading list: Pride edition

Have a great Sunday! 🏳️‍🌈

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Just Good Shit: 06.23.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi! This week, I was busy working on my manuscript and prepping for the Pride party my gf and I hosted last night. Here’s what else I had going on…

On the blog


I’m writing a new column for SELF Magazine called A Little Better, and my first one went live this week: Not Great, Bob! The Case for Actually Being Honest When People Ask How You Are.

And I recently chatted with Brittany Luse of The Nod podcast; you can listen to the episode here: How to Show Up.


The Youngest Child Separated From His Family at the Border Was 4 Months Old, The New York Times.

Taylor Swift's 'You Need to Calm Down' Video Is Strangely Both Gay and Sexless, Esquire.
“The song and the video are a vague call for tolerance, conflating gayness with glitter and gowns, woven into a meditation on how Taylor Swift gets no respect, worded in such a way that if you—as the person whose culture is being co-opted for it—has a criticism, it is because you are being obsessive and hysterical. That’s quite a racket she’s got going there.”

No Shade, But There’s a Wrong Way to Make a Gay Anthem, Esquire.

Being Transgender at Goldman Sachs, The New York Times.

How I lost my legs and gained... you want me to say something inspiring here, The Outline.

Elin Hilderbrand Doesn’t Mind That You Call Her Books ‘Beach Reads’, The Cut.

The Case for Boring Office Clothes, The Atlantic.

Why so many beers have retro-looking cans, Vox.

I’m the boss who’s always late, Ask a Manager.

King Princess: Free to Be, them.

The Chicago Harp That Rules the World, Chicago Magazine.

The American Dreamsicle, Topic.
“In the mid-’20s, the Popsicle Corporation and Harry B. Burt, the inventor of the Good Humor bar, went to court over patents and eventually settled on an uneasy truce, wherein Good Humor bars would keep their square shape and ice-cream base, while Popsicles would have exclusive rights to the method that produced their more tubular form and would freeze only syrup, water, or sherbet on a stick.”

How “soccer girl” became the indisputably coolest look, Vox.

I loved this!


Rachel, the jaw-droppingly awkward 10-minute film (based on a true story!!!!!) from John Early and Kate Berlant which I want everyone to watch. (Once you watch, read this interview about it.) Also: Seth Meyers and Rihanna day drinking and Troop Beverly Hills (for the first time ever).

Have a great Sunday! 🍦

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Just Good Shit: 06.16.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hello! Here’s what I was up to this week…

On the blog


The Invisible Victims, Marie Claire.

You saw me covered in blood on a bus. But do you get outraged about all homophobia?, The Guardian.

The Pink, n+1.
“The situation of the vagina in feminist politics today is, even by optimistic standards, hairy.”

Dear Therapist: It’s Hard to Accept Being Single, The Atlantic.

They Gave America 13 Goals—And Got a Lecture in Return, The Atlantic.

Track Star Gabriele Grunewald Couldn’t Win This Race, The New York Times.
“She died on Tuesday at 32 and left a husband, Justin Grunewald, for whom she was everything.”

This Book About Apologies Changed My Life, The Cut.
I bought/read the book after reading this post, and I thought it was great.

The $500m smiley face business, The Hustle.

Booksmart flips the script on the typical teen comedy. Same goes for its costumes., Vox.

The Real Dog Moms of New York City, The New York Times.
I want a movie inspired by this immediately.

Keanu Reeves Keeps His Hands to Himself, Kottke.
Manner hands!!!

Great tweets

“My dad died. Classic start to a funny story. He was buried in a small village in Sussex. I was really close to my dad so I visited his grave a lot. I still do. [DON’T WORRY, IT GETS FUNNIER.]”
I gasped at the end of this!

“The story of a modern London cafe...”

“this artist remembered that there are boy-chickens and girl-chickens but let their guard down with the lions i fear”

“I can’t believe this but #Lover leaked.”

“Just a quick sniff”

“Welcome to physical therapy.”

Fun stuff

The Times has a new puzzle game: Tiles. It took me a little while to understand how to clear the board/actually complete a game, but now that I’ve figured it out, I’m hooked!


I am currently obsessed with Freedom Moses knockoff Birks ($45), which come in basically every color, and every color is made in men, women, and children’s sizes. I bought the Lagoon because the Tropicool was/is sold out, but I love the Capri and Baby options, and the Fuji and Parma are very pretty IRL. (Also, they were three pairs for $99 when I bought mine and it looks like that is still the case.)


If you enjoyed the recent “nuns and nones” NYT article, you might be interested in the fact that Mariandale in Ossining is hosting a daylong version, which sounds lovely. I won’t be able to make it, but I’ve had nothing but great experiences at Mariandale.

In other news, I took the Rockaway Ferry line from Wall Street to the beach this weekend and it was great — highly recommend it as a way of traveling to Rockaway Beach/Ft. Tilden/Jacob Riis.

Have a great Sunday! 🌊

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Just Good Shit: 06.09.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hello! Here’s what I’ve got for you this week…

On the blog


Brendan Fraser’s #MeToo Story Is Why More Male Victims Don’t Speak Out, MEL Magazine.

Gay couple beaten for refusing to kiss on London bus, BBC.
This is so upsetting, and something I worry about…not infrequently. It also reminded me of this (much lighter!) Sara Benincasa essay.

The Catastrophist, or: On coming out as trans at 37, Vox.
“My name is Emily VanDerWerff. I fought hard for that name, as hard as I’ve ever fought for anything in my life. Now that I have it, I’m so scared of losing it, so I’m telling you in hopes you will bear it forward and carry it in your heart.”

Why People Hide Their Disabilities at Work, HBR.

I’m A Feminist Killjoy—And My Husband Loves it, A Practical Wedding.

Teens Taking AP Exams Are Battling for Their Right to Meme, MEL Magazine.

Too Many People Want to Travel, The Atlantic.

How to be a library archive tourist, Tiny Subversions.
This is so cute! I loved visiting special collections at MSU!

Four Steps to the Perfect Smoky Eye, Strange Horizons.
I spotted this short story in a Captain Awkward post this week and thought it was great. (Note: it deals with domestic violence/violence against women.)

How could The Overstory be considered a book of the year?, The Guardian.
I finished The Overstory this week (finally!) and this review perfectly sums up how I felt about it. I loved the idea of it, but I just couldn’t ever really connect with the characters. I wanted this concept, but in the hands of a different author (like Min Jin Lee). That said, a lot of people loved it, so what do I know???

Laura Everett and Abbi Holt: United by Love and Religion, The New York Times.

How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To, HBR.

The rise of granny panties, Vox / The Goods.

Unconventional Life Hack: Always Say Yes to a Glass of Water, Man Repeller.

Actually, Phone Calls Are Good, The Cut.

How to Draw a Horse, The New Yorker.

Great tweets

“Some are born a peacock, some have to work a little harder to achieve their peacockness.”

“Happy Pride to my favorite exchange in SVU history.”

“Grandpa’s comin.”


On Saturday, I spotted these extremely fratty sherbet-colored Polo pants in the men’s department at Urban Outfitters and my entire body lit up? I tried them on and it was obvious — I could not let them get away. Happy Father’s Day to me!


I had drinks/dinner at The Springs in Greenpoint on Friday night and it was delightful. The backyard is huge and so well-manicured, and the Aperol spritz slushy was SO good (better than a regular Aperol spritz). And it didn’t hurt that the sunset on Friday night was truly magical.

Have a great Sunday!🍹

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Just Good Shit: 06.02.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hello and happy June! ICYMI, I shared some ~ personal news ~ this week in honor of Pride, which felt scary but also good! I really appreciated the genuinely joyful and deeply kind messages I got in response — it really does mean a lot.

The best part — aside from the fact that I can now be unrepentantly queer on the Internet and also stop posting the bulk of my Instagram Stories to “Close Friends” (RIP) — is the number of messages I got from people who had similar experiences to mine. I knew I was far from the only person who had dated or been married to a man and then started dating women. (In fact, knowing I wasn’t the only one was what made it possible for me to follow my heart when I first realized I had a crush last year!) But still. It was lovely and humbling and special to hear it from so many people I “know,” especially on the first day of Pride. I hope we are getting closer to a world in which we are all allowed to be open, to be truly seen, to feel a little less alone, to be a little more OK.

Here’s what else I had going on…

On the blog


An Alabama Woman Got Pregnant While In Jail. She Has No Memory of Having Sex., The Appeal.

Olivia Wilde, Director: ‘Too Old to Play Dumb Anymore’, The New York Times.

Murder, They Wrote, Bookforum.
My Favorite Murder isn’t personally my cup of tea, but I thought this was a really good and thoughtful article.

Everything you know about hyenas is wrong — these animals are fierce, social and incredibly smart, TED.
Holy shit????

How Beanie Feldstein Made It to the Party, Vulture.

These Millennials Got New Roommates. They’re Nuns., The New York Times.

Nicolás Medina Mora with thoughts on / tips for Americans vacationing in Mexico.

I think my bad personality is sabotaging my good work, Ask a Manager.

Why Are We So Obsessed With Being "Spontaneous"?, Man Repeller.
“Being the purveyor of a good plan brings with it the delectable delight of being able to look forward to things. There’s something tantalizingly pleasing about peeking at your diary and seeing all the treats you have lined up.” It me!

I Can’t Hate My Body if I Love Hers, The New York Times.

Why Tracy Flick Is Still Inescapable, Vanity Fair.

How to Be Happy? A Nearly 90-Year-Old Has Some Advice, Glamour.

What Every Successful Person Knows, But Never Says, James Clear.



This video of a deeply upsetting police interaction.

Also: Booksmart, which I loved! (Except for the ending to the Jessica Williams storyline, which is so bad, it’s genuinely bizarre? I have SO many questions!!!) Also Election, which I haven’t seen in like a decade, and the first episode of Gentleman Jack on HBO. And the Muses from Hercules.


Last week, I bought Fenty concealer ($26 at Sephora) — my first-ever Fenty product — and it’s SO GOOD, holy shit? I’m angry I didn’t try it sooner.


I went to Brooklyn Museum’s First Saturday last night, which was good, wholesome fun. If you get a chance to check out the Stonewall exhibit, do — it’s worth it solely for the centerpiece on Stormé DeLaverie.

Have a great Sunday! 🌈

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Just Good Shit: 05.26.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hello! Here’s what I was up to this week…

On the blog

From the archives

It’s OK To Feel Sad In The Summer — for everyone who feels like shit this time of year.


Breaking: Nobody Knows What’s Going to Happen in 2020, The Cut.

Allow Aurora Perrineau to Reintroduce Herself, Glamour.

Francesca Lia Block and Nineties Nostalgia, The Paris Review.
Wowowow, I feel like this article was written just for me.

Two days with Curvy Wife Guy, the most controversial man in body positivity, The Goods / Vox.

Women on wheels, Curbed.

When I couldn’t tell the world I wanted to transition, I went to Dressbarn, The Goods / Vox.

I Wanted a Burrito, but Got This Brain Injury Instead, Human Parts.

The Politics of Going to the Bathroom, The Nation.

When a Fatal Grizzly Mauling Goes Viral, Outside.

The Underrated Pleasures of Eating Dinner Early, The New Yorker.
I eat very late but I still appreciated this!

And this very good thread about Floyd Martin, a beloved mailman who is retiring after 35 years.


Fleabag Season 2, which is excellent. And I’m seeing Booksmart tonight!


I recently bought a pair of Hurricane Drift Tevas in Endive ($40) and I…love them? (Also available from Zappos.) They look like a Teva fucked a Croc but IDGAF. (TBH, everyone in Brooklyn wears kind of ugly shoes, and these are extremely comfortable.) I often struggle to find the right neutral shoes to wear with my preferred palette (that also isn’t creepily close to my skin color), and this muted lemony yellow looks just right with my mint pants, blue J. Crew pants, white jeans and shorts, and other assorted pastels! While having Reynaud’s means I can’t wear open-toe sandals as much as I’d like to in the summer, these shoes are very good for short jaunts / very hot days.

Have a great Sunday! 🕶

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Just Good Shit: 05.19.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Heyoh! It’s another light one this week because I’ve been spending most of my time working on my book and interviewing. Here’s what I’ve got for ya…

On the blog

A modest proposal: all office bathrooms should have a radio in them


Our Fury Over Abortion Was Dismissed for Decades As Hysterical, The Cut.

Related: here’s a thread with the most compelling and moving things I’ve read on abortion over the past several years.

The Night The Lights Went Out, Deadspin.
If you read one thing this week, make it this.

Walking Time Bomb, Vulture.
I’m going to be thinking about this article for a long time.

How the Hell Has Danielle Steel Managed to Write 179 Books?, Glamour.

Stuff Your ‘Rules’, The New York Times.

Inside the Fervid Mind of a Professional Crossword Puzzler, Man Repeller.

When the Music Biz Had It That Way, The Ringer.
This one sent me down a rabbit hole! I also read about prolific songwriter Max Martin and learned that “I Want It That Way” originally had entirely different lyrics.

Why You Should Start Binge-Reading Right Now, The New York Times.

#1200: “My mom is bugging me to clean my room.”, Captain Awkward.

Honestly, We Just Hate Women, McSweeney’s.

Have a great Sunday! 🌼

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Just Good Shit: 05.12.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi! Here’s what I had going on this week…

On the blog


My Cousin Was My Hero. Until the Day He Tried to Kill Me., The New York Times Magazine.

What ‘Good’ Dads Get Away With, The New York Times.

Why Rachel Held Evans Meant So Much To So Many, BuzzFeed.

Where on Earth Is Sam Sayers?, Seattle Met.

My Queer Skincare Secrets, Gay Magazine.

Desperately Seeking a Black Sperm Donor, The New York Times.

An Extraordinary New Book Dismantles the Myths That Surround Domestic Violence, The New York Times.

My Quest for the Perfect Pair of Summertime Clogs, The Cut.
I, too, am on the quest for perfect summertime clogs/non-sandals.

An Interview With A Man Who Eats Leftover Food From Strangers' Plates In Restaurants, Deadspin.


After the Met Gala on Monday night, I went down a rabbit hole and watched The First Monday in May, The September Issue, The Devil Wears Prada, and Ocean’s Eight.


On Saturday morning, I was first in line at the Dusen Dusen, Cold Picnic, Areaware, Golde, Helen Levi, and Susan Alexandra sample sale. My prize? The sole 4x6 “Flood Season” rug, plus a pretty huge haul that included a Cold Picnic bathmat, a Dusen Dusen striped throw blanket, and a bunch of other goodies. It was so fun, and I'm really happy about everything I got!

Have a great Sunday! 🌷

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Just Good Shit: 05.05.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi! I was pretty head-down working on my book this week, but here’s what else I got up to.

On the blog


We Have Always Lived In Presidential Primary Season : A Half-Assed Activist Post About Getting Through This Shitshow Without Perpetuating Or Tolerating Bad Behavior And Keeping Some Tiny Spark Of Hope Alive, Captain Awkward / Patreon.
This is so good. Like, I need to re-read it every week until the election.

Poetry Rx: There Are Enough Ballrooms in You, The Paris Review.
Wowowowow the first poem here!!! It’s worth clicking through in that post and reading the whole thing (it starts on page 8). I’m going to be thinking about this one for a long time.

The Case of the Stolen Ruby Slippers, The Washington Post.
I loved this.

Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden, Harper’s Bazaar.

Should These Clothes Be Saved?, The New York Times.

Rachel Held Evans, the Hugely Popular Christian Writer Who Challenged the Evangelical Establishment, Is Dead at 37, Slate.
Gosh, this is just so sad.

Why is framing a picture so expensive?, Vox / The Goods.

The Best Advice You’ve Ever Received (and Are Willing to Pass On), The New York Times.

Botanical Sexism Cultivates Home-Grown Allergies, Scientific American.

Learning How to Be Gentle in the Face of Trauma—Others’ and My Own, Catapult.

The Problem Isn’t Twitter. It’s That You Care About Twitter., The Atlantic.

How to Look 13 When You’re 30, The Cut.

Watching & listening to


Knock Down the House on Netflix (aka "the AOC documentary”).


We started Pen 15 last night (on Hulu) and were literally crying with laughter at the end of the first episode. And after watching the most recent season of Veep, I started watching it from the beginning and am really enjoying it.


I’ve been listening to Uncover: Escaping NXIVM (it’s Season 1) and wow — it’s incredibly disturbing.


This week, I made Shutterbean’s roasted broccoli and white beans and it turned out so well. I used frozen broccoli and when I made a second batch to eat throughout the week, I did half chickpeas and half white beans (because chickpeas tend to reheat better). It’s basically the warm version of this excellent broccoli and chickpea salad.

I also made How Sweet Eats’s Brussels sprouts and kale spaghetti with Parmesan and pine nuts for the second time. This time, I added chickpeas and Aidell’s chicken meatballs. And once again, it was so good — definitely recommend!

Have a great Sunday! ⛅️

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Just Good Shit: 04.28.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi, all! Here’s what I had going on this week…


The best $16 I ever spent: Old Navy pajamas after my husband left on Vox / The Goods.

On the blog


This week, I started reading The Overstory by Richard Powers. Also:

The Company That Sells Love to America Had a Dark Secret, The New York Times.
This is a long, completely worthwhile read.

‘For five years we dreaded every meal’: my infant son’s struggle with food, The Guardian.
“At times I was sad to my very marrow, a kind of sadness I have never quite shed, as if a small grain of darkness was planted in me for ever, blooming quietly in my bones even as my child was released from the hospital and sent out into the world to do the things that babies go on to do.”

It Was Never Like Crack, Eater.

Ask Polly: ‘Will Grief Destroy My New Marriage?’, The Cut.
“If you’re going to save yourself, you need to start melting out in the open. Right now you are tidying. Stop it. This is no time to seem fine. This is no time to be good.”

Her ‘Prince Charming’ Turned Out to Be a Crazed Hit Man on the Run, The New York Times.

How the World Fell Head Over Heels for RuPaul, Vogue.

No, You Don’t Have to Stop Apologizing, The New York Times.

The Chic Octogenarian Behind Barbie’s Best Looks, The New York Times.

I Booked a $1,000 Hotel Room With 25,000 Credit Card Points. Should I Charge My Boyfriend for His Share?, Wirecutter.
This is such a good/interesting question!

Against “ME!”, The Ringer.
“‘Hey kids!’ he shouts. ‘Spelling is fun!’ she shouts back. This is how the bridge starts. The bridge, in what is growing to be a pop-era Swift trademark, is a problem.”

Why Grown-Ups Keep Talking Like Little Kids, The Atlantic.

I’m Baby, The Cut.
“‘It’s a way for us to express a feeling of general helplessness and uselessness in a ‘funny/cute’ way,’ my friend Marian Bull, who is indisputably baby, told me.”

Have a great Sunday! 🌱

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Just Good Shit: 04.21.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Heyoh! Here’s what I was up to this week…

On the blog


The Death of an Adjunct, The Atlantic.

(Further reading: the 2016 Gawker series on adjunct professors.)

Why Notre-Dame Was a Tinderbox, The New York Times.

The Lipstick I Wore to My Divorce, The Cut.

Why I Embraced Skin Care After My Mother’s Death, SELF.

What Pulitzer Prize-Nominated Books Should You Read First?, The New York Times.

I’m very excited about The Overstory, The Great Believers, and American Eden (currently free to read on Kindle if you have Prime).

‘You Don’t Have to Have Cerebral Palsy to Relate to My Story’, Vulture.

Three Magical Phrases to Comfort a Dying Person, Jenny Harrington on Human Parts / Medium.

The Fisher-Price Rock 'n Play Recall Speaks to Parental Desperation, Not Just Lack of Awareness, Jezebel.

How to Improve Your Memory (Even if You Can’t Find Your Car Keys), The New York Times.

I’m a big fan of the third tip (tell someone).

Behind the New, Gloriously Queer Emily Dickinson Movie, Vulture.

A Sober Person Walks Into a Nonalcoholic Bar…, Grub Street.

Why I Take All My First Dates to Olive Garden, Bon Appétit.


Homecoming on Netflix and more of Our Planet. I liked Episode 2 (“Frozen Worlds”) a lot — much better than Episode 3 (“Jungles”). BTW, if you’re watching Our Planet with little ones, Netflix tweeted the time stamps of the most intense segments.

Best life

House pants

After seeing several ads for them on Instagram, I ordered these not-quite-sweatpants from Los Angeles Apparel ($40). I am always on the lookout for good house clothes, and I like that I can wear these to work from home and cook but also to take Chuck on walks and run errands. I have the mint, but they come in 14 other colors, and I think I might get a second pair.

The fanny pack life

I bought a small gray Herschel fanny pack during Shopbop’s big sale a couple weeks ago and am loving it so far — it’s been great to get back to the unencumbered life. (If you’e curious, it’s $35 on Amazon and comes in seven other colors.)

Spring pasta

I made NYT Cooking’s Pasta With Fresh Herbs, Lemon and Peas the other night; I don’t think it’ll make the list of my favorite recipes of all time, but it was still good/easy/worth it!

Have a great Sunday! 🐰

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