Just Good Shit: 06.09.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hello! Here’s what I’ve got for you this week…

On the blog

• How to be laid off

• Very good beach shit

• Reading list: Pride edition

Reading

Brendan Fraser’s #MeToo Story Is Why More Male Victims Don’t Speak Out, MEL Magazine.

Gay couple beaten for refusing to kiss on London bus, BBC.
This is so upsetting, and something I worry about…not infrequently. It also reminded me of this (much lighter!) Sara Benincasa essay.

The Catastrophist, or: On coming out as trans at 37, Vox.
“My name is Emily VanDerWerff. I fought hard for that name, as hard as I’ve ever fought for anything in my life. Now that I have it, I’m so scared of losing it, so I’m telling you in hopes you will bear it forward and carry it in your heart.”

Why People Hide Their Disabilities at Work, HBR.

I’m A Feminist Killjoy—And My Husband Loves it, A Practical Wedding.

Teens Taking AP Exams Are Battling for Their Right to Meme, MEL Magazine.

Too Many People Want to Travel, The Atlantic.

How to be a library archive tourist, Tiny Subversions.
This is so cute! I loved visiting special collections at MSU!

Four Steps to the Perfect Smoky Eye, Strange Horizons.
I spotted this short story in a Captain Awkward post this week and thought it was great. (Note: it deals with domestic violence/violence against women.)

How could The Overstory be considered a book of the year?, The Guardian.
I finished The Overstory this week (finally!) and this review perfectly sums up how I felt about it. I loved the idea of it, but I just couldn’t ever really connect with the characters. I wanted this concept, but in the hands of a different author (like Min Jin Lee). That said, a lot of people loved it, so what do I know???

Laura Everett and Abbi Holt: United by Love and Religion, The New York Times.

How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To, HBR.

The rise of granny panties, Vox / The Goods.

Unconventional Life Hack: Always Say Yes to a Glass of Water, Man Repeller.

Actually, Phone Calls Are Good, The Cut.

How to Draw a Horse, The New Yorker.

Great tweets

“Some are born a peacock, some have to work a little harder to achieve their peacockness.”

“Happy Pride to my favorite exchange in SVU history.”

“Grandpa’s comin.”

Shopping

On Saturday, I spotted these extremely fratty sherbet-colored Polo pants in the men’s department at Urban Outfitters and my entire body lit up? I tried them on and it was obvious — I could not let them get away. Happy Father’s Day to me!

NYC

I had drinks/dinner at The Springs in Greenpoint on Friday night and it was delightful. The backyard is huge and so well-manicured, and the Aperol spritz slushy was SO good (better than a regular Aperol spritz). And it didn’t hurt that the sunset on Friday night was truly magical.

Have a great Sunday!🍹

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Just Good Shit: 06.02.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hello and happy June! ICYMI, I shared some ~ personal news ~ this week in honor of Pride, which felt scary but also good! I really appreciated the genuinely joyful and deeply kind messages I got in response — it really does mean a lot.

The best part — aside from the fact that I can now be unrepentantly queer on the Internet and also stop posting the bulk of my Instagram Stories to “Close Friends” (RIP) — is the number of messages I got from people who had similar experiences to mine. I knew I was far from the only person who had dated or been married to a man and then started dating women. (In fact, knowing I wasn’t the only one was what made it possible for me to follow my heart when I first realized I had a crush last year!) But still. It was lovely and humbling and special to hear it from so many people I “know,” especially on the first day of Pride. I hope we are getting closer to a world in which we are all allowed to be open, to be truly seen, to feel a little less alone, to be a little more OK.

Here’s what else I had going on…

On the blog

• Here's an extremely cute idea for your next museum visit (I did this at Brooklyn Museum yesterday!)

• I just really love Paperless Post Flyers

Reading

An Alabama Woman Got Pregnant While In Jail. She Has No Memory of Having Sex., The Appeal.

Olivia Wilde, Director: ‘Too Old to Play Dumb Anymore’, The New York Times.

Murder, They Wrote, Bookforum.
My Favorite Murder isn’t personally my cup of tea, but I thought this was a really good and thoughtful article.

Everything you know about hyenas is wrong — these animals are fierce, social and incredibly smart, TED.
Holy shit????

How Beanie Feldstein Made It to the Party, Vulture.

These Millennials Got New Roommates. They’re Nuns., The New York Times.

Nicolás Medina Mora with thoughts on / tips for Americans vacationing in Mexico.

I think my bad personality is sabotaging my good work, Ask a Manager.

Why Are We So Obsessed With Being "Spontaneous"?, Man Repeller.
“Being the purveyor of a good plan brings with it the delectable delight of being able to look forward to things. There’s something tantalizingly pleasing about peeking at your diary and seeing all the treats you have lined up.” It me!

I Can’t Hate My Body if I Love Hers, The New York Times.

Why Tracy Flick Is Still Inescapable, Vanity Fair.

How to Be Happy? A Nearly 90-Year-Old Has Some Advice, Glamour.

What Every Successful Person Knows, But Never Says, James Clear.

IT’S MOTHEREFFING WEDDING SEASON AGAIN, SO LET’S CHAT, Captain Awkward.

Watching

This video of a deeply upsetting police interaction.

Also: Booksmart, which I loved! (Except for the ending to the Jessica Williams storyline, which is so bad, it’s genuinely bizarre? I have SO many questions!!!) Also Election, which I haven’t seen in like a decade, and the first episode of Gentleman Jack on HBO. And the Muses from Hercules.

Buying

Last week, I bought Fenty concealer ($26 at Sephora) — my first-ever Fenty product — and it’s SO GOOD, holy shit? I’m angry I didn’t try it sooner.

NYC

I went to Brooklyn Museum’s First Saturday last night, which was good, wholesome fun. If you get a chance to check out the Stonewall exhibit, do — it’s worth it solely for the centerpiece on Stormé DeLaverie.

Have a great Sunday! 🌈

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Just Good Shit: 05.26.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hello! Here’s what I was up to this week…

On the blog

• Just good shorts

• 5 delicious recipes for anyone who loves beans and greens

• The joy of Friday Jr.

From the archives

It’s OK To Feel Sad In The Summer — for everyone who feels like shit this time of year.

Reading

Breaking: Nobody Knows What’s Going to Happen in 2020, The Cut.

Allow Aurora Perrineau to Reintroduce Herself, Glamour.

Francesca Lia Block and Nineties Nostalgia, The Paris Review.
Wowowow, I feel like this article was written just for me.

Two days with Curvy Wife Guy, the most controversial man in body positivity, The Goods / Vox.

Women on wheels, Curbed.

When I couldn’t tell the world I wanted to transition, I went to Dressbarn, The Goods / Vox.

I Wanted a Burrito, but Got This Brain Injury Instead, Human Parts.

The Politics of Going to the Bathroom, The Nation.

When a Fatal Grizzly Mauling Goes Viral, Outside.

The Underrated Pleasures of Eating Dinner Early, The New Yorker.
I eat very late but I still appreciated this!

And this very good thread about Floyd Martin, a beloved mailman who is retiring after 35 years.

Watching

Fleabag Season 2, which is excellent. And I’m seeing Booksmart tonight!

Wearing

I recently bought a pair of Hurricane Drift Tevas in Endive ($40) and I…love them? (Also available from Zappos.) They look like a Teva fucked a Croc but IDGAF. (TBH, everyone in Brooklyn wears kind of ugly shoes, and these are extremely comfortable.) I often struggle to find the right neutral shoes to wear with my preferred palette (that also isn’t creepily close to my skin color), and this muted lemony yellow looks just right with my mint pants, blue J. Crew pants, white jeans and shorts, and other assorted pastels! While having Reynaud’s means I can’t wear open-toe sandals as much as I’d like to in the summer, these shoes are very good for short jaunts / very hot days.

Have a great Sunday! 🕶

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Just Good Shit: 05.19.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Heyoh! It’s another light one this week because I’ve been spending most of my time working on my book and interviewing. Here’s what I’ve got for ya…

On the blog

A modest proposal: all office bathrooms should have a radio in them

Reading

Our Fury Over Abortion Was Dismissed for Decades As Hysterical, The Cut.

Related: here’s a thread with the most compelling and moving things I’ve read on abortion over the past several years.

The Night The Lights Went Out, Deadspin.
If you read one thing this week, make it this.

Walking Time Bomb, Vulture.
I’m going to be thinking about this article for a long time.

How the Hell Has Danielle Steel Managed to Write 179 Books?, Glamour.

Stuff Your ‘Rules’, The New York Times.

Inside the Fervid Mind of a Professional Crossword Puzzler, Man Repeller.

When the Music Biz Had It That Way, The Ringer.
This one sent me down a rabbit hole! I also read about prolific songwriter Max Martin and learned that “I Want It That Way” originally had entirely different lyrics.

Why You Should Start Binge-Reading Right Now, The New York Times.

#1200: “My mom is bugging me to clean my room.”, Captain Awkward.

Honestly, We Just Hate Women, McSweeney’s.

Have a great Sunday! 🌼

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Just Good Shit: 05.12.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi! Here’s what I had going on this week…

On the blog

• The best lemon candle is Williams Sonoma's Meyer lemon candle

• The eight types of friends

• Make cut flowers last longer by putting them in the fridge at night

Reading

My Cousin Was My Hero. Until the Day He Tried to Kill Me., The New York Times Magazine.

What ‘Good’ Dads Get Away With, The New York Times.

Why Rachel Held Evans Meant So Much To So Many, BuzzFeed.

Where on Earth Is Sam Sayers?, Seattle Met.

My Queer Skincare Secrets, Gay Magazine.

Desperately Seeking a Black Sperm Donor, The New York Times.

An Extraordinary New Book Dismantles the Myths That Surround Domestic Violence, The New York Times.

My Quest for the Perfect Pair of Summertime Clogs, The Cut.
I, too, am on the quest for perfect summertime clogs/non-sandals.

An Interview With A Man Who Eats Leftover Food From Strangers' Plates In Restaurants, Deadspin.

Watching

After the Met Gala on Monday night, I went down a rabbit hole and watched The First Monday in May, The September Issue, The Devil Wears Prada, and Ocean’s Eight.

Buying

On Saturday morning, I was first in line at the Dusen Dusen, Cold Picnic, Areaware, Golde, Helen Levi, and Susan Alexandra sample sale. My prize? The sole 4x6 “Flood Season” rug, plus a pretty huge haul that included a Cold Picnic bathmat, a Dusen Dusen striped throw blanket, and a bunch of other goodies. It was so fun, and I'm really happy about everything I got!

Have a great Sunday! 🌷

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Just Good Shit: 05.05.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi! I was pretty head-down working on my book this week, but here’s what else I got up to.

On the blog

• Here’s my little hack for using every last cent on a Visa/Amex prepaid gift card

• Just Good Bops: May

Reading

We Have Always Lived In Presidential Primary Season : A Half-Assed Activist Post About Getting Through This Shitshow Without Perpetuating Or Tolerating Bad Behavior And Keeping Some Tiny Spark Of Hope Alive, Captain Awkward / Patreon.
This is so good. Like, I need to re-read it every week until the election.

Poetry Rx: There Are Enough Ballrooms in You, The Paris Review.
Wowowowow the first poem here!!! It’s worth clicking through in that post and reading the whole thing (it starts on page 8). I’m going to be thinking about this one for a long time.

The Case of the Stolen Ruby Slippers, The Washington Post.
I loved this.

Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden, Harper’s Bazaar.

Should These Clothes Be Saved?, The New York Times.

Rachel Held Evans, the Hugely Popular Christian Writer Who Challenged the Evangelical Establishment, Is Dead at 37, Slate.
Gosh, this is just so sad.

Why is framing a picture so expensive?, Vox / The Goods.

The Best Advice You’ve Ever Received (and Are Willing to Pass On), The New York Times.

Botanical Sexism Cultivates Home-Grown Allergies, Scientific American.

Learning How to Be Gentle in the Face of Trauma—Others’ and My Own, Catapult.

The Problem Isn’t Twitter. It’s That You Care About Twitter., The Atlantic.

How to Look 13 When You’re 30, The Cut.

Watching & listening to

Movies

Knock Down the House on Netflix (aka "the AOC documentary”).

TV

We started Pen 15 last night (on Hulu) and were literally crying with laughter at the end of the first episode. And after watching the most recent season of Veep, I started watching it from the beginning and am really enjoying it.

Podcasts

I’ve been listening to Uncover: Escaping NXIVM (it’s Season 1) and wow — it’s incredibly disturbing.

Cooking

This week, I made Shutterbean’s roasted broccoli and white beans and it turned out so well. I used frozen broccoli and when I made a second batch to eat throughout the week, I did half chickpeas and half white beans (because chickpeas tend to reheat better). It’s basically the warm version of this excellent broccoli and chickpea salad.

I also made How Sweet Eats’s Brussels sprouts and kale spaghetti with Parmesan and pine nuts for the second time. This time, I added chickpeas and Aidell’s chicken meatballs. And once again, it was so good — definitely recommend!

Have a great Sunday! ⛅️

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Just Good Shit: 04.28.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi, all! Here’s what I had going on this week…

Writing

The best $16 I ever spent: Old Navy pajamas after my husband left on Vox / The Goods.

On the blog

• A case for having activities instead of hobbies

• PSA: Gas-X is a magic bullet when it comes to period bloating

• 9 things that have made me a calmer, better cook

Reading

This week, I started reading The Overstory by Richard Powers. Also:

The Company That Sells Love to America Had a Dark Secret, The New York Times.
This is a long, completely worthwhile read.

‘For five years we dreaded every meal’: my infant son’s struggle with food, The Guardian.
“At times I was sad to my very marrow, a kind of sadness I have never quite shed, as if a small grain of darkness was planted in me for ever, blooming quietly in my bones even as my child was released from the hospital and sent out into the world to do the things that babies go on to do.”

It Was Never Like Crack, Eater.

Ask Polly: ‘Will Grief Destroy My New Marriage?’, The Cut.
“If you’re going to save yourself, you need to start melting out in the open. Right now you are tidying. Stop it. This is no time to seem fine. This is no time to be good.”

Her ‘Prince Charming’ Turned Out to Be a Crazed Hit Man on the Run, The New York Times.

How the World Fell Head Over Heels for RuPaul, Vogue.

No, You Don’t Have to Stop Apologizing, The New York Times.

The Chic Octogenarian Behind Barbie’s Best Looks, The New York Times.

I Booked a $1,000 Hotel Room With 25,000 Credit Card Points. Should I Charge My Boyfriend for His Share?, Wirecutter.
This is such a good/interesting question!

Against “ME!”, The Ringer.
“‘Hey kids!’ he shouts. ‘Spelling is fun!’ she shouts back. This is how the bridge starts. The bridge, in what is growing to be a pop-era Swift trademark, is a problem.”

Why Grown-Ups Keep Talking Like Little Kids, The Atlantic.

I’m Baby, The Cut.
“‘It’s a way for us to express a feeling of general helplessness and uselessness in a ‘funny/cute’ way,’ my friend Marian Bull, who is indisputably baby, told me.”

Have a great Sunday! 🌱

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Just Good Shit: 04.21.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Heyoh! Here’s what I was up to this week…

On the blog

• So, you should really be using a rinse aid in your dishwasher

• I just love these minty toothpicks

• Just a bunch of good things to read if you want to be a better manager

• Toward a more perfect home screen

Reading

The Death of an Adjunct, The Atlantic.

(Further reading: the 2016 Gawker series on adjunct professors.)

Why Notre-Dame Was a Tinderbox, The New York Times.

The Lipstick I Wore to My Divorce, The Cut.

Why I Embraced Skin Care After My Mother’s Death, SELF.

What Pulitzer Prize-Nominated Books Should You Read First?, The New York Times.

I’m very excited about The Overstory, The Great Believers, and American Eden (currently free to read on Kindle if you have Prime).

‘You Don’t Have to Have Cerebral Palsy to Relate to My Story’, Vulture.

Three Magical Phrases to Comfort a Dying Person, Jenny Harrington on Human Parts / Medium.

The Fisher-Price Rock 'n Play Recall Speaks to Parental Desperation, Not Just Lack of Awareness, Jezebel.

How to Improve Your Memory (Even if You Can’t Find Your Car Keys), The New York Times.

I’m a big fan of the third tip (tell someone).

Behind the New, Gloriously Queer Emily Dickinson Movie, Vulture.

A Sober Person Walks Into a Nonalcoholic Bar…, Grub Street.

Why I Take All My First Dates to Olive Garden, Bon Appétit.

Watching

Homecoming on Netflix and more of Our Planet. I liked Episode 2 (“Frozen Worlds”) a lot — much better than Episode 3 (“Jungles”). BTW, if you’re watching Our Planet with little ones, Netflix tweeted the time stamps of the most intense segments.

Best life

House pants

After seeing several ads for them on Instagram, I ordered these not-quite-sweatpants from Los Angeles Apparel ($40). I am always on the lookout for good house clothes, and I like that I can wear these to work from home and cook but also to take Chuck on walks and run errands. I have the mint, but they come in 14 other colors, and I think I might get a second pair.

The fanny pack life

I bought a small gray Herschel fanny pack during Shopbop’s big sale a couple weeks ago and am loving it so far — it’s been great to get back to the unencumbered life. (If you’e curious, it’s $35 on Amazon and comes in seven other colors.)

Spring pasta

I made NYT Cooking’s Pasta With Fresh Herbs, Lemon and Peas the other night; I don’t think it’ll make the list of my favorite recipes of all time, but it was still good/easy/worth it!

Have a great Sunday! 🐰

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Just Good Shit: 04.14.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

This week, Just Good Shit went live and I published a bunch of new posts, which felt great! And even though the weather was pretty iffy, I got to spend lots of time outdoors and/or with the windows open, which felt amazing.

Here's more from this week...

On the blog

• Tiny life tip: use your iPhone’s photo search function more

• A modest proposal: Take notes when you’re hanging out with friends

• This homemade hummus is truly the best hummus

• Don't sleep on friendship bracelets as a hobby

• Tiny party tip: change your guest Wi-Fi network name to something fun/relevant before you host

• Just Good Bops: April

Reading

‘The Unthinkable Has Happened’, NY Mag.

Jayson Greene's writing about his 2-year-old daughter's death is so remarkable, and deeply moving.

AAFU: My boyfriend of two years ghosted me, The Outline.

"But what happened isn’t simply unjust, it points to something much more frightening — that love itself exists outside the framework of justice. There is no court at which to plead your case, no authority who can grant you recompense. ... There is nothing you can say to him to make him feel sufficiently guilty, nothing he could realistically say to you to take back the fact that he made the choices he did, no adequate combination of the right words in the right order to make any of this okay."

Psycho Analysis, Book Forum.

Every line of this is truly *chef's kiss*.

Sharing the Shame After My Arrest, The New York Times.

My IUD Ghosted My Period But Not My PMS, Cosmopolitan.

Is Your Wellness Practice Just a Diet in Disguise?, Healthyish.

"I’m not asking you to quit paleo or boycott your local SoulCycle. I’m simply asking you to question your motives and your impact—to consider what it could mean to eat intuitively instead of restrictively, to move joyfully instead of punishingly, and to rediscover what a relationship with food looks like without guilt or shame."

How OnlyFans Changed Sex Work Forever, The New York Times.

What It’s Like to Lose a Million Dollars to an Online Dating Scam, The Cut.

How to Be a Better Listener, A Cup of Jo.

The Slippery Slope of Dating Someone With a Trust Fund, The Cut.

Why funky ’70s-style fonts are popping up on brands like Chobani and Glossier, The Goods / Vox.

Pssst: The Just Good Shit blog header is Corben, a free variant of Cooper Black.

Here's a real-life example of an excellent cover letter, Ask a Manager.

This cover letter is so charming!

Watching

Our Planet on Netflix (so far, I don't think it's as good as Planet Earth, but it's still extremely dece), the Fashion Coward sketch on SNL, and this funny video.

NYC

Spring is here (ish)! Now is a good time to bookmark the NYC Street Tree Map.

Have a good one! 👋🏽

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Just Good Shit: 04.07.19

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Happy Sunday! Here’s a recap of what I was into this week.

Reading

• Fifty shades of white: the long fight against racism in romance novels, The Guardian.

  I'd seen this everywhere and finally sat down to read it today. It really is excellent, and very worth your time.

• What Was the Washington Post Afraid Of?, NY Mag.

• Emilia Clarke, of “Game of Thrones,” on Surviving Two Life-Threatening Aneurysms, The New Yorker.

• I am not always very attached to being alive, The Outline.

• Changes Within the Mormon Church Are Too Little, Too Late, Advocate.

• What Southern dynasties’ post-Civil War resurgence tell us about how wealth is really handed down, The Washington Post.

• When did America’s heart turn cold on buffet chains?, The Goods / Vox.

• AACK! The Feminist Paradox of Cathy Guisewite, The Cut.

• Rituals of Honor in Hospital Hallways, The New York Times.

• Inmate with wool allergy moves forward with suit over Texas prison's refusal to give cotton blanket, Houston Chronicle.

• How to Tap Less on Your Phone (but Get More Done), The New York Times.

• Everyone Loves Beans Now, The Cut. Wow, hi, yes.

Watching & listening to

Podcasts

I listened to an old episode of Nancy, "The Pentagon's Secret Gaggle of Gays," which is so goddamn good. I also really liked the cartoon sound effects episode of Twenty Thousand Hertz, and downloaded several others to listen to.

Streaming

On Friday night, after a long week and wanting to zone out with light and easy, I watched some old episodes of I Love Lucy on Amazon Prime. I also watched Free Solo and...did not love it? It's a movie about a man wanting to do something incredibly dangerous, all the people who know him begging him not to, and him doing it anyway. It's a no from me, dawg. ⛰

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