The best things I read in 2021

Happy New Year’s Eve! If you’re planning a cozy night in — which I personally highly recommend — might I suggest reading (or re-reading) some really fantastic longreads from the past year?

Here are all of my faves from 2021, in no particular order:

The Only Strategy Left for Democrats, The Cut.
“Govern like you won, winners.” I think about this line…all the time.

The Road to Terfdom, Lux.

Airbnb Is Spending Millions of Dollars to Make Nightmares Go Away, Bloomberg.

The Pain Was Unbearable. So Why Did Doctors Turn Her Away?, Wired.

The Murders Down the Hall, NY Mag.

As a Black Man in America, I Feel Death Looming Every Day, NYT.

Britney Spears Was Never in Control, The Cut.

Lab-grown meat is supposed to be inevitable. The science tells a different story., The Counter.

On the Internet, We’re Always Famous, The New Yorker.

I Canceled My Birthday Party Because of Omicron, The Atlantic.

How Coffin Flop’s Coffins Got Flopped, Vulture.

It Is Unconscionable That The Gay Community Has Ostracized Me Simply Because I Was Born A Cop, Defector.

And the thing I’m personally most proud of from 2021: Shantay, You Pay: Inside the Heavy Financial Burden of Going On ‘Drag Race’. 🎆

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Tomatoes!

I’ve had tomatoes on my mind since a friend shared this New Yorker cartoon that has the caption, “Summer’s here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?”

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A post shared by The New Yorker (@newyorkermag)

While I don’t truly love tomatoes like some people do, I realized there’s a handful of tomato-centric recipes that I really like, and that I figured are worth re-upping as tomato season approaches!

First, there’s this Claire Lower/Lifehacker post that is nothing short of life-changing: Marinate Your Tomatoes for Extra Flavorful BLTs. I can’t say with 100% confidence that this will make even tomato-haters like tomatoes, but I do think if you’re not, like, actively repulsed by tomatoes, this marinade might be enough to get you to a place of real enjoyment. I made a batch of these last night and even though the tomatoes I got aren’t even that good, they were still great! (I’m extra thrilled because I just bought a bottle of the much-loved Kewpie mayo, making these BLTs even more special.)

Next, up: Nora Ephron’s tomato sauce, via Kelsey Miller/A Cup of Jo. After I read this for the first time, I went on a farmers market trek to find the perfect tomatoes, and when I finally secured them and made the recipe, it did not disappoint. I’m looking forward to making this one in August…it’s not time just yet.

Moving on to cherry tomatoes…I love the roasted tomato, feta, and chickpea mix in this recipe.

Finally, if you can’t choose between tomatoes or corn, I humbly suggest NYT Cooking’s summer shrimp scampi with tomatoes and corn. We use canned corn for this, and have made it without the shrimp on several occasions, and always get great results. 🍅

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The best things I published in 2020

Photo of laptop by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

As the year comes to an end, I wanted to share some of the work I’m most proud of! Here are some of my faves:

• The Answer to All Your Social Distancing Loophole Questions Is No

• A Beginner's Guide for 'Straight' Women Who Want to Act on Queer Feelings

• How to Talk to Relatives Who Care More About Looting Than Black Lives

• Self-Care Tips for Black People Who Are Really Going Through It Right Now

• 'RHOP' and the Hypocrisy of 'Your Behavior Is Bad for Black Women'

• 11 Tiny Pride Floats to Help You Celebrate This Year

• If You’re Already Dreading Winter, Here Are Some Small Ways to Prepare Now

• Love/Hate Reads: 'He's Just Not That Into You,' Revisited

And my book! 💻

Earlier: The best things I read in 2020.

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The best things I read in 2020

Photo of phone by Mel Poole on Unsplash

In my mind, I read very little this year besides news articles, tweets, and Notes app apologies from canceled girl bosses. But when I checked my “best of 2020” tag in Pocket over the weekend, I was surprised/happy to discover that I actually read quite a bit of good shit on the internet this year! So here, in no particular order, are my 2020 favorites:

This Is Not the Apocalypse You Were Looking For, Wired.

Do DC Renters Who Are Evicted Know About Their Court Dates?, DCist.

‘I apologize to God for feeling this way.’, Washington Post.

The Soft Butch That Couldn’t (Or: I Got COVID-19 in March and Never Got Better), Autostraddle.

Coronavirus, Charity, and the Trolley Problem, Crooked Media.

The N95 shortage America can’t seem to fix, Washington Post.

A Failure, But Not Of Prediction, Slate Star Codex.

What Did Emile Weaver Know?, ELLE.
Content note: this is a pretty harrowing article about the death of a newborn.

Tear Gas Doesn’t Deploy Itself, The New Republic.

You Want a Confederate Monument? My Body Is a Confederate Monument, The New York Times.

My Mustache, My Self, NYT Magazine.

The Consequences of Your Actions, Design Mom.

The Darkness Where the Future Should Be, The New York Times.

How hard will the robots make us work?, The Verge.

Eating for Two, The Cut.

Learning to Swim Taught Me More Than I Bargained For, NYT Magazine.

Applying for Unemployment Is My New Full-Time Job, The Cut.

How Salon Shutdowns Are Disrupting Black Women's Haircare, Jezebel.

Dear Fuck-Up: My Close Friend Is Being Radicalized On the Internet and I Don’t Know What to Do, Jezebel.

Apparently, I’m Too Fat to Ski, The Cut.

The very real, totally bizarre bucatini shortage of 2020, Grub Street. ✨

Also: The best things I published in 2020.

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This tinsel is a pretty good way to spend $15

One of the unexpected winners of the at-home birthday celebration I threw for my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago was the pack of metallic tinsely curtains ($15.99 for two silver and two gold on Amazon) I bought.

Each curtain is approximately the width of a door and fairly long/tall, with a horizontal adhesive strip at the top; I put three over the window/door to the terrace, and one over the bedroom door, and they genuinely made the space feel different and celebratory.

In fact, we liked them so much that we got a second pack to use for the “office holiday party” that we had on Tuesday night.

The curtains flutter and reflect light in a really nice way, and you actually don’t need to do anything else to make them shine. But if you want to take things up a notch, you could turn on a mini LED party light. (We used the one that came in a company swag bag my girlfriend received a couple of months ago, but you can get a similar one for $16.99 on Amazon.)

Even though you can see some window showing behind the curtains in these photos, they look great and plenty thick IRL. (But if you wanted to make them appear thicker, you could easily double them up.)

We also kept them up for our “supercouch” (aka air mattress inflated in front of the couch) movie day.

I was pleasantly surprised by how much delight/novelty the curtains provided; in this bleak year, it’s always nice when a small thing actually helps quite a bit. If you’re a New Year’s Eve person and want to do something to mark the occasion while also being safe, or if someone in your household has a birthday coming up, these are totally worth it.

Get the gold and silver four-pack from Amazon for $15.99. (They also come in a bunch of other colors, like this pretty rose gold.) ✨

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This is the only store-bought hot chocolate mix I recognize

After trying a bunch of store-bought hot chocolate mixes last year and being extremely disappointed by all of them, my gf and I finally came across one that we ended up loving: Lake Champlain traditional hot chocolate mix.

I meant to write about it at the time, but never got around to it — and then remembered yesterday, when I came across the pics on my phone. It’s just, like, a perfect classic hot chocolate that you make with hot milk.

We discovered it at Whole Foods, but ordered more directly from the Lake Champlain website (where it’s $13 for 16 ounces). It’s also available from Amazon ($14.22 for 16 ounces).

And if you want to make something from scratch, my friend Jess’s hot chocolate recipe has been my go-to for years! I’ve actually got plans to make it (minus the booze, because I can currently only handle a thimble full of liquor) this weekend. ☃️

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The beginner's guide to Bravo

Terri is back, y’all! She sent all of the below info to me in a Google Doc several months ago, and has now generously agreed to share it here. My girlfriend and I took Terri’s advice and started with Real Housewives of Potomac, which is great; the women are very funny and their lives are fairly interesting (especially compared to, say, the women on Beverly Hills), and the show is well-produced and well-edited. Now that we’re caught up on RHOP, we’ve moved onto RHONY, and I find myself saying, “What…is…Ramona Singer’s…DEAL???” at least once a day. I’m loving it! Anyway, with everything going on in the world right now, I gotta say… watching Bravo (and discussing the shows at length with my gf/talking about all of this with our friends) has been helping. —Rachel

There are some cultural institutions so deeply embedded into my brain and psyche that I reference or quote them daily, often without realizing — Seinfeld, Airplane!, Drop Dead Gorgeous, and, of course, the Bravo television universe. I started watching The Real Housewives of Orange County back in 2007, and have missed very few episodes of any franchise since. Sometimes, it feels like Bravo is the only TV I watch, so much so that I (unsuccessfully) tried to argue to a Spectrum cable representative that I should only have to pay for one channel as part of my cable package. Alas.

I know there’s a lot of good TV out there, but even before 2020, all I really wanted to watch was people quibbling over a stolen dress from a talk show or whether it’s OK to get a boob job from a “vagina doctor.” My deep, abiding love for the Real Housewives and their kin is such that when I started at BuzzFeed back in 2015 and was worried I wouldn’t make any coworker friends, someone told me, “Just find someone who watches Bravo and you’ll be friends.” And, reader, she was right!

Since the pandemic started, many of my friends have begun watching Bravo out of a need for addictive, low-stakes TV shows that come in mass quantities. And let me tell you, it has been thrilling to make recommendations and welcome people into the world of Bethenny Frankel and Captain Lee that I have largely lived in alone, save for my mom and sisters and some select pals. So I decided to package up those recs into a Bravo beginner viewer’s guide. Like many things, my rankings and recs are subject to change, but I feel pretty confident guiding you into the Bravoverse via this list.

Top-tier shows

Below Deck S3–present

Below Deck is my favorite, and arguably the best, show on Bravo right now. It’s like Real World, in that a group of 20/30 somethings work together and hook up a bunch, but THEN there’s a Downton Abbey upstairs/downstairs vibe going on because there are super rich people that rent the yacht they’re on, and they usually have their own drama going on. The cast changes up every season, which gives it good variety, but it’s consistently good during these seasons. Keep a special eye out for Rocky, Kyle, and of course, Kate. And Captain Lee, obviously.

Below Deck Mediterranean S2–present

Below Deck Med is basically as good as regular Below Deck, even though I personally dislike Hannah, the chief stew. But! This spinoff has Captain Sandy, a queer female yacht captain! And Season 2 is just absolutely non-stop with the drama. There was one episode I will truly never forget watching in real-time, that’s how entertaining it was.

Top Chef

A truly great reality competition show! There are a lot of seasons, so if you want specific recs, my personal favorites are S2, S6, and S17 (the most recent one, which was amazing but also an all-stars one, so you might not know a lot of the people if you’ve never watched before). I especially enjoy going to the restaurants of contestants, they’ve all been notably delicious.

Summer House

Terrible New Yorkers who rent a Hamptons house together. IDK why I’ve been captivated from the beginning, but it truly gets better every episode for me. No need to make it a priority, but I wanted to throw it in here. I think all seasons have been p entertaining, but it got especially good in S3, after a bunch of people got fired.

Southern Charm S1–S5

These first seasons are high-key art, and include, but aren’t limited to: people with exorbitant amounts of old money, a “hilbilly femme fatale,” a surprise lovechild, a no-nonsense older broad who wears caftans and has a butler… the list goes on. TW: sexual assault (off-camera, but Thomas Ravenel, a main character who has since left the show and been completely denounced, is awful), gaslighting, and a lot of plantations/glorification of the South. I don’t plan to watch the new season because 1) these people are racists, and 2) the most recent season was boring/trash. But if you can put aside how awful 95% of the cast is, watch it, it’s really entertaining.

Vanderpump Rules S1–6

Truly Shakespearean. It started as a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills spinoff, but it immediately found its legs as something entirely its own. Everyone on it is purely terrible (depraved from the beginning, but many on the cast have been revealed to be pretty awful and racist recently, so….). There is cheating, cheating with best friends, face-slapping, name-calling, and quite possibly some of the least self-aware people you’ll ever witness. It’s soapy and trashy, and just like… classic reality TV, if that’s what you want right now.

Shahs of Sunset

IDK y’all, it’s pretty problematic at times, especially recently, but the cast has truly been best friends for decades, which gives it a sense of history I really appreciate.

Now, you may notice—and be surprised by—the lack of Housewives in this must-watch/top-tier section. This is not an accident. Though they’re viewed as signature Bravo properties, they are a massive time commitment, more niche, and IMO, much more inconsistent. The shows listed here have a much lower barrier of entry and feel much more fresh, at least to me. There are Housewives seasons listed below though, if you’re interested!!

If you want Real Housewives

(Ed. note: you do!!!!)

Real Housewives of New York S3–present

There is not a bad season (or episode) in the bunch, but the action really starts in Season 3. There are fights, sure, but these women are friends and have some fun and ridiculous moments together, and some have been on for the full 12 years, so there’s some delightful character development (or deterioration) and continuity. If you’ve ever wondered how Bethenny Frankel got to be the way she is, heard of someone refer to “Scary Island,” or wondered why someone would jog IN TRAFFIC on Fifth Avenue, buckle up. Note that S3 might be a bit of a slow burn; there was a big casting upheaval after that one (for the better), and things get much more loose and fun going forward. But I think S3 is critical viewing for comparison and to get to see Bethenny before she struck out on her own.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills S1

It’s my humble (and correct) opinion that the first season was the only good one of this franchise. Content note: suicide (one of the main character’s husbands killed himself right after the season aired, probably due to what was revealed about him as a result of being on the show, which makes it a really tough rewatch). You could also tack on S2 and S3, but only if you really like S1. The other seasons really aren’t worth it. I promise.

Real Housewives of New Jersey S1–2

Confession: RHONJ has never been my favorite (too many family members fighting with each other), but S1 has a true villain in Danielle Staub, and the absolutely iconic table-flipping moment. If you want to hear someone yell “Engaged 19 times?! Prostitution whore!” then by all means, check this out.

Real Housewives of Atlanta (any season)

RHOA is a good grab ‘n go franchise; it has its ups and downs, but it’s overall pretty entertaining, with highly memorable one-liners (“Who’s gonna check me, boo?”), some great drama (a brawl at a sexy lingerie party!), and some singular stars. Any season with Phaedra is a wild one, and if you like these women (they’re a blast to watch), then jump in wherever and enjoy the ride.

Real Housewives of Potomac S2–present

I was initially attracted to this franchise because I grew up in the area, but it really picked up during S2. Some wild allegations are thrown around, and the cast has a really good dynamic now. In fact, since I first created this doc, I would elevate the entire franchise to the highest tier of housewives. The women really show their lives, get into detail with each other, and still manage to bring the entertainment. (There is literally a parrot named T’Challa on the most recent season, and his contributions to the episodes cannot be understated.) If you watch, feel free to skip S1 (and go back to watch it to compare once you’re finished with your binge).

Honorable mentions

Million Dollar Listing: LA and New York

I like both cities equally. In LA, you get campy Josh Flagg (and in earlier seasons, his wonderful grandma), Josh Altman (blech) and Heather’s romance, giant LA estates, some celeb cameos, and some real cutthroat competition. In New York, you get my love Ryan Serhant, kooky Fredrik Eklund, a peek into some wildly overpriced New York City apartments, and also some cutthroat competition. It’s as much about their interpersonal and personal dramas as it is about real estate, and I love it! You could start from the beginning—I actually don’t think I ever watched the first few seasons of either franchise, so it doesn’t matter—or you can jump in around S3/S4 and still enjoy it.

Family Karma

This is the newest of the bunch; there’s only been one season and it aired this spring. I loved it! It follows a bunch of 20- and 30- something Indian Americans living in Florida AND their parents, and the parents have maybe even better drama than their kids. I really really hope they’re able to film another season, I am invested in these people.

Real Housewives of Melbourne

IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND!!! But if you can, watch it. I’ve only been able to see the first 3–4 seasons and was obsessed, but then they stopped airing it in the US and I’ve been sad ever since.

Real Housewives of Dallas

They’re racist, Trump-supporting assholes, but there were some real unhinged highlights in S2 and S3, if you can stomach it.

Bonus: Canceled Shows I Love

• Bethenny Getting Married/Ever After

• Ladies of London

• NYC Prep

• Millionaire Matchmaker

• Old seasons of Project Runway, pre-move to Lifetime (it’s been meh ever since it came back to Bravo)

• ***my mom dearly misses Princesses: Long Island, but I never watched it. Threw it in here anyway since she’s a real Bravo fan. 📺

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Unscented taper candles? Unscented taper candles!!!

When it comes to making purchases in an attempt to stave off existential dread, candles are at the top of my list — which is actually kind of a new thing for me! It all started when my girlfriend traveled to Sweden for work in early February. In addition to discovering that Swedish McDonald’s is called “McDonken,” and offers “Donken Deals” and “Donken Meals,” she learned a lot about great lighting.

Norrmalms Elektriska in Stockholm

Here’s what she had to say about all of this:  

“I visited Stockholm in February and learned that because it’s fairly far north, you experience regular early-afternoon darkness. Evidently, the shortest days are around six hours, and as you go further north, it’s basically dark around the clock. My guess is that because it gets so cold and dark there, Swedes have become experts in cozy, ephemeral lighting. (See also: hygge.) Even public street lamps were beautiful — soft, glowy orbs. 

In addition to beautiful lamps — think: mushroom lamps and paper lantern orbs — unscented taper candles and candlestick holders were ubiquitous and inexpensive. The candles were widely available in really lovely colors, most notably soft pastels. While I was there, I visited Lagerhaus (basically a cooler, leveled-up Bed Bath & Beyond) and bought as many candles as I could fit in my suitcase. When I got back home, I was reluctant to burn the candles; as far as I can tell, Lagerhaus doesn’t ship to the U.S., and I knew that once my supply ran out, that would be it.

A month or two later, I was browsing the website of Shop Sounds, a Park Slope boutique, and realized they sold colorful, unscented tapers. I bought two 6” pairs, at $6 a set. When I tried to buy more later, they were sold out, so I wanted to figure out if any other retailers carried them. 

Boutiques like this will typically name the designer of each item, but these particular candles were conspicuously missing a designer. Still, the website description offered one clue: ‘Designed and made in Rockport, Maine.’ So, I did a bit of Googling and discovered Danica Design Candles — a candle company based in West Rockport, Maine.

Don’t let their website fool you; the tapers are beautiful, come in tons of colors, and ship super quickly. Not only were we able to order the candles directly from them, in even more colors, they were significantly cheaper: $3 per pair vs. $6. So we ordered a bunch, and, because they were less expensive/easily replaced, started burning them every evening just...because. A new duvet o’clock, basically.” 

The Danica candles are available in several sizes, but we buy either the 6” tapers ($15.50 for a box of 10) and 9” tapers ($18.50 per box of 10). I like the look of the longer ones better, but the smaller ones tend to be a better fit for a lot of candle holders. 

Unscented taper candles were a revelation for me; I’m pretty sensitive to fragrances, so I can’t burn scented candles for very long/too near where I’m hanging out, and I avoid strong candles entirely. And because I was used to jar candles, I had always viewed them as something you do for fragrance/mood first and foremost versus something you do for decor. (While some candles, like Totem and Goober, are obviously decor, I would be less likely to burn them because I wouldn’t want to ruin the shapes.) But because unscented tapers are so elegant and the colors are so lovely, I see them more as a really beautiful decorative item and a way to create a mood. (They are also a pretty good source of light! Imagine that!) And because they don’t have a fragrance, you can light a bunch at once and let them burn for a few hours without getting a migraine. 

I’m also really loving unscented tapers as an (inexpensive) way to decorate for different seasons; this summer, we bought brighter colors (like maize, peach, and antique rose), and are now moving into fall colors (like pewter, honey, willow, bordeaux, and black). Last month, I ordered a bunch of boxes of Danica candles and shipped them to friends as part of a fall care package. (Shout out to my postal scale!) Here’s how our friends Tom and Danny styled the bordeaux tapers we sent them:

Image: @tomgvellner

Taper inspiration

My girlfriend and I follow a bunch of Scandinavian home accounts, and taper candles show up there pretty regularly. Some inspo: 

Image: @danicachloedk

Image: @mariaharmuth

Image: @frollein_herr

Image: @frollein_herr

Image: @cathdelichtenberg

Image: @cathdelichtenberg

Image: @aylagurganus

Image: @cathdelichtenberg

Image: @mosebacke

Image: @mosebacke

Other good taper candles

While I mostly stick to Danica’s tapers, I’ve expanded a little bit here and there in the past few months; I bought an ombré taper set from Urban and recently got two Frau Gold ombré tapers from Casa Ziki. The other ones I’m really excited about are these spiral candles from Kiosk48th; the colors are amazing and I love the glossy finish.

Image: Kiosk48th

While those particular ones are currently sold out, I’m seeing similar candles pop up at a lot of other retailers, and Etsy has a ton of not-quiiiite-the-same-but-still-nice twists too.

Taper holders

You’ll need something to put the tapers in, but taper holders are fairly plentiful in bigger retailers, at thrift and vintage stores, and on Etsy. We’ve collected a bunch over the past few months; here are some shopping recs: 

• We recently bought a couple $4.99 IKEA godtagbar candle holders, which are great — inexpensive, and built to catch dripping wax

• Urban Outfitters has lots of cute options, though the specific ones I have are no longer available

• Target has really nice, straightforward taper holders

• Blue and white wedding china–esque holders are plentiful on Etsy and look lovely mixed in with other, more modern, candle holders

• I ordered this splurgey Hübsch metal candle holder this summer, and Førmprojekt has other options in a range of prices

• I love Kiosk48th’s home goods, and their vintage section often has cool candelabras; I bought one that looks like this a few months ago

• Flying Tiger, which is based in Denmark but has stores in the New York area, has tons of unscented candles and candle holders, so I’m excited to be able to shop there again...someday

• A few days after I looked at tons of vintage red wooden candle holders in this style on Etsy, thinking it would be nice to get one for Christmas, my friend Caroline — who had no idea I had been looking at these! — was randomly like, “Hey I thrifted a candelabra that I think you guys would like, I’m going to ship it to you!” and it turned out to be a red wooden candelabra in the exact same style! Thrilling! 

Oh and Hay makes storage bins ($6–$10 from MoMA Design Store) that are a great way to store your growing candle collection!

The thing I really like about the Danica taper candles is that they have forced me to stop being precious about beautiful but ultimately fleeting items. I’ve certainly been guilty of saving things like candles and face masks and journals for some “special” future use, to the point that I don’t actually ever let myself enjoy them. It’s been nice to buy these candles and give myself permission to actually burn them just for the hell of it. 🕯

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Extremely good shit: IKEA Fado lamp

IKEA Lisabo side table, Mimi Ceramics planter, Poketo coaster

As the days get shorter and we prepare for a long winter at home, I’m getting very into lighting! I come to you with two strong recs in this department: unscented taper candles, and, today, the $25 IKEA Fado lamp.

I cannot say enough good things about this lamp, which my girlfriend brought into my life last year. It looks so nice and creates a soft, glowy, warm, cozy light. It also really pulls its weight, brightening up dark spaces without being too harsh.

It was actually impossible to get the Fado in Brooklyn for a while this spring/summer, but I kept checking the website regularly and they eventually returned — so we were able to buy two more, bringing our total to four (two in the living room, two in the bedroom). Other friends have mentioned the same thing happening in other cities recently, but they were also able to get them eventually, so don’t give up if it appears to be out of stock where you live.

The Fado comes with a perfectly good bulb, but if you want to take it to the next level, I recommend the Yeelight multicolor smart LED bulb ($32.99 on Amazon). We have two of these, and have been really happy with them. You can use the app that goes with it to choose the exact shade of white and brightness you want, and/or easily turn the bulb whatever color you want. (My friend Devin sold me on this idea, and now I’m very into it, especially for movie nights. I recommend a pink shade, personally.)

Other lighting-related odds and ends:

• While poking around Tradera (a Swedish version of eBay) this summer, my gf came across the IKEA Lykta lamp, which they no longer produce. It originally came in a bunch of colors; we tracked down a Barbie–fuchsia one on eBay, and absolutely love it. While the color is fairly aggro, it’s balanced by the fact that the lamp is so small. And when it’s on, it looks very much like the wax in a lava lamp, mid-bloop. It’s very flirty!!!

• The Room Essentials G40 clear globes from Target ($12 for a 20-ct. string) are my all-time favorite indoor/outdoor string lights.

• Good floor lamps are hard to find, but Article now has an orb floor lamp (floorb?) that looks pretty nice.

• I’m into IKEA's $12 Tokabo table lamp, which seems like it might be the new Lykta. The lamp’s designer said, “I see TOKABO table lamp as a cute little friend who fits anywhere, on the smallest shelf or table top.” A cute little friend!!! I love it. 💡

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Important: pumpkin butterscotch cookies

Now that we’re all simply proceeding as though it’s fall, outside temperature be damned, it seems like a great time to re-up this old recipe, which is so goddamn good. I posted it to my old old blog when I was living in Texas many moons ago, and then to my old blog in 2017…and now I’m posting it here, because it’s that important! (I *believe* I got it from the Libby’s Pumpkin website way back when, but I’m not 100% sure.)

The cookies are a big hit every time I make them, and while I typically bake them in October as a Halloween treat, they’re also great for Friendsgiving/Thanksgiving/whatever (in normal years).

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 and 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 eggs

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup canola or corn oil

1 cup canned pumpkin

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup butterscotch chips

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.
   

2. Stir the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon together in a medium bowl and set aside.
   

3. In a large bowl, beat the eggs and sugar together with an electric mixer.
   

4. Add the oil, pumpkin, and vanilla and mix until blended. It will turn the color of Halloween and smell like cake batter.
   

5. Add the flour mixture slowly, until it is thoroughly blended, and the batter is thick.
   

6. Stir in the butterscotch morsels.
   

7. Line two baking sheets with wax paper and spray with cooking spray (or just use a silicone baking mat).
   

8. Using a small spoon, scoop globs (there’s no other word for it — you’ll understand if you make them) of the dough onto the lined sheets. ***Do not make the rounds too big! I did that at first, and ended up with massive pumpkin pillows. It still happens to be occasionally. Try to keep them neat and cute.***
   

9. Bake the cookies one sheet at a time until the tops feel firm and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out dry, about 16 minutes.
   

10. Cool the cookies on the baking sheet for five minutes, then use a wide metal spatula to transfer them to a wire rack to cool completely. 🍁

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The best things to do with your mom when she visits NYC

I have a treat for you today: Terri is back! This post was borne out of a conversation I was having with a few coworkers about things to do with moms when they visit NYC. My main contribution was “I just ask my friend Terri” because it’s true — she’s truly the best when it comes to NYC recommendations. My coworkers immediately clamored for Terri’s list of mom recs. (“Terri, drop the album” is an exact quote.) She graciously obliged, which brings us to this list! —Rachel

Photo: Callum Chapman on Unsplash

My mom likes to visit New York. A lot. She was born and raised in Brooklyn, and two of her daughters and two grandchildren live here, so yeah, you could say she’s a New York stan. To be honest, I think she’d be perfectly content if every visit consisted of nonstop bonding time with her daughters and grandsons, punctuated by a few visits to Bloomingdale’s and more than a few plates of chicken parm. But! I love activities, and I love my mom, so I find distinct joy in thinking of new, fun things to do with her that make her say, “New York has changed so much since I left, I love it! Do you want a Twizzler?”

If your mom is planning a visit to New York, you may be wondering what to do with her that isn’t too touristy (or too fussy), but still feels fun and special. Luckily, I have a large data sample, and I’m not afraid to show it. Here are some favorites — you could easily apply these activities to any family member or friend that’s visiting, but know that these have the Carol Pous seal of approval: 

1. Go to Governor's Island.

   I love Governor’s Island, and so did my mom when I took her there (my dad did too, FWIW). It’s a cheap ferry ride to get there, and on a nice day, you get incredible views of the city, lots of places to bike around (get a got-dang SURREY if you know what’s good for you), food trucks, historical buildings, and usually some kind of fun event — they do the Jazz Age Lawn Festival there. Do it!!!!

2. Stroll along the Dumbo riverfront (aka Brooklyn Bridge Park).

   This is perfect for a nice day. You can see the carousel and an amazing view of Lower Manhattan, walk around the really nice waterfront and surrounding neighborhood, and eat at the new Time Out Market, which has a ton of popular New York spots and a rooftop that looks right out onto Brooklyn Bridge.

3. Visit the Tenement Museum.

   This is less of a museum, and more of an experience, but if you want something really powerful and meaningful to do, this is it. You can choose from several different stories (Irish immigrants, Jewish immigrants, Puerto Rican immigrants, Chinese immigrants, etc.) and then go inside the actual places where they lived and worked. You have to book at least a few days in advance, but it’s so worth it, especially if your mom loves history and family stories. I’ve also done the Lower East Side food tour through the museum, and I highly, highly recommend it.

4. Eat dessert.

   Do this literally anywhere?? Veniero’s and Ferrara’s are classic, old-school Italian bakeries where you can sit down and have a little coffee and some ‘zerts. I also like Serendipity, Caffe Panna, and Two Little Red Hens.

5. Go to Bloomingdale’s.

   Are there three Bloomingdale’s within a 10-minute drive of my parents’ house? Yes. Is this still my mom’s number-one favorite thing to do in the city? Also yes. It’s a New York institution, and I think my mom loves Bloomie’s so much because growing up, she couldn’t afford to shop there, so now it’s a never-ending treat that she can partake in while also eating a Magnolia cupcake (because of course there’s a Magnolia Bakery in a department store).

   However, I highly recommend skipping Magnolia and instead stopping by 40 Carats on the seventh floor, kind of hidden near the linens — you can get the delicious fro-yo in the to-go line, or you can do what my mom and I do, which is have a full sit-down lunch (I recommend the carrot soup, the pretzel bread, the three-salad combo, and any special that comes with a side of fro-yo). Overall, Bloomie’s is almost more of an activity than a shopping spot. Although there is some great shopping there, too.

6. Go to the Met.

   I mean, duh. Every visitor should go to the Met — it’s great. My mom particularly loves the Costume Institute exhibits, but the Met has everything from Egyptian artifacts to an entire Frank Lloyd Wright living room. There is something for every mom!

7. Eat a “cute” brunch.

   My mom loves doing “special things with her girls” (I have three sisters), and cute brunches are pretty high up there. Any place will do, but some tried-and-tested favorites are Friend of a Farmer, Friedman’s, Sadelle's, Westville, and Bluebell Cafe.

8. And go to a cozy dinner.

   The same cute brunch rule applies to cozy dinners. Some favorites that really play into the cozy factor are Supper (get the chicken parm and the hazelnut panna cotta) and Cafe Katja (get the Austrian meatballs).

9. Walk around the Union Square Farmers Market.

   We rarely buy anything, but there’s great people watching (big plus for Carol), and there are usually free samples (even bigger plus for Carol). 

10. Shop on Fifth Avenue by Flatiron.

    If you and mom want to go shopping, and it’s also a nice day out, this is your best bet. It doesn’t get slammed with tourists like Soho, but it has almost the exact same stores (Gap, J. Crew, Madewell, Anthro, Zara, H&M). Plus, you can walk over to Madison Square Park after and get Shake Shack and people watch.

11. Hang in Central Park.

    You already knew this, but it really doesn’t disappoint. Spread out a blanket in Sheep Meadow, bring some bagels from Ess a Bagel/Brooklyn Bagel Cafe/Murray’s/Zucker’s, sneak in some wine, and sit and watch the world go by.

12. Walk on the High Line to the Whitney or the Vessel/Hudson Yards.

    I know, I know, I said these weren’t touristy ideas, but I low-key love the High Line when it isn’t wall-to-wall people. I like sitting on one of the lounge chair thingies or walking from one end to the other; it’s just a great, scenic activity. Chelsea Market is also a really great place to stop along the way (go to Cull and Pistol and get anything with seafood).

13. See a Broadway show.

    But if you want to get cheap tickets, go to the TKTS line in Lincoln Center or South Street Seaport (not Times Square). The TodayTix app and Stubhub are also faves for getting last-minute discounts. [Rachel’s note: Every season, I just wait for Terri to tell me which show to take my mom to and her rec is always correct. My mom loved Something Rotten and The Prom. On her next visit, we’re seeing Derren Brown’s Secret.]

14. Take a ferry ride!

    You can do the whole shebang and on a proper Circle Line tour, or you can pay $2.75 and take the NYC Ferry. (Either to go to a destination or just to be on a boat for a bit — it’s very nice up top.)

15. Check out Ellis Island/Statue of Liberty.

    Again, this is kind of an obvious one, but worth mentioning. (The ticket includes both locations). If you want to save money, the Staten Island Ferry is free, and offers great views of the Statue of Liberty as you sail by. 

16. And take in the botanical gardens.

    Pick with either the New York Botanical Gardens in the Bronx, or the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. They’re lovely when the cherry blossoms are in bloom, and NYBG does some awesome exhibits like the Chihuly installation, but you can’t go wrong with either. I am freaky for botanical gardens!!!!

Thanks, Terri! By the way, here are my personal recs for moms (or really any out of town visitors): Brooklyn Flea; The New York Transit Museum (which was originally a Terri rec); the Staten Island Ferry; shopping at Flying Tiger, Fishs Eddy, and Books Are Magic; walking the Brooklyn Bridge; brunch at Miriam; and any food hall type places (like Smorgasburg, Chelsea Market, or City Point). I also recommend just hosting a house party/inviting your friends to come over to hang out/eat/drink/play games with you and your mom. —RWM ✨

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Here are all of my all-time favorite podcast episodes

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

I recently realized that you can make Spotify playlists for podcasts, which was (great!) news to me. This is so practical, particularly if you want to easily save new podcast recs from friends, or collect/download a bunch of podcasts before, say, a long trip.

After learning this, I decided to put all of my favorite podcast episodes in a single playlist. I believe Terri — who has very good taste in podcasts — turned me onto the fact that episode recommendations tend to be more useful than general podcast recs, and I now have a running list of the ones I love and recommend to friends again and again.

Here are my favorite episodes, in no particular order!

Annnd if you don’t use Spotify, here’s the full list:

1. Phonology with Nicole Holliday, Ologies.

2. The Architect of Hollywood, 99% Invisible. (An excellent Terri rec!)

3. Food Fight, Revisionist History.

4. My Little Hundred Million, Revisionist History.

5. Michael Pollan: Conscious Eating, Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations.

6. Tushy, The Pitch.

7. Oprah, The Goop Podcast.

8. Miss Buchanan’s Period of Adjustment, Revisionist History.

9. We Talk BeyChella, Still Processing.

10. Sounds Natural, 99% invisible. (Another Terri rec; she knows all the best 99PI eps actually.)

11. Gabrielle Union Is Fed Up, Death, Sex, and Money.

12. Hoodies Up, 30 for 30.

13. Return to Ring of Keys, Nancy.

14. Cellies, Ear Hustle.

15. The Pentagon's Secret Gaggle of Gays, Nancy.

16. The O.J. Simpson Trial: Nicole Brown Simpson Part 1, You’re Wrong About.

17. Egyptology with Kara Cooney, Ologies.

While I was at it, I also made a playlist of all the podcast episodes that I’ve been on, if you’re interested!

The list:

1. Episode 27: Uniform Factor with Rachel Wilkerson Miller, Forever35

2. Episode 69: The Life-Changing Magic of Listening to Rachel, Another Round

3. How to Show Up, The Nod

4. Make New Friends (And Keep Them), NPR Life Kit

5. When Friendships Change, How To Cope, NPR Life Kit

6. The Surprising Benefits of Journaling, Stuff Mom Never Told You

7. How Am I Supposed to Make Friends?, Real Simple Adulthood Made Easy

8. 023 | Rachel Wilkerson Miller, Day in the Life

I may eventually get motivated enough to make themed podcast playlists, but I also don’t want to overpromise here. Regardless, I’ll continue update these playlists with new episodes as they come up (in case you’d like to follow them)! ✨

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Extremely good shit: McLeod Farms peaches

As you may know, I’m not a fan of summer. But one way I’ve been making it more bearable in recent years is by ordering a box of peaches from McLeod Farms, a South Carolina operation that came on my radar several years ago when I lived in Houston.

These peaches are awesome in the dictionary-definition sense of the word. So juicy, so fragrant, so special. Every bit of them detaches from the pit so easily and cleanly, it’s genuinely remarkable. Getting a box of them delivered has become one of the highlights of my summer.

But you don’t have to take my word for it! Here are some of the things my friends have had to say about them:

“This is truly the best peach I’ve ever eaten.”

“I should have eaten that in the bathtub.”

“That was obscene.”

“I should not have eaten that in public.” (I heard this more than once!)

The peaches go on sale every year in the late spring. They are sold by the box; you can either buy a box of 14 (for $48) or a box of 28 (for $78), and when you order, you select the week you want them delivered. (They ship in June, July, and August. Also, shipping to NYC is free, but I’m not sure if that’s the case everywhere.)

These peaches aren’t cheap, which is, for me, part of what makes them so special; I make a point to really savor them (I always try to enjoy at least one while sitting outside), and to share them with friends who will appreciate them.

Oprah once said* something to the effect of “you can find God in a perfectly ripe tomato,” and I think about this whenever I eat one of these peaches. (And, yes, then I obviously have a minor existential crisis about climate change and my own mortality. It happens at the beach, too! Summer is great!!!) They are just…sublime.

*I am fairly certain it was on the final page of an issue of O Magazine that I read like a decade ago, but I have never been able to track down the exact quote, so this could be entirely made-up!!! But if Oprah didn’t say it, then I will: You can find God in a perfectly ripe summer fruit. ✨

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Extremely good shit: this chickpea pasta recipe

Photo: Smitten Kitchen

Much like I believe in wearing the same clothes all the time, I am big on figuring out a few recipes that work for me and making them over and over and over again. This chickpea pasta recipe is one such recipe. It’s filling, it’s nourishing, it’s inexpensive (seriously, my grocery bill dropped considerably after I started making this several nights a week), it’s fast/easy, it warms up well the next day, it’s vegetarian and dairy-free (if you’re into that sort of thing), and you can basically always have the ingredients available to be able to make it. (More on that in a moment.) I’ve recommended it to so many people, and they’re all believers now.

If/when you’re ready to join the Cult of CPP, here are some tips I’ve found for making it even easier to make.

• Don't skip the finishing oil; that's where all the flavor is!

• Cut/measure/prep all the ingredients before you start cooking. There aren’t very many ingredients, so it’s mostly a matter of doing things like opening a can of chickpeas, draining, and rinsing them; crushing a couple of garlic cloves; and measuring out pasta and tomato paste. The reason I suggest doing this is because once you start making it, everything moves very fast, and you won't really have time to do those things while the food is cooking like you might with other recipes.

• Instead of chopping fresh rosemary for the finishing oil every time you make it, you can chop a bunch of rosemary at once and then freeze it in individual portions olive oil cubes. I freeze the teaspoon of fresh rosemary in 1 and ½ tablespoons of olive oil — because that’s what my ice cube trays can hold — and then add the additional ½ tablespoon of olive oil when I’m making the recipe. I pop out a cube when I start making the recipe, and by the time I’m ready to make the finishing oil, it’s basically thawed. Using the rosemary cubes is so convenient and it means that I’m both less likely to waste extra rosemary and more likely to have the ingredients I need on hand all the time.

• You can actually freeze the tomato paste in individual servings too. (In general, freezing extra tomato paste is a good move because so rarely do you need the entire can!) It’s not like opening a can of tomato paste, measuring some out, washing the tablespoon, and rinsing the can/peeling off the label for the recycling bin is oppressive or anything...but it’s also a step I’d rather not fuck with every time if I don’t have to.

• If you’re feeling really motivated and meal-preppy, you could transfer the pasta to a Mason jar with measurement marks on the side so you don’t have to pour it into a measuring cup each time you’re making it.

This recipe is truly so great; it’s right up there with the perfect chicken in terms of how much I love it and how often I recommend it.

Get the recipe: Quick pasta and chickpeas, Smitten Kitchen. 🍝

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The perfect chicken recipe

When I think of what “just good shit” means to me, I think of the perfect chicken recipe. I discovered it on Pinterest several years ago (via a really janky photo, the source for which is no longer available and hasn’t been for years). Before I found this recipe, I was basically afraid of cooking chicken. But this recipe truly is perfect; the chicken always cooks all the way through (even when the chicken breasts are way too thick to be anything but weirdo genetically engineered chicken breasts because no HEN has titties like that, I’m sorry) and is incredibly juicy and flavorful.

The perfect chicken recipe consists of two things: a five-ingredient spice blend and a cooking method. I usually eat it on salads or with a side of roasted vegetables and potatoes, but if ever I need chicken for another recipe, this is the recipe I use.

The recipe below is for a single serving of the spice mix, but these days, I make it in bigger batches (combining ~6 tablespoons of each spice) and store the blend in a container in my pantry.

Ingredients

• 1 lb. chicken breasts

• 1/2 tsp salt

• 1/2 tsp pepper

• 1/2 tsp garlic powder

• 1/2 tsp onion powder

• 1/2 tsp paprika

• 1-2 tbsp olive oil
  

Preparation

1. Preheat the oven to 350.

2. Combine spices in a small bowl, then sprinkle over both sides of the chicken breasts, rubbing in to coat. (Note: When I’m adding the spice blend from my big pantry jar, I just eyeball how much I'm sprinkling on each side, and I tend to season pretty heavily. Bland food is bland! Don't be part of the problem!)

3. Add olive oil to the bottom of a Dutch oven or oven-proof pan and cook the chicken over medium-high heat for 3-4 minutes per side.

4. Put the pan uncovered into oven and cook for 25 minutes.

5. Let the chicken rest 5-10 minutes before serving.

Note: I've used the cooking method with other spices/recipes, and the technique works nicely with those too, but I like this spice blend the best! 🍗

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