Just Good Shit: 04.19.20

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi, friends! Here’s what I had going on this week…

On the blog

Writing

Also, the one and only Captain Awkward gave that post a great “Yes and” over on her blog that’s also worth your time!

Reading

A Failure, But Not Of Prediction, Slate Star Codex.

After Social Distancing, a Strange Purgatory Awaits, The Atlantic.

Our Pandemic Summer, The Atlantic.

Why millions of college students and young adults won’t get a stimulus check, Vox.

Sorry, We Did Not All Get and Recover From COVID-19 This Winter, Lifehacker.

30 Non-Boring Things to Do With a Crush or Partner While Stuck at Home, VICE.
LOVED this list. (And you could do a lot of these things with anyone.)

Leftover AIDS Memorial Quilt Fabric Is Being Sewn Into Face Masks, them.

Love to Hate Women, Kate Harding.

How Readers Around the World Mapped Life Under Lockdown, CityLab.

Sitting on the Couch Is My New Favorite Hobby, The Cut.

Eating

On Friday — inspired by the “30 Non-Boring Things to Do With a Crush or Partner” list I linked to above — my girlfriend got a ton of Saraghina baked goods delivered as a surprise/treat for me. And I got a ton of ground beef delivered as a surprise/treat for her, so we were able to make taco soup. It fucking rocked.

Have a good Sunday night! 🥖

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Duvet o'clock

duvet o clock.JPG

For the past month or so, my girlfriend and I have been throwing an old quilt over the duvet to turn the “office” back into an apartment when we’re done working. The quilt is not particularly stylish, but it’s really cozy, with a distinct pink and yellow pattern that looks extra warm in the lamplight. I have a phone alarm set to go off every weekday at 6 p.m. so we don’t put off duvet o’clock (or work too late). After we put on the duvet and reset all the pillows, we change from day soft clothes into evening soft clothes. Then we move her computer monitor from the desk to a TV tray we set up at the end corner of the bed so we can watch anything we’re streaming on a bigger screen.

Between the quilt and the “television,” the apartment feels really different in our off hours — it has a “my mom made my bedroom extra cozy for me while I’m home sick” meets a “we’re rearranging the living room for a sleepover” vibe.

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Just Good Shit: 04.12.20

Just Good Shit: 04.05.20

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi, all. Here’s what I was up to this week when I wasn’t FaceTiming with friends, playing Animal Crossing, or eating (incredibly delicious!!!) PB&Js on white Wonder Bread…

On the blog

Writing

Also, VICE Life launched How to Stay In, to make it a little easier to find all of the coronavirus-related service journalism that teams across editorial have been putting out for the past month.

And I was on this week’s episode of Gee Thanks, Just Bought It.

Reading

This Is Not the Apocalypse You Were Looking For, Wired.
This essay is really good; I loved the last few lines.

#1260: “How to maintain boundaries within stressful family relationships during COVID-19 lockdown?”, Captain Awkward.

What to Do if You're Isolated With an Abuser During the Coronavirus Crisis, Teen Vogue.

Please Stop Telling People They’re Overreacting, SELF.

13 Essential Workers Describe What Their Lives Are Like Right Now, VICE.

Is That Nostalgia You’re Feeling?, The Atlantic.

Self-Quarantine Is No Time for an Instagram-Ready Kitchen, The New York Times.

You’re single. You live alone. Are you allowed to have a coronavirus buddy?, Vox.

You Don’t Have to Be on a Diet Right Now, Eater.

Being Single Really, Really Sucks Right Now, ÂĄHola Papi!.

No One Should Worry About Working Out Right Now, VICE.

The Healing Power of ‘Steven Universe’, The New York Times.

“Love Letter” (a short story by George Saunders), The New Yorker.

The devastating detail hiding in the French grammar of Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Vox.

Paul McCallion’s Drag Race recaps on Vulture.

Maris Kreizman’s list of good books that don’t require your whole brain.

17 Canned Tuna Recipes for a Winner-Winner Pantry Dinner, Food52.

How Long Can You Wear Sweatpants Without Washing Them?, Bustle.

“Oh My God, I Miss Meeting Someone I Hate”, Delirium.

Watching

My gf and I have been watching any and every permutation of Trixie Mattel and Katya’s show. Some highlights: Drag Queens Trixie Mattel and Katya React to The Circle; TM & Katya React to Sex, Explained; and TM & Katya React to Glow Up. Also loved Trixie doing Kombucha Girl’s makeup.

We’ve also become obsessed with Cooking tree, the gentlest, coziest YouTube channel. And Feel Good on Netflix is really great and def worth a watch.

NYC

Last week, Kiyana made a Google sheet of ~50 businesses in Brooklyn (mostly bars, restaurants, and coffee shops) that breaks down all the things relevant to supporting them during the pandemic: links to relief funds if they exist, if they are doing delivery or takeout right now (with lots of details about how to order), and if they are selling merch or gift cards. This stuff is changing really rapidly, but she’s trying to keep it fairly up to date. Also, if there’s a local spot you love/that you think should be on this list, feel free to email it to me and I’ll pass it along!

Whew, that was a long one! Thanks for reading, and have a good Sunday evening. 💛


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Just Good Bops: April

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

I’ve made a monthly playlist of what I’m currently listening to every single month, without fail, since March 2013. A couple of days ago, I went to add a song to my March 2020 playlist and realized there wasn’t one. And then I realized that it was April 3rd, so I’d missed the window to create one.

I know it’s a small, inconsequential thing, especially right now, but it made me feel incredibly sad. My playlists have served as a snapshot in time, something akin to a journal. I can travel back in time and experience anew how I was feeling based on what I was listening to. That won’t be the case for this period of time.

On the other hand, I suppose it’s fitting that March 2020 is just a big, gaping hole disrupting my seven year streak. It feels hard to maintain even the most ingrained habits right now, and I’m doing my best to be extra kind and patient with myself in this moment. Productivity is an unreasonable bar to set when you’re trying to understand the enormity of living through a pandemic and also missing your life prior to quarantine.

That’s all to say, 1) I recommend making monthly playlists if you’re not the journaling type, and 2) I took extra care crafting this month’s playlist for y’all and also made sure to get my personal monthly playlist up and going as well. It made feel something close to normal, which I was grateful for during this very not-normal time.

This playlist very well could have just been multiples of “People, I’ve been sad” by Christine and the Queens. It’s not, which feels like a personal victory, but I still recommend watching them perform it live for COLORS. Look at all that personal space! A social distancing queen. 🎧

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How to start and keep a journal during a pandemic (or any time of major upheaval)

journal.JPG

Since the coronavirus started spreading through the U.S., I’ve seen a lot of people telling others that now is a good time to start and keep a journal. Which… sure, yes, if you want to!

When I was working on Dot Journaling, I read a ton of academic writing about diaries throughout history, and one of the things I learned is that people are drawn to keeping diaries during times of major change. (Also, fun [???] fact: when I went to Bookshop to search for Dot Journaling earlier today, I noticed a section called “Perspective on Pandemics” on the home page, and the first book listed was the diary of my arch nemesis, Samuel Pepys.) Journaling is also a good coping mechanism and way to process feelings. And when things are changing super quickly, formerly solid concepts like “days of the week” seem utterly preposterous, and your brain feels overloaded and foggy, it’s safe to say that you’re probably not going to remember things as well as you might want to.  

That said, it’s hard to do much of anything right now, and journaling shouldn’t be another chore or source of stress during a highly stressful, chore-filled time. So with that in mind, I thought I’d share some low-key ideas for keeping a journal during a pandemic (or any bad time), if you’re so inclined.

Use whatever journal you have and will actually use.

Now is not the time to search for the perfect notebook; it’s the time to make do with what you have and will actually use—a notebook you bought but never used, a legal pad, a spiral notebook, Google Docs, an app, whatever. Make things as easy on yourself as possible right now. 

Simply save all of your to-do lists. 

A to-do list is usually a very good snapshot of what matters to you at a given time, and that’s definitely been true for me during our current situation. If you keep a separate work notebook and home notebook, it might not be a bad idea to combine them and just keep one (as so many of our work lives and home lives collapse into each other). And if you keep a single undated running task list, you might want to think about making new lists each day or week so you can add a date for context. 

Also think about adding things like Zoom calls with friends or nice things you’re planning to do at home to your to-do list; even if these don’t feel like tasks, they are still things you did and very much paint a picture of what your life is like right now. 

If a to-do list doesn’t seem like it “counts” as a journal/diary, consider that this is actually very much what diaries looked like until the late nineteenth century. It was only fairly recently that the more “I” centric, “here are all my thoughts and feelings” diaries became the predominant way we conceptualize diaries. Historical diaries actually looked a lot like dot journals, format-wise. (Also consider the fact that “diary” is the word Brits use for what most of us in the U.S. would call an agenda or planner.) 

Save all of your receipts in one place or write down your purchases. 

Your to-do lists cover how you’re spending your time; it’s also a good idea to note how you’re spending your money. You could either add purchases as they happen to your to-do list each day, or keep a running list for the month on a separate page. 

Keep a recipe diary.

I got this idea from my friend Emily, an NYT Cooking editor; she said she got it from Jenny Rosenstrach, who has been keeping a recipe journal for 20+ years. By the way, it’s not too late to do this — Emily’s starts on 3/12, but she told me she put it together a few days ago “based on photos in my camera roll basically.” (BTW, here’s how to search your camera roll by date.)

Just write down what a day in your life looks like right now. 

You can either do this in real time or do it later, writing out what an average day’s routine looks like right now. Make note of what time you’re getting up; what you do first, second, third, etc. each morning; and all the new chores that are a part of your daily life. You could also do this once a week or every few weeks to track how things are changing.

Remember that journaling doesn’t need to involve writing a lot of feelings in full sentences.

When I’m recapping my day in my journal, I use dashes to jot down quick notes instead of writing in full sentences. (I also keep the dash format if I want to do full sentences.) Doing it this way is way lower lift and basically removes the mental hurdle of “Ugh, I have to sit down and write.”  

If you just want to brain dump/cope, consider doing morning pages.

Here’s a guide I wrote about morning pages few years ago

If you want a lower-lift/less frequent option, you could email yourself or add to a Google Doc once a week. 

You could use a format similar to my weekly newsletter — what you read, cooked/ate, listened to, bought, watched, etc. And if you want to flesh out your email with more personal thoughts or notable moments from the week, you could do that too. 

Just put together one big March recap.

If you’re feeling like it’s too late to start keeping a journal, you could do one big entry for all of March. I actually did this the other night, using my Google calendar, planner/to-do lists, texts, and camera roll. I was able to date all the events that felt significant (for example, February 27 is the day my girlfriend listened to an episode of “The Daily” that really scared her and so we started sanitizing our hands a ton when we were out in public) and a put together a pretty accurate record of how we (and our friends, and our workplaces) were thinking about the coronavirus and changing our behavior day-to-day throughout March.   

Be a teeny tiny bit less vague than you might naturally be. 

As someone who has kept diaries for 20 years, I can tell you that you won’t remember important context as well as you might think you will in a couple decades, even for things that feel super significant as they are happening. This isn’t a huge thing to worry about, but if you’re journaling with Future You or Future Historians in mind, I recommend it. You don’t necessarily have to write “Today I read an article in the New York Times, a newspaper, which I accessed through the app (application) on my iPhone”... but you might want to do small things — like, say, add, “(neighbor)” or “(restaurant)” next to a person’s or business’s name.

Or don’t, if doing this is too much work and would stress you out!!! 

Remember that a journal or diary can look like anything.

Photos, texts, receipts, calendar invites, memes, tweets, articles, playlists, emails…these are all excellent records of what is happening in your life right now. You don’t have to start tagging stuff or make a huge effort to collect everything in a single place right now, but it’s not a bad idea to be a little more mindful of retention right now. Things that are dated and searchable, like your personal email or calendar, will be there in a few years, but think about what won’t be super easy to pull up later (like work emails or texts) and find a low-key way to save/find them. 

Know that nothing is too mundane or small to be recorded.

It’s easy to operate from the mindset that journaling is a Serious Endeavor, especially during a pandemic. I think that belief is mostly rooted in the parts of history — and the lives — that we’ve been taught to believe matter. 

But the things we do every day — the people we talk to, the things we eat and buy, the clothes we wear, the art and entertainment we consume, the traditions and rituals and routines and trends we create and take part in — aren’t background noise. They are, in large part, what life in a given culture at a specific time is. And no one can know, in the moment, what is going to be “interesting” in 10 or 20 or 30 years, or even what we’ll personally wish, a week from now, that we had recorded when we had the chance.

So if you think that the way you’re spending your days right now — FaceTiming, creating or acquiring masks, getting creative with beans, watching TikToks — doesn’t “count” or matter enough to be remembered, I would encourage you to let go of some of the biases that might be influencing your thinking. “Normal” people’s experiences are extremely relevant to our understanding of history. But also, you don’t have to keep a diary for big picture reasons. You can just…do it for yourself, because you feel like it.

I’ll leave you with something Charlotte Forten GrimkĂŠ, a black teacher and anti-slavery activist, wrote in her diary in May of 1854: 

“A wish to record the passing events of my life, which, even if quite unimportant to others, naturally possess a great interest to myself, and of which it will be pleasant to have some remembrance, has induced me to commence this journal. I feel that keeping a diary will be pleasant and profitable employment of my leisure hours, and will afford me much pleasure in after years, by recalling to my mind the memories of other days, thoughts of much-loved friends from whom I may be separated, with whom I now pass many happy hours, in taking delightful walks, and holding ‘sweet converse’; the interesting books that I read; and the different people, places and things that I am permitted to see.” âœ¨

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Just Good Shit: 03.29.20

Just Good Shit: 03.22.20

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Image: Kiyana Salkeld / Just Good Shit

Hi, friends. Here’s what I was up to this week…

Writing

I also edited What to Do if You're Drinking Way More During Self-Isolation and was on WNYC’s All of It talking about WFH with roommates.

Reading

The Saddening, The Outline.

Here’s How to Get Your Loved Ones to Take Social Distancing Seriously, SELF.
Copy and paste scripts to send, courtesy of my friend Sally.

How Do I Deal With My Pandemic Guilt?, ÂĄHola Papi!.

Americans Coping With the Coronavirus Are Clogging Toilets, The New York Times.
C’mon, guys.

What Obligation Do We Owe Our Shitty Fathers As They Age?, MEL Magazine.

Tips For Playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Lifehacker.

Eating

This week, I made broccoli farro salad (a good WFH lunch, especially with a little tuna added) and spaghetti carbonara. Also, this list of America's Test Kitchen recipes for our current moment is a good resource!

Things to do

My friend Alanna made a Google Doc with tips for anyone who wants to get into knitting right now.

My coworker Amy Rose recommends Season 3, Episode 3 of Documentary Now (on Netflix), and I concur. Also, watching old seasons of Drag Race is bringing me so much joy right now.

These free activity pages from Adam JK are cute.

And if you are thinking of making masks for healthcare workers or yourself, this is worth a read.

Have a good Sunday. ✨


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These Instagram Live dance workouts are really helping me keep it together right now

I’ve been feeling periodically despondent over the past week, and am making an effort to cultivate joy as much as possible. I’ve also been vaguely aware of the fact that a workout would probably be a good idea right about now. My girlfriend recently came across Instagram Live dance classes/parties hosted by choreographer Ryan Heffington; they turned out the exact quarantine activity I was looking for.

Heffington is the owner of the LA fitness studio The Sweat Spot, which is closed for the foreseeable future. (At the end of each session, he puts out a call for Venmo and PayPal donations for Sweat Spot instructors who are now out of jobs.) The classes are super exuberant and fun — basically just moving your body to a great playlist (think: Robyn, Carly Rae Jepsen, ABBA) for 40 minutes.

I’m not a fan of complicated dance workouts or super intense workouts, so I was relieved by how doable these classes are, both in terms of the steps and the pace. The warmup involves some downward dogs and planks that I thought were harder than the actual workout, but the main part of the class is very easy/fairly unstructured/really low pressure. The hardest choreography you’ll encounter is a grapevine, and everything is so loose and chill that it’s hard to feel stressed if you’re not doing it quite right. The whole vibe is very “do what you can with what you’ve got.”

The classes only exist on IG Live right now, so you have to tune it at the scheduled time to dance along. (The next one will be Tuesday at 10 a.m. PT.) It works best to follow along on your phone, but if you want to do it on your computer, this Chrome plugin is helpful.

If you’re in need of a free/at-home/easy-access way to move your body and feel a tiny bit better, I think it’s worth following Ryan’s account/getting in on the next class. The workout itself is really uplifting, and there’s something extra special about knowing that 2,000+ people are dancing along with you. ⚡️

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How to feed yourself when your appetite is non-existent

Image: Manki Kim via Unsplash

Image: Manki Kim via Unsplash

I’ve seen a few tweets in the past week that said something to the effect of, “Wow, I thought I was a stress eater but now I am simply no longer hungry????” and each time, I was like, WELCOME. This happened to me a few years ago and it was legitimately shocking — before that, I sort of thought that forgetting to eat or not having an appetite was an urban legend, at least as it applied to me personally. Turns out, it’s not!

If you, too, have suddenly found that food has lost its appeal, or that you are forgetting to eat whole meals, or that certain foods make your stomach turn, you’re definitely not the only one. Here are some tips that helped me, and that might help you, too:

  1. Set reminders to eat.
    Without a commute or coworkers — or when super distracted by the news or a personal trauma — it’s really easy for morning to bleed into afternoon and 4 p.m. to become 9 p.m. without my really realizing it, so I’ve been relying on phone alarms in the past couple weeks to help me maintain a routine. The biggest struggle is lunch, but I’m doing my best; a noon reminder is actually quite helpful.

  2. Try to eat or drink something at meal times.
    It’s very easy to look at what you’d been planning to make for dinner, realize you have zero desire to eat it, and sort of shrug and give up and shuffle back to bed. But it’s a good idea to not totally give up, and instead think about what you can eat or drink in that moment. Maybe it’s just a banana, or some Graham crackers, or a cup of milk; that’s fine. It’s literally better than nothing!

  3. Look for shelf-stable items and frozen stuff.
    The big problem I had after losing my appetite was that I’d buy groceries like normal…and then the fresh stuff would go bad because I had no interest in fruit or vegetables or even meat. Given that fresh foods aren’t terribly easy to come by right now, you might already be doing this. But if not, remember that frozen broccoli, fish, bread, waffles, potatoes, and burritos exist. It’s always good to have the option for a decent full meal available should your appetite change suddenly.

Here are some fairly gentle meals to consider:

  • Toast! Toast with butter and cinnamon sugar + cozy tea is my favorite.

  • English muffins with PB (this once sustained me for…a while)

  • Simple quesadillas (tortillas + shredded cheese + sour cream and salsa on top)

  • Frozen pierogis with a little butter and sour cream

  • Frozen dumplings

  • Baked potatoes with butter and sour cream (add Annie’s canned chili on top for something more filling)

  • Annie’s macaroni & cheese

  • Old-fashioned (or instant) oatmeal with peanut butter and blueberries (thawed from frozen)

  • Spanish rice + black beans or pinto beans

  • Lemon butter pasta

  • Chickpea pasta

  • Soylent (I like the original flavor, personally)

Finally, remember that when you’re Dealing With Some Shit, it’s OK to eat the same things over and over and not really change up your diet much. Obviously a balanced diet is ideal in the long run, but during a high-stress time, your definition of “healthy” is simply going to change. If you simply can’t stand the thought of eating kale or salmon right now, that’s…fine. Eat whatever feels nourishing-ish and gives you the energy to get through your day, and trust that your appetite will return again eventually. ✨

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