Just Good Shit: 08.04.19

On Friday, I turned in the first draft of my manuscript — three days early!!!! — which felt pretty good. Here’s what else I had going on…

On the blog

Reading

This week, I read Rosemary: The Hidden Kennedy Daughter, which Terri recommended to me ages ago. As far as works of non-fiction go, it’s very good (and is a surprisingly fast read) but it’s also incredibly upsetting and tragic. Still, I’d recommend it.

Also:

Marianne Williamson's Democratic debate performance raised eyebrows. But she's no friend of the left., NBC News.

'These kids are ticking time bombs': The threat of youth basketball and Under the knife: Exposing America's youth basketball crisis, ESPN.

To Cheat and Lie in L.A.: How the College-Admissions Scandal Ensnared the Richest Families in Southern California, Vanity Fair.
This was fascinating, infuriating, and illuminating.

The Mosquitoes Are Coming for Us, The New York Times.

"I Had a Miscarriage", A Cup of Jo.
I loved this essay.

Lana Wood, Natalie’s Little Sister, Has Plenty to Say, The New York Times.

Money Talks: one spouse had student loans, the other paid it all off, The Goods / Vox.

Jia Tolentino Can’t Help But Love Fancy Skincare, Into the Gloss.

We Can’t Risk Losing to Donald Trump By Believing In Anything, McSweeny’s.

“PLOT TWIST, the world's first gender-reveal party baby is a girl who wears suits!”

Best life

I’ve been living in these black bike shorts from Amazon ($32.99 for a pack of six, sizes S-3XL) this summer and I highly recommend them! (I have the size small.)

I went to Lemon’s on Friday night and really enjoyed it! It’s on the roof of the Wythe Hotel, and the drinks were great (as were the chips) and the overall vibe was so cozy. (BTW, if you want a great rooftop view of the NYC skyline, it’s probably worth it to reserve an outdoor table.)

If you love a good scam (who doesn’t???) and true crime, might I suggest American Greed? I recently rediscovered it on Hulu and was reminded why I liked it so much several years ago. It has everything you want from an hour-long true crime show, but none of the dead women.

And I don’t own this National Parks Polaroid camera, but I really wish I did!

Have a great Sunday! 🍒

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A cute little idea for your next birthday

This morning I was thinking about the fact that it’s now August, aka the month of my birth, and I remembered a cute idea my friend Julia gave me a couple of years ago.

She said she uses any birthday coupons she receives (like the Madewell birthday discount, etc.) to order goodies for herself online, but she doesn’t open the packages as she receives them — instead, she waits until her birthday proper. Then on her bday, she opens these packages along with any gifts she receives in the mail from her friends/family all at once. (I learned all of this when I visited her one February, and she told me that was the reason for the big pile of unopened packages in her foyer.) So cute, right? I already do this with Christmas gifts, but I really like the idea of doing it for birthdays (and waiting to open any bday cards as well).

Speaking of birthdays, here’s a cute old Terri post you might like: 17 Fun And Different Birthday Ideas If You're Really Not Into Parties.

Anyway, it’s August, I’m finally going to get my free Drunk Elephant gift at Sephora, and I’m going to wait and start using it on my birthday next week! 🎉

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Anomia is my new favorite group game

I played a new-to-me game called Anomia ($14.39 from Amazon) for the first time with friends last weekend and I liked it so much, I ordered it for myself before I’d even left the party!

Here’s the high-level explanation of how it works: players take turns drawing cards; the goal is to be the first person to blurt out a word that fits the category on any other card that has the same symbol as your card does. So if you are holding a card with a yellow diamond that says “U.S. president,” and someone draws a card with a yellow diamond that says “something with wings,” then you want to shout out something with wings before the person with the other card names a U.S. president.

Anomia is mostly about concentration and creativity, and I really enjoyed it! It’s very portable (important!!!) and park-friendly, a single game goes quickly, and it’s just fun. It’s much easier to learn than Codenames (though I do love Codenames); it’s more fun than Apples to Apples; and it’s way more wholesome/SFW than Cards Against Humanity. (That said, if you do enjoy CAH, you might like Anomia X, a sold-separately version of the game that has “bad manners.”)

Per the product page, it’s for 3-6 players, ages 10+ (but there’s a kids’ version for ages 5+), and it’s possible to play it if you’re colorblind (because the colors on the cards don’t matter — only the symbols do).

Overall, it’s just incredibly low-maintenance and fun, and I’ll definitely be packing it for my family vacation next month!

Buy it from Amazon for $14.39. (There is also a “party version” that has four additional decks aka more variety for $24.) ✨

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Just Good Shit: 07.28.19

It’s a light/late one this week! I didn’t have much time for Internet this week, and I spent the entire day today at Jacob Riis. (It was lovely!) Here’s what I’ve got for you…

Reading

I re-read Valley of the Dolls, as planned! And I’m currently reading The Island by Elin Hildebrand. I’m really enjoying reading so many books by a single author in a row like this…it sort of reminds me of reading The Baby-Sitters’ Club books when I was younger — like you see all the little quirks and consistencies across the books. (In Hildebrand’s case, there are a lot of Sancerres and Asiatic lilies, for starters.)

Also:

The Crane Wife, The Paris Review.
“There is nothing more humiliating to me than my own desires. Nothing that makes me hate myself more than being burdensome and less than self-sufficient. I did not want to feel like the kind of nagging woman who might exist in a sit-com.” This essay really is as good as everyone has been saying it is.

A woman's greatest enemy? A lack of time to herself, The Guardian.

“Is this guy constantly texting me after I told him not to because he ‘doesn’t understand’ boundaries or because he doesn’t care about them?”, Captain Awkward.

What Big Little Lies Got Wrong About Bonnie, The Atlantic.

Big Little Lies Is Drowning in Its Own Good Intentions About Race, Slate.

Why is everyone on Tinder so obsessed with tacos?, Vox.

Why Has Language Changed So Much So Fast? ‘Because Internet’, The New York Times.
Very excited to read this book.

Why I Always Spend 20 Minutes In The Bathroom When I Get Home, Apartment Therapy.
Terri!! 💛

Have a great Sunday! 🌊

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Just Good Shit: 07.21.19

This week went by so fast. Here’s what I was up to…

On the blog

Just good summer reading

Writing

The second installment of my SELF column is up! You can read it here: The Art of Saying No to Invites When You REALLY Don't Want to Do Something.

Reading

This week, I read The Rumor and Beautiful Day, both by Elin Hilderbrand. (I liked The Rumor a lot/better than Beautiful Day.)

Also:

It Was Never About Busing, The New York Times.

“No, black kids should not have to leave their neighborhoods to attend a quality school, or sit next to white students to get a quality education. But we cannot be naïve about how this country works. To this day, according to data collected from the Education Department, the whiter the school, the more resources it has. We cannot forget that so many school desegregation lawsuits started with attempts by black parents to simply get equal resources for black schools. Parents demanded integration only after they realized that in a country that does not value black children the same as white ones, black children will never get what white children get unless they sit where white children sit.”

If you read one thing this week, make it this Nikole Hannah-Jones article. (There is also an episode of The Daily about it.)

Confronting the Reality of Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein's Alleged Co-Abuser, Jezebel.

The Explicit Embrace of Racism Is Next, Splinter.
“It is easy to mock this all as hand-wringing over window dressing, given the fact that racism itself has been persisting just fine for all these years. But the public expectation that even racists would act as if they thought racism was bad had value: it was a sign that they thought that the weight of public opinion was on the other side.”

FaceApp Is Everyone’s Problem, The Atlantic.

I found your data. It’s for sale., Washington Post.

The Rise of the Spice Girls Generation, The New York Times.
This is delightful.

The Best Sex Ed I Ever Got Was From Queer YouTubers, Man Repeller.

Orange is the New Black Made TV—and Me—Gay, TIME.

Birthday Blues Bulletin Board: Advice + Open Thread, Captain Awkward.
I love so much about this post, especially this: “‘How did you grow up celebrating birthdays?’ and ‘If you could celebrate any way you want, what would you most like to do?’ are two questions that can get a discussion rolling.” And also this: “If you want a Big Deal made about your birthday, it’s almost certainly up to you to make it (or explicitly tell people close to you what a Big Deal looks like to you and that you’d specifically like one).”

Have a great Sunday! 🍉

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Just good summer reading

Close-up photo of the novel Valley of the Dolls being read on the beach

When I think about the best summer reading, I think of really entertaining books that you’ll enjoy enough to want to binge read (see also: this great NYT article). But I don’t think they have to be pure fluff! To me, a great summer read should feel less like eating a ton of candy, and more like eating a delicious meal made up of of assorted dips, juicy fruits, delicious crostini, a couple of amazing pasta salads, some great Trader Joe’s appetizers, and sparkling water. It’s satisfying and filling (even if/when it’s light), and consuming it brings real pleasure.

So with that in mind, here are some of my favorites!

Fiction

The Vacationers by Emma Straub

I haven’t read this book in a few years, but it’s one I think of as best in class when it comes to light summer reads. Reading it feels like watching a great Nancy Meyers movie; it’s entertaining and goes down smoothly and easily.

Buy it for $9.70+ from Amazon or find it at local bookstore on IndieBound.

Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann

Every summer, I get what can only be described as a craving to read Valley of the Dolls. The book is pure camp and I love it. It also has one of the best elements of a great summer novel: rich people and their rich people problems. I might actually start reading it again tonight because it’s been a few years!

Buy it for $7.99+ from Amazon or find it at local bookstore on IndieBound.

The Neapolitan novels by Elena Ferrante

When I think about these four books — My Brilliant Friend, The Story of a New Name, Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay, and The Story of the Lost Child — I just feel such genuine fondness and appreciation for them. (By the way, I actually didn’t really get into My Brilliant Friend until the last few chapters, but then I was all in.)

Buy My Brilliant Friend for $9.32+ from Amazon or find it at local bookstore on IndieBound.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Euginedes

The first time I finished Middlesex, I felt like I'd just read a memoir, not a work of fiction. It’s one of my all-time faves. Also, I had heard the audiobook was better than the book itself, which I found preposterous but…the audiobook is truly excellent.

Buy it for $9.99+ from Amazon or find it at local bookstore on IndieBound.

In the Country: Stories by Mia Alvar

This was one of my favorite books of 2015, and reminded me just how good short story collections can be. (Also, short story collections feel very summery to me and I don’t know why.)

Buy it from Amazon for $5.10+ or find it at a local bookstore on IndieBound.

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

Most of this book takes place in the summer and it has loads of “classic novel you read on summer break between junior and senior years” energy.

Buy it for $10.80+ from Amazon or find it at a local bookstore on IndieBound.

A Summer Affair by Elin Hilderbrand

I went back and forth on including this one because I think it’s fluffier than most of my other picks…but I also really enjoyed it (and The Rumor and Beautiful Day, two other Elin Hilderbrand novels I’ve finished this week) and I think Hilderband is so good at what she does that it’s worth your consideration!

Buy it for $7.99+ from Amazon or find it at a local bookstore on IndieBound.

Non-fiction

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

I’ve read almost all of David Sedaris’s books, but Me Talk Pretty One Day is probably my all-time favorite; I think it has the highest concentration of David Sedaris lines/anecdotes that I think about a lot. Also: the audiobook version (which David Sedaris narrates) is fantastic — so good for road trips.

Buy it for $10.38+ from Amazon or find it at local bookstore on IndieBound.

Destiny of the Republic: A Tale of Madness, Medicine and the Murder of a President by Candice Millard

It took more than one recommendation from Terri for me to finally read this book, but once I did, I had to admit: it’s amazing. Like, couldn’t put it down amazing; I’m happy to report I’m now a James Garfield stan.

Buy it for $12.99+ from Amazon or find it at local bookstore on IndieBound.

Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup by John Carreyou

By now, you’ve surely watched or listened to or read something about Elizabeth Holmes, but this book is the OG for a reason. It’s gripping (and way better than the podcasts or documentaries have been) and totally worth it.

Buy it for $12.13+ from Amazon or find it at local bookstore on IndieBound.

Liar, Temptress, Soldier, Spy: Four Women Undercover in the Civil War by Karen Abbott

This book reads like a novel and, despite being about the Civil War, is a bit lighter than you might expect (while still being very informative). If you’re the kind of person who’d prefer to spend their summer vacation taking trips to Gettysburg and the like, this one’s for you.

Buy it for $11.99+ from Amazon or find it at local bookstore on IndieBound. 📚

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Just Good Shit: 07.14.19

Hi hi hi! Here’s what I had going on this week…

On the blog

Reading

After reading this article about Elin Hilderbrand and seeing this related tweet (which I now wholeheartedly co-sign), I decided to read Hilderbrand’s novel A Summer Affair, and ended up really enjoying it! I don’t tend to love/read fiction that much, but this shit…slaps? It’s exactly what I want to be reading while working on my own book (i.e., it doesn’t make me think about work at all, and is light without being truly mindless). I read most of it in the park yesterday and I felt so chill afterward — like it just lit up some pleasure spot in my brain. What a treat!

Also:

Ariana Grande on Grief and Growing Up, Vogue.
“For a long time I didn’t want to talk to anyone about anything, because I didn’t want to think about anything. I kind of just wanted to bury myself in work and not focus on the real stuff, because I couldn’t believe it was real.” Ariana Grande’s music isn’t my fave, but I like her as a person, and this profile is very good/sad.

How to Do Less and Achieve More, The New York Times.

USA's formidable women's soccer team is no accident. It's a product of public policy, The Guardian.
“In 1972, when title IX was passed, there were only 700 girls playing soccer at the high-school level in the whole United States. By 1991, the year of the first Women’s World Cup, there were 121,722 high school girl players – a 17,000% increase. That number has more than doubled since: in 2018, there were 390,482 high school girl soccer players.” SEVEN! HUNDRED!!!

It's Time For Women's Soccer To Break Away From FIFA, HuffPost.

Megan Rapinoe Is a New Kind of American Sports Icon, ELLE.

Everyone wants to Instagram the world’s most beautiful canyon. Should they?, Vox.

What It’s Like to Be a Disabled Parent in an Inaccessible World, Rewire.

Dear Internet: The Little Mermaid Also Happens to Be Queer Allegory, LitHub.
“I understand how loneliness pools in someone deep as the sea, how you can hurt so much that you, too, wish to fade, like the turned pages of the waves.”

What It’s Like to Visit ‘Dr. M,’ New York’s Erotic Masseur for Women, The Cut.

How Wellness Influencers Made Indian Food a Trend, Healthyish.

The Best Way to Tour a City Is Through Its Grocery Store, NY Mag.

7 questions about hot girl summer you were too embarrassed to ask, Vox.

Have a great Sunday! ☀️

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Some questions to consider before having a tough conversation

I recently read a 2016 HBR article about when to skip difficult conversations, and it included a checklist of 11 questions to ask yourself that I thought were really smart/helpful. Here are a few of my favorites from the list:

What is my “secret agenda” or “hidden hope” for this conversation? (Long-term harmony? Revenge? That they will change?)
What’s my contribution to the situation?
Do I tend to look for problems with this person or about this issue?
How long ago did it arise? Is it a repeat or recurring problem? Could it become one?
How committed am I to being “right”?
What reasonable, actionable solution can I offer?
Is this the right person to talk to about this issue?

It’s so easy to come up with excuses to justify skipping a tough conversation (“it doesn’t really matter, they won’t change anyway”)…or to make something your problem when it’s actually not just because you’re horny for conflict and justice. These questions are a good way to step outside some of those feelings and get a clearer sense of the best way to proceed.

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Rosé + Spindrift is my go-to drink for summer 2019

Image of bottle of rosé and can of Spindrift on red wooden table on sunny rooftop with patio furniture and string lights

Last month, I came across this tweet from Maris Kreizman: “I don’t know who needs to hear this but Raspberry Lime Spindrift mixed with rosé is the ideal summer spritzer.”

Reader, it is good. I don’t actually love Spindrift, rosé, or lime flavoring alone, but the combination just works. I’ve brought it to a few parties and it’s been a hit every time! Highly recommend. ✨

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Just Good Shit: 07.07.19

This week, I was still really sick with an upper respiratory tract infection. I actually spent several days with no voice. I’ve never lost my voice before, and I found the experience pretty surreal and unpleasant. But I wrote 21,226 words in my manuscript this week (an all-time high for me!) and I’ve finally stopped coughing violently, so I’m feeling pretty OK at the moment!

Here’s what else I had going on…

On the blog

Reading

Perversion of Justice, the Miami Herald’s three-part story on Jeffrey Epstein.

Politics Is Changing; Why Aren’t the Pundits Who Cover It?, The Cut.

He Cyberstalked Teen Girls for Years—Then They Fought Back, Wired.

The Obvious Value of Communication is Perhaps Not So Obvious, Cal Newport.
“When I encounter a typical knowledge economy office, with its hive mind buzz of constant unstructured conversation, I don’t see a super-connected, fast-moving and agile organization — I instead see a poorly designed distributed system.”

Get To Know The 2019 U.S. Women’s National Team, FiveThirtyEight.

Convicted of assault and accused of rape, star player received raft of second chances, Seattle Times.
Watching the World Cup today made me think of Hope Solo, which then led me to re-read this 2008 Seattle Times longread about her husband, Jerramy Stevens. It is…a lot.

The Problematic Past and Enduring Appeal of Dr. Seuss, MEL Magazine.

How to Make the Most of Summer Without Feeling the *Pressure*, Man Repeller.

So Your Friends Had a Kid. Here's How to Hang Out With Them Even If They Eat Dinner at 5 p.m., Bon Appétit.

A Genius Packing Tip for Your Honeymoon, A Cup of Jo.
This is a pretty old post, but I really love the red item tip! (Also, it’s not just for honeymoons.)

So the President F*cking Hates My Girlfriend, The Players Tribune.
Ahhh, this whole thing is a goddamn delight.

Extremely into

@DiscoCubes on Instagram.

Live-action references (which is a thing I’d never heard of, but makes perfect sense once you see it) for Disney movies! Check out Hercules and The Little Mermaid.

The fact that a human uterus is so much smaller than I thought?!?!? (Note: that picture is of a human organ so it’s a bit gory!)

I Love Hue, a gentle, dreamy phone game that looks like “San Junipero” and “Nosedive” had a baby, and that a blog reader recommended to me! If you’ve ever thought “What if Tiles got hot???” this is the game for you.

Buying

A denim jacket! I never bother with the J. Crew sale rack, but the other day, I was moved to…and then came upon this jacket — in a color that I, for no real reason, always think of as “I’m baby purple” — that happened to be an extra 50% off the sale price. (So, $45.) I’ve never been a jean jacket person, but I really like this! (Note: it runs a bit big; I bought an XS.)

Have a great Sunday! ⚽️

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On the blog

Reading

Best life

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Reading

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On the blog

Writing

Reading

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Fiction

The Vacationers by Emma Straub

Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann

The Neapolitan novels by Elena Ferrante

Middlesex by Jeffrey Euginedes

In the Country: Stories by Mia Alvar

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

A Summer Affair by Elin Hilderbrand

Non-fiction

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

Destiny of the Republic: A Tale of Madness, Medicine and the Murder of a President by Candice Millard

Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup by John Carreyou

Liar, Temptress, Soldier, Spy: Four Women Undercover in the Civil War by Karen Abbott

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On the blog

Reading

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On the blog

Reading

Extremely into

Buying

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