Just Good Shit: 05.31.20

Hi. I’m tired and sad and angry. Just…tapped out. Here’s what I have for you this week.

Writing

From the archives: The best writing on race, white supremacy, and anti-Black racism in America and Here's How To Raise Race-Conscious Children (I edited this one).

My shit, elsewhere

I talked to Alison Stewart about showing up for friends right now on WNYC’s All Of It on Tuesday. And I was interviewed by Bitch magazine; you can read it here: There Is an Art to Showing up—and Rachel Wilkerson Miller Has Mastered It.

Reading

This Is What You Get, Jezebel.

Millions of Amy Coopers, The Cut.

First Came The Pandemic, Then Came the Raw Sewage, The Marshall Project.

Fearing for his life, The Verge.

How Many Black People Can You Mourn In One Week?, BuzzFeed.

How to respond to “riots never solve anything!”, So Let’s Talk About.

Save the Tears: White Woman's Guide, Tatiana Mac.

Your Black Colleagues May Look Like They’re Okay — Chances Are They’re Not, Refinery29.

Maintaining Professionalism In The Age of Black Death Is….A Lot, Shenequa Golding on Medium.

And a thread of bail funds across the country.

Watching

This excellent video from Danielle Henderson, and this one by Danielle Prescod, both of which I feel like summed up what I’m thinking and experiencing. Also: this joyful hometown parade for Friday night’s Drag Race winner. And Centerpiece on Quibi — the exact kind of Black exuberance and beauty that I needed this morning.

Have a good night.

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🖤

Just Good Shit: 05.24.20

Today’s New York Times lists the names of 1,000 people who have died from COVID-19 in the United States — a small fraction of the 100,000 known deaths in the U.S. as of now. I don’t know how anyone can look at these people’s names and the tiny snippets of their lives — “founded a food pantry” “known as ‘the fashionista’ in her nursing home” “thought it was important to know a person’s life story” “Broadway costume designer” “worked mostly factory jobs to support his family” “an exuberant laugh” — and think that the threats of coronavirus are exaggerated, or believe that the country is ready to “reopen,” or say that these 100,000+ lives didn’t matter. Of course they mattered. They were people. They they had families and friends and nicknames and talents and inside jokes and memories and now they are gone.

It’s all so sad, so shameful, and I feel so angry reading this less than hour after watching a group of four semi-masked people get out of a car and walk, giggling, up to a neighbor’s door while carrying three bulging Whole Foods bags, a large bowl covered in plastic wrap, and a big box labeled “Angus beef patties” that took two hands to carry. It’s utterly astonishing to me that so many people have died — and are still dying!!! — and so many of other people simply….decided the rules must be different now, because they are just…tired of living like this??? Like, we’re all tired of living like this. The answer is still no.

Here’s what else I had going on this week…

Writing

'A Friend Sent Me a Long List of All the Ways I Suck—What Do I Do?'

My shit, elsewhere

I had a really nice conversation with Shereen Marisol Meraji for NPR’s Life Kit, which aired in two parts this week: An Illustrated Guide To Showing Up For Yourself and What To Say When A Friend Is Struggling. I also participated in a Reddit AMA with some other recent Life Kit guests.

And I’m really excited that Girls’ Night In selected The Art of Showing Up as their June book club read! I’ll be doing a virtual event with GNI and Politics & Prose on June 19; you can RSVP here.

Reading

How to Have a Safer Pandemic Memorial Day, The New York Times.
I’m sharing this not because I think you should gather for Memorial Day (or…for any other reason right now), but because I think it’s helpful to see how high the burden of lowering the risk when gathering is.

‘I Really Need to Go Home’: The Cruise Ship Employees Still Stuck at Sea, VICE.

11 Tips for Getting the Most Out of Therapy Right Now, SELF.

Stewed Awakening, Eater.

Cooking Your Way Through the Pandemic, The Atlantic.

The best $19.98 I ever spent: A seatbelt extender, The Goods / Vox.

Lana Del Rey Could Have Left This One in the Drafts, Jezebel.

I'm running out of patience when we need patience the most, Ask a Manager.

How to Have a Fun Conversation Again, The New York Times.
Loved this.

Cooking

My windowsill scallions grew very tall very quickly! Thrilling. I used them to make a half portion of this scallion butter, which we put on top of the cornbread we had with taco soup. Now I’m currently midway through the process of making this homemade pizza, which is coming along nicely. And I can’t remember if I shared the NYT Cooking Cheesy White Bean-Tomato Bake when I first made it, but it’s great — low-fuss and delicious, a great lunch recipe for lovers of chickpea pasta.

Have a good Sunday night. 💛

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Just Good Shit: 05.17.20

A lot happened this week! The Art of Showing Up came out on Tuesday, and I celebrated with a teeny tiny “book party” (slices of Milkbar cake that my girlfriend had delivered as a surprise + a bottle of champagne that my former BuzzFeed team/now friends sent). It was a lovely, special day — a little bit of joy in this otherwise weird and dark time.

On Friday, VICE did a big round of layoffs without warning. I wasn’t laid off, but a lot of my extremely talented colleagues were, and it sucked. It was just a really sad day all around, and even though I was lucky, I don’t feel good about any of it, you know?

On a brighter note, thank you to everyone who pre-ordered Showing Up, and to those who posted about it on social media or told friends about it! I am so grateful and flattered, and seeing my book in other people’s hands/homes will never get old for me.

Here’s what else I had going on this week…

My shit, elsewhere

Alison at Ask a Manager ran an excerpt from Showing Up about venting responsibly, and my episode of the Food Heaven podcast aired this week! (We recorded it a while ago.)

Reading

The Un-Heroic Reality of Being an ‘Essential’ Restaurant Worker, Eater.

Inside the Book Industry's Battle to Stay Afloat During the COVID-19 Crisis, Esquire.

Adele Isn’t Discussing Her Weight So Why Are We?, SELF.

Janny's Delivery Service, VICE.

Regrow Scallions in a Cup of Water, Lifehacker.

Currently doing this……feeling like a botanist witch genius.

All Hail the Squirtarita, Quarantine’s Perfect Cocktail, Eater.

This Unhinged Story About Friends in Quarantine Is Just Such a Treat, Cosmo.
I laughed out loud a lot at this pitch-perfect Hey, Ladies! reunion.

Watching & listening to

We’ve been watching The Last Dance on ESPN and really enjoying it. Also very into the Jessica Simpson episodes of You’re Wrong About.

Have a good Sunday night! ☀️

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Just Good Shit: 05.10.20

Hi, folks! Here’s what’s new around here…

Writing

How to Say No to a 'Socially Distant' Wedding or Other Major Life Ritual

Reading

‘I apologize to God for feeling this way.’, The Washington Post.
This is excellent — a must-read.

3 Hospital Workers Gave Out Masks. Weeks Later, They All Were Dead., The New York Times.

Yes, You Should Wear a Mask When You Run. (Yup, Including You), SELF.

With Her New Shop, the Racist Backlash to Marie Kondo Continues, VICE.
Older, but worth it if you haven’t read it yet.

How This Matching Sweatsuit Became The Unofficial Uniform Of Quarantine, Refinery29.
I have heard bad things about how Entireworld sweatsuits look IRL, but I am very here for a monochromatic sweatsuit.

The best $42 I ever spent: A single ball of yarn, The Goods / Vox.

P.S. The Art of Showing Up will officially be out on Tuesday!

Have a good Sunday night! 💐

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Just Good Shit: 05.03.20

Hi! Here’s what I had going on this week…

Writing

What to Do If This Pandemic Is Making You Hate Literally Everyone

And I edited the always wonderful Captain Awkward on How to Get Through Isolation With Your Family When They Are a Bit Much.

Reading

Seattle’s Leaders Let Scientists Take the Lead. New York’s Did Not, New Yorker.

Friends Are Breaking Up Over Social Distancing, The Atlantic.

Nannies Tell the Truth About Working During the Coronavirus, The Cut.

Two Errors Our Minds Make When Trying to Grasp the Pandemic, The Atlantic.

The Clean Queen Talks Quarantine, The New York Times.
Got a nice shoutout in this article about Home Comforts!

Eve Ewing on the deal with Bookshop.

Negroni Season, The Awl.

My Husband Won’t Pick Up His Toenail Clippings, so I Put Them in His Coffee, Slate.

Cooking

We’ve been roasting potatoes, using a combination of this NYT Cooking recipe and this one from Smitten Kitchen; they are great with eggs, bacon, and veggies, or with roasted vegetables and Aidells sausages. I’m also loving pickled onions on everything (see also: Sauce Theory).

Have a good Sunday night. 🌱

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Just Good Shit: 04.26.20

Hello again! Here’s what I was up to this week…

On the blog

Writing

Reading

I’m currently reading Legendary Children: The First Decade of Rupaul's Drag Race and the Last Century of Queer Life.

Also:

The Real Reason to Wear a Mask, The Atlantic.

Please Stop Writing 'Why I Left New York' Pandemic Essays, HuffPost.

You’re Not Going Back to Normal Office Life for a Long, Long Time, VICE.

Don't Let Them Come Back From This, Seth Simons.
A good read on the shutdown of Upright Citizens Brigade.

#1265: Lockdown Co-Parenting: Can I Please Get Some Alone Time?, Captain Awkward.

How to cook a simple, flavorful pot of beans and use it throughout the week, Washington Post.

Tracy Clayton’s Twitter thread of good advice from therapists.

Psst by Helen Tseng.
This is a very cool PDF you can download/print/fill out as a way of journaling (or just making shit) right now.

Stay Sane, Stay Safe.
Cool PSAs from artists around the world that you can download or just browse.

A Beginner’s Guide to Bravo.
God bless Terri for making this for me!!!

Watching

This week, I watched Circus of Books on Netflix, which I highly, highly recommend; it’s about a nice Jewish couple who opened a hardcore gay sex shop in the 70s and ran it for 30 years. Every single minute of it is entertaining. I’ve also been watching Mrs. America and Unorthodox, plus the first episode of We’re Here on HBO. And on Saturday night, I built a blanket fort for my girlfriend, where we watched Moonrise Kingdom (because a twee movie felt appropriate from that vantage point). I highly recommend the combo of a very cozy nook and a movie where the visuals make your brain light up.

Have a good Sunday night! 🌙

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Just Good Shit: 04.19.20

Hi, friends! Here’s what I had going on this week…

On the blog

Duvet o'clock

Writing

The Answer to All of Your Social Distancing Loophole Questions Is No

Also, the one and only Captain Awkward gave that post a great “Yes and” over on her blog that’s also worth your time!

Reading

A Failure, But Not Of Prediction, Slate Star Codex.

After Social Distancing, a Strange Purgatory Awaits, The Atlantic.

Our Pandemic Summer, The Atlantic.

Why millions of college students and young adults won’t get a stimulus check, Vox.

Sorry, We Did Not All Get and Recover From COVID-19 This Winter, Lifehacker.

30 Non-Boring Things to Do With a Crush or Partner While Stuck at Home, VICE.
LOVED this list. (And you could do a lot of these things with anyone.)

Leftover AIDS Memorial Quilt Fabric Is Being Sewn Into Face Masks, them.

Love to Hate Women, Kate Harding.

How Readers Around the World Mapped Life Under Lockdown, CityLab.

Sitting on the Couch Is My New Favorite Hobby, The Cut.

Eating

On Friday — inspired by the “30 Non-Boring Things to Do With a Crush or Partner” list I linked to above — my girlfriend got a ton of Saraghina baked goods delivered as a surprise/treat for me. And I got a ton of ground beef delivered as a surprise/treat for her, so we were able to make taco soup. It fucking rocked.

Have a good Sunday night! 🥖

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Just Good Shit: 04.12.20

Hi! Here’s what I was up to this week…

Writing

Reading

I’ve read the plans to reopen the economy. They’re scary., Vox.

Why an Idaho Ski Destination Has One of the Highest COVID-19 Infection Rates in the Nation, The New Yorker.

How Salon Shutdowns Are Disrupting Black Women's Haircare, Jezebel.
This article perfectly sums up my current situation/feelings; I felt really seen reading it.

Applying for Unemployment Is My New Full-Time Job, The Cut.

Your employer can take your temperature, and other changes, Ask a Manager.

The Most-Watched Show in America Is a Moral Failure, The Atlantic.

How to Deal With Feeling Bad About Your Body During Isolation, VICE.

The Choreography of Limitations, The Cut.

Animal Crossing’s fashion is unrivaled, Polygon.

Here’s Exactly How to Send a Very Good Voice Memo, Man Repeller.

Forget Productivity: Let ‘Wuliao’ Be Your Quarantine Philosophy, Refinery29.

Cooking

I loved this bucatini with butter-Roasted tomato sauce! And I had avocado toast and white bean stew in heavy rotation.

Have a good Sunday night! 🐰

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Just Good Shit: 04.05.20

Hi, all. Here’s what I was up to this week when I wasn’t FaceTiming with friends, playing Animal Crossing, or eating (incredibly delicious!!!) PB&Js on white Wonder Bread…

On the blog

Writing

What to Do When Everyone Needs Support but You're Only One Person

Also, VICE Life launched How to Stay In, to make it a little easier to find all of the coronavirus-related service journalism that teams across editorial have been putting out for the past month.

And I was on this week’s episode of Gee Thanks, Just Bought It.

Reading

This Is Not the Apocalypse You Were Looking For, Wired.
This essay is really good; I loved the last few lines.

#1260: “How to maintain boundaries within stressful family relationships during COVID-19 lockdown?”, Captain Awkward.

What to Do if You're Isolated With an Abuser During the Coronavirus Crisis, Teen Vogue.

Please Stop Telling People They’re Overreacting, SELF.

13 Essential Workers Describe What Their Lives Are Like Right Now, VICE.

Is That Nostalgia You’re Feeling?, The Atlantic.

Self-Quarantine Is No Time for an Instagram-Ready Kitchen, The New York Times.

You’re single. You live alone. Are you allowed to have a coronavirus buddy?, Vox.

You Don’t Have to Be on a Diet Right Now, Eater.

Being Single Really, Really Sucks Right Now, ¡Hola Papi!.

No One Should Worry About Working Out Right Now, VICE.

The Healing Power of ‘Steven Universe’, The New York Times.

“Love Letter” (a short story by George Saunders), The New Yorker.

The devastating detail hiding in the French grammar of Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Vox.

Paul McCallion’s Drag Race recaps on Vulture.

Maris Kreizman’s list of good books that don’t require your whole brain.

17 Canned Tuna Recipes for a Winner-Winner Pantry Dinner, Food52.

How Long Can You Wear Sweatpants Without Washing Them?, Bustle.

“Oh My God, I Miss Meeting Someone I Hate”, Delirium.

Watching

My gf and I have been watching any and every permutation of Trixie Mattel and Katya’s show. Some highlights: Drag Queens Trixie Mattel and Katya React to The Circle; TM & Katya React to Sex, Explained; and TM & Katya React to Glow Up. Also loved Trixie doing Kombucha Girl’s makeup.

We’ve also become obsessed with Cooking tree, the gentlest, coziest YouTube channel. And Feel Good on Netflix is really great and def worth a watch.

NYC

Last week, Kiyana made a Google sheet of ~50 businesses in Brooklyn (mostly bars, restaurants, and coffee shops) that breaks down all the things relevant to supporting them during the pandemic: links to relief funds if they exist, if they are doing delivery or takeout right now (with lots of details about how to order), and if they are selling merch or gift cards. This stuff is changing really rapidly, but she’s trying to keep it fairly up to date. Also, if there’s a local spot you love/that you think should be on this list, feel free to email it to me and I’ll pass it along!

Whew, that was a long one! Thanks for reading, and have a good Sunday evening. 💛

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