Just Good Shit: 08.11.19

I’ve never really been a birthday person because pretty much everyone takes a vacation during the first week of August (seriously, it’s been this way my entire life), and also I just…don’t care that much! I usually just go to work on my birthday and, like, order my favorite takeout for dinner.

But I’m now dating a Birthday Person™, so this year, I had my first bona fide birthday week. It included breakfast at Miriam (my favorite), a manicure and pedicure at Paintbucket, a trip to Greenlight and Target, dinner at Allswell, McLeod Farms peaches with pals, an Instax camera and Catbird necklace, Good Genes (a gift from my mom that so far absolutely lives up to the hype), and birthday drinks with friends at The Springs. It was truly lovely and also I’m exhausted.

My goals/hopes/dreams for my upcoming year are learning to use lay and lie properly in all writing and conversation, and visiting a national park!

Here’s what else I had going on this week…

On the blog

Reading

I, like every other self-respecting Brooklyn millennial, am currently reading Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino.

Also:

The Media Erased Latinos From the Story, The Atlantic.

A mother died shielding her infant in El Paso. The father died shielding them both, family says., Washington Post.

The End of Straight, GQ.
Make sure you read this one all the way to the end.

I Gained 20 Pounds Before My Wedding and It Was Still Perfect, Glamour.

How to Plan a Wedding. (Or, You Could Just Elope.), The New York Times.
Our girl Terri made her NYT debut!!!

My In-Laws Are Careless About My Deadly Food Allergy!, Ask Polly.

Why are there so many new books about time-travelling lesbians?, The Guardian.

Bad summer, Grief Bacon.

Everything We Learned About Women’s Anatomy from Male Authors, Electric Lit.

Great tweets

“Potatoes in literally any form”

“The full scene with sound is just the greatest scene I’ve ever watched.”

“If you don’t like it…MOVE”

“to all the girlfriends”

Have a great Sunday! 🦁

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Just Good Shit: 08.04.19

On Friday, I turned in the first draft of my manuscript — three days early!!!! — which felt pretty good. Here’s what else I had going on…

On the blog

Reading

This week, I read Rosemary: The Hidden Kennedy Daughter, which Terri recommended to me ages ago. As far as works of non-fiction go, it’s very good (and is a surprisingly fast read) but it’s also incredibly upsetting and tragic. Still, I’d recommend it.

Also:

Marianne Williamson's Democratic debate performance raised eyebrows. But she's no friend of the left., NBC News.

'These kids are ticking time bombs': The threat of youth basketball and Under the knife: Exposing America's youth basketball crisis, ESPN.

To Cheat and Lie in L.A.: How the College-Admissions Scandal Ensnared the Richest Families in Southern California, Vanity Fair.
This was fascinating, infuriating, and illuminating.

The Mosquitoes Are Coming for Us, The New York Times.

"I Had a Miscarriage", A Cup of Jo.
I loved this essay.

Lana Wood, Natalie’s Little Sister, Has Plenty to Say, The New York Times.

Money Talks: one spouse had student loans, the other paid it all off, The Goods / Vox.

Jia Tolentino Can’t Help But Love Fancy Skincare, Into the Gloss.

We Can’t Risk Losing to Donald Trump By Believing In Anything, McSweeny’s.

“PLOT TWIST, the world's first gender-reveal party baby is a girl who wears suits!”

Best life

I’ve been living in these black bike shorts from Amazon ($32.99 for a pack of six, sizes S-3XL) this summer and I highly recommend them! (I have the size small.)

I went to Lemon’s on Friday night and really enjoyed it! It’s on the roof of the Wythe Hotel, and the drinks were great (as were the chips) and the overall vibe was so cozy. (BTW, if you want a great rooftop view of the NYC skyline, it’s probably worth it to reserve an outdoor table.)

If you love a good scam (who doesn’t???) and true crime, might I suggest American Greed? I recently rediscovered it on Hulu and was reminded why I liked it so much several years ago. It has everything you want from an hour-long true crime show, but none of the dead women.

And I don’t own this National Parks Polaroid camera, but I really wish I did!

Have a great Sunday! 🍒

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Just Good Shit: 07.28.19

It’s a light/late one this week! I didn’t have much time for Internet this week, and I spent the entire day today at Jacob Riis. (It was lovely!) Here’s what I’ve got for you…

Reading

I re-read Valley of the Dolls, as planned! And I’m currently reading The Island by Elin Hildebrand. I’m really enjoying reading so many books by a single author in a row like this…it sort of reminds me of reading The Baby-Sitters’ Club books when I was younger — like you see all the little quirks and consistencies across the books. (In Hildebrand’s case, there are a lot of Sancerres and Asiatic lilies, for starters.)

Also:

The Crane Wife, The Paris Review.
“There is nothing more humiliating to me than my own desires. Nothing that makes me hate myself more than being burdensome and less than self-sufficient. I did not want to feel like the kind of nagging woman who might exist in a sit-com.” This essay really is as good as everyone has been saying it is.

A woman's greatest enemy? A lack of time to herself, The Guardian.

“Is this guy constantly texting me after I told him not to because he ‘doesn’t understand’ boundaries or because he doesn’t care about them?”, Captain Awkward.

What Big Little Lies Got Wrong About Bonnie, The Atlantic.

Big Little Lies Is Drowning in Its Own Good Intentions About Race, Slate.

Why is everyone on Tinder so obsessed with tacos?, Vox.

Why Has Language Changed So Much So Fast? ‘Because Internet’, The New York Times.
Very excited to read this book.

Why I Always Spend 20 Minutes In The Bathroom When I Get Home, Apartment Therapy.
Terri!! 💛

Have a great Sunday! 🌊

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Just Good Shit: 07.21.19

This week went by so fast. Here’s what I was up to…

On the blog

Just good summer reading

Writing

The second installment of my SELF column is up! You can read it here: The Art of Saying No to Invites When You REALLY Don't Want to Do Something.

Reading

This week, I read The Rumor and Beautiful Day, both by Elin Hilderbrand. (I liked The Rumor a lot/better than Beautiful Day.)

Also:

It Was Never About Busing, The New York Times.

“No, black kids should not have to leave their neighborhoods to attend a quality school, or sit next to white students to get a quality education. But we cannot be naïve about how this country works. To this day, according to data collected from the Education Department, the whiter the school, the more resources it has. We cannot forget that so many school desegregation lawsuits started with attempts by black parents to simply get equal resources for black schools. Parents demanded integration only after they realized that in a country that does not value black children the same as white ones, black children will never get what white children get unless they sit where white children sit.”

If you read one thing this week, make it this Nikole Hannah-Jones article. (There is also an episode of The Daily about it.)

Confronting the Reality of Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein's Alleged Co-Abuser, Jezebel.

The Explicit Embrace of Racism Is Next, Splinter.
“It is easy to mock this all as hand-wringing over window dressing, given the fact that racism itself has been persisting just fine for all these years. But the public expectation that even racists would act as if they thought racism was bad had value: it was a sign that they thought that the weight of public opinion was on the other side.”

FaceApp Is Everyone’s Problem, The Atlantic.

I found your data. It’s for sale., Washington Post.

The Rise of the Spice Girls Generation, The New York Times.
This is delightful.

The Best Sex Ed I Ever Got Was From Queer YouTubers, Man Repeller.

Orange is the New Black Made TV—and Me—Gay, TIME.

Birthday Blues Bulletin Board: Advice + Open Thread, Captain Awkward.
I love so much about this post, especially this: “‘How did you grow up celebrating birthdays?’ and ‘If you could celebrate any way you want, what would you most like to do?’ are two questions that can get a discussion rolling.” And also this: “If you want a Big Deal made about your birthday, it’s almost certainly up to you to make it (or explicitly tell people close to you what a Big Deal looks like to you and that you’d specifically like one).”

Have a great Sunday! 🍉

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Just Good Shit: 07.14.19

Hi hi hi! Here’s what I had going on this week…

On the blog

Reading

After reading this article about Elin Hilderbrand and seeing this related tweet (which I now wholeheartedly co-sign), I decided to read Hilderbrand’s novel A Summer Affair, and ended up really enjoying it! I don’t tend to love/read fiction that much, but this shit…slaps? It’s exactly what I want to be reading while working on my own book (i.e., it doesn’t make me think about work at all, and is light without being truly mindless). I read most of it in the park yesterday and I felt so chill afterward — like it just lit up some pleasure spot in my brain. What a treat!

Also:

Ariana Grande on Grief and Growing Up, Vogue.
“For a long time I didn’t want to talk to anyone about anything, because I didn’t want to think about anything. I kind of just wanted to bury myself in work and not focus on the real stuff, because I couldn’t believe it was real.” Ariana Grande’s music isn’t my fave, but I like her as a person, and this profile is very good/sad.

How to Do Less and Achieve More, The New York Times.

USA's formidable women's soccer team is no accident. It's a product of public policy, The Guardian.
“In 1972, when title IX was passed, there were only 700 girls playing soccer at the high-school level in the whole United States. By 1991, the year of the first Women’s World Cup, there were 121,722 high school girl players – a 17,000% increase. That number has more than doubled since: in 2018, there were 390,482 high school girl soccer players.” SEVEN! HUNDRED!!!

It's Time For Women's Soccer To Break Away From FIFA, HuffPost.

Megan Rapinoe Is a New Kind of American Sports Icon, ELLE.

Everyone wants to Instagram the world’s most beautiful canyon. Should they?, Vox.

What It’s Like to Be a Disabled Parent in an Inaccessible World, Rewire.

Dear Internet: The Little Mermaid Also Happens to Be Queer Allegory, LitHub.
“I understand how loneliness pools in someone deep as the sea, how you can hurt so much that you, too, wish to fade, like the turned pages of the waves.”

What It’s Like to Visit ‘Dr. M,’ New York’s Erotic Masseur for Women, The Cut.

How Wellness Influencers Made Indian Food a Trend, Healthyish.

The Best Way to Tour a City Is Through Its Grocery Store, NY Mag.

7 questions about hot girl summer you were too embarrassed to ask, Vox.

Have a great Sunday! ☀️

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Just Good Shit: 07.07.19

This week, I was still really sick with an upper respiratory tract infection. I actually spent several days with no voice. I’ve never lost my voice before, and I found the experience pretty surreal and unpleasant. But I wrote 21,226 words in my manuscript this week (an all-time high for me!) and I’ve finally stopped coughing violently, so I’m feeling pretty OK at the moment!

Here’s what else I had going on…

On the blog

Reading

Perversion of Justice, the Miami Herald’s three-part story on Jeffrey Epstein.

Politics Is Changing; Why Aren’t the Pundits Who Cover It?, The Cut.

He Cyberstalked Teen Girls for Years—Then They Fought Back, Wired.

The Obvious Value of Communication is Perhaps Not So Obvious, Cal Newport.
“When I encounter a typical knowledge economy office, with its hive mind buzz of constant unstructured conversation, I don’t see a super-connected, fast-moving and agile organization — I instead see a poorly designed distributed system.”

Get To Know The 2019 U.S. Women’s National Team, FiveThirtyEight.

Convicted of assault and accused of rape, star player received raft of second chances, Seattle Times.
Watching the World Cup today made me think of Hope Solo, which then led me to re-read this 2008 Seattle Times longread about her husband, Jerramy Stevens. It is…a lot.

The Problematic Past and Enduring Appeal of Dr. Seuss, MEL Magazine.

How to Make the Most of Summer Without Feeling the *Pressure*, Man Repeller.

So Your Friends Had a Kid. Here's How to Hang Out With Them Even If They Eat Dinner at 5 p.m., Bon Appétit.

A Genius Packing Tip for Your Honeymoon, A Cup of Jo.
This is a pretty old post, but I really love the red item tip! (Also, it’s not just for honeymoons.)

So the President F*cking Hates My Girlfriend, The Players Tribune.
Ahhh, this whole thing is a goddamn delight.

Extremely into

@DiscoCubes on Instagram.

Live-action references (which is a thing I’d never heard of, but makes perfect sense once you see it) for Disney movies! Check out Hercules and The Little Mermaid.

The fact that a human uterus is so much smaller than I thought?!?!? (Note: that picture is of a human organ so it’s a bit gory!)

I Love Hue, a gentle, dreamy phone game that looks like “San Junipero” and “Nosedive” had a baby, and that a blog reader recommended to me! If you’ve ever thought “What if Tiles got hot???” this is the game for you.

Buying

A denim jacket! I never bother with the J. Crew sale rack, but the other day, I was moved to…and then came upon this jacket — in a color that I, for no real reason, always think of as “I’m baby purple” — that happened to be an extra 50% off the sale price. (So, $45.) I’ve never been a jean jacket person, but I really like this! (Note: it runs a bit big; I bought an XS.)

Have a great Sunday! ⚽️

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Just Good Shit: 06.30.19

Good evening and happy Pride! This post is limping across the finish line because I have been so sick with a terrible summer cough for the past week/all weekend. (I’ve also completely lost my voice, which is pretty homophobic, given that it’s World Pride.)

Here’s what else I’ve got for you this week…

On the blog

Showing Up

I'm currently seeking stories for my book about times people REALLY showed up for a friend! If someone showed up for you in a particularly thoughtful/remarkable/creative way (big or small!) and you'd like to tell me about it, you can fill out this form.

Annnnd (OR!) if you have more general tips for supporting a friend in a difficult situation that you've personally experienced and you'd like to share those tips with me, this other form is for you!

Reading

The Unimaginable Reality of American Concentration Camps, The New Yorker.

Bodies in Seats, The Verge.

The Wild Ride at Babe.Net, The Cut.

The Most Fabulous Old Folks Home, The New York Times.

Happy Pride From AT&T and the $1.8 Million It Gave to Anti-LGBTQ+ and Republican Candidates, Jezebel.

Megan Rapinoe isn’t here to make you comfortable, The Washington Post.

How E-Commerce Sites Manipulate You Into Buying Things You May Not Want, The New York Times.

Co–Star Rising, Vanity Fair.

Mr. Rogers Had a Simple Set of Rules for Talking to Children, The Atlantic.

How a Brand Name Becomes Generic, The New York Times.
I love this as a trivia topic and I learned several new ones from this article!

‘Not Great, Bob!’: The Making of Mad Men’s Greatest Meme, Vulture.

"Their Handsome Father, Ned Wakefield", Shatner Chatner.
For the Sweet Valley fans.

Which U.S. Presidents Were Wife Guys? An Investigation, The Cut.

P.S. Reading list: Pride edition

Have a great Sunday! 🏳️‍🌈

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Just Good Shit: 06.23.19

Hi! This week, I was busy working on my manuscript and prepping for the Pride party my gf and I hosted last night. Here’s what else I had going on…

On the blog

Two tips to keep in mind if you want to be a better conversationalist

Elsewhere

I’m writing a new column for SELF Magazine called A Little Better, and my first one went live this week: Not Great, Bob! The Case for Actually Being Honest When People Ask How You Are.

And I recently chatted with Brittany Luse of The Nod podcast; you can listen to the episode here: How to Show Up.

Reading

The Youngest Child Separated From His Family at the Border Was 4 Months Old, The New York Times.

Taylor Swift's 'You Need to Calm Down' Video Is Strangely Both Gay and Sexless, Esquire.
“The song and the video are a vague call for tolerance, conflating gayness with glitter and gowns, woven into a meditation on how Taylor Swift gets no respect, worded in such a way that if you—as the person whose culture is being co-opted for it—has a criticism, it is because you are being obsessive and hysterical. That’s quite a racket she’s got going there.”

No Shade, But There’s a Wrong Way to Make a Gay Anthem, Esquire.

Being Transgender at Goldman Sachs, The New York Times.

How I lost my legs and gained... you want me to say something inspiring here, The Outline.

Elin Hilderbrand Doesn’t Mind That You Call Her Books ‘Beach Reads’, The Cut.

The Case for Boring Office Clothes, The Atlantic.

Why so many beers have retro-looking cans, Vox.

I’m the boss who’s always late, Ask a Manager.

King Princess: Free to Be, them.

The Chicago Harp That Rules the World, Chicago Magazine.

The American Dreamsicle, Topic.
“In the mid-’20s, the Popsicle Corporation and Harry B. Burt, the inventor of the Good Humor bar, went to court over patents and eventually settled on an uneasy truce, wherein Good Humor bars would keep their square shape and ice-cream base, while Popsicles would have exclusive rights to the method that produced their more tubular form and would freeze only syrup, water, or sherbet on a stick.”

How “soccer girl” became the indisputably coolest look, Vox.

I loved this!

Watching

Rachel, the jaw-droppingly awkward 10-minute film (based on a true story!!!!!) from John Early and Kate Berlant which I want everyone to watch. (Once you watch, read this interview about it.) Also: Seth Meyers and Rihanna day drinking and Troop Beverly Hills (for the first time ever).

Have a great Sunday! 🍦

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Just Good Shit: 06.16.19

Hello! Here’s what I was up to this week…

On the blog

Reading

The Invisible Victims, Marie Claire.

You saw me covered in blood on a bus. But do you get outraged about all homophobia?, The Guardian.

The Pink, n+1.
“The situation of the vagina in feminist politics today is, even by optimistic standards, hairy.”

Dear Therapist: It’s Hard to Accept Being Single, The Atlantic.

They Gave America 13 Goals—And Got a Lecture in Return, The Atlantic.

Track Star Gabriele Grunewald Couldn’t Win This Race, The New York Times.
“She died on Tuesday at 32 and left a husband, Justin Grunewald, for whom she was everything.”

This Book About Apologies Changed My Life, The Cut.
I bought/read the book after reading this post, and I thought it was great.

The $500m smiley face business, The Hustle.

Booksmart flips the script on the typical teen comedy. Same goes for its costumes., Vox.

The Real Dog Moms of New York City, The New York Times.
I want a movie inspired by this immediately.

Keanu Reeves Keeps His Hands to Himself, Kottke.
Manner hands!!!

Great tweets

“My dad died. Classic start to a funny story. He was buried in a small village in Sussex. I was really close to my dad so I visited his grave a lot. I still do. [DON’T WORRY, IT GETS FUNNIER.]”
I gasped at the end of this!

“The story of a modern London cafe...”

“this artist remembered that there are boy-chickens and girl-chickens but let their guard down with the lions i fear”

“I can’t believe this but #Lover leaked.”

“Just a quick sniff”

“Welcome to physical therapy.”

Fun stuff

The Times has a new puzzle game: Tiles. It took me a little while to understand how to clear the board/actually complete a game, but now that I’ve figured it out, I’m hooked!

Shopping

I am currently obsessed with Freedom Moses knockoff Birks ($45), which come in basically every color, and every color is made in men, women, and children’s sizes. I bought the Lagoon because the Tropicool was/is sold out, but I love the Capri and Baby options, and the Fuji and Parma are very pretty IRL. (Also, they were three pairs for $99 when I bought mine and it looks like that is still the case.)

NYC

If you enjoyed the recent “nuns and nones” NYT article, you might be interested in the fact that Mariandale in Ossining is hosting a daylong version, which sounds lovely. I won’t be able to make it, but I’ve had nothing but great experiences at Mariandale.

In other news, I took the Rockaway Ferry line from Wall Street to the beach this weekend and it was great — highly recommend it as a way of traveling to Rockaway Beach/Ft. Tilden/Jacob Riis.

Have a great Sunday! 🌊

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Just Good Shit: 06.09.19

Hello! Here’s what I’ve got for you this week…

On the blog

Reading

Brendan Fraser’s #MeToo Story Is Why More Male Victims Don’t Speak Out, MEL Magazine.

Gay couple beaten for refusing to kiss on London bus, BBC.
This is so upsetting, and something I worry about…not infrequently. It also reminded me of this (much lighter!) Sara Benincasa essay.

The Catastrophist, or: On coming out as trans at 37, Vox.
“My name is Emily VanDerWerff. I fought hard for that name, as hard as I’ve ever fought for anything in my life. Now that I have it, I’m so scared of losing it, so I’m telling you in hopes you will bear it forward and carry it in your heart.”

Why People Hide Their Disabilities at Work, HBR.

I’m A Feminist Killjoy—And My Husband Loves it, A Practical Wedding.

Teens Taking AP Exams Are Battling for Their Right to Meme, MEL Magazine.

Too Many People Want to Travel, The Atlantic.

How to be a library archive tourist, Tiny Subversions.
This is so cute! I loved visiting special collections at MSU!

Four Steps to the Perfect Smoky Eye, Strange Horizons.
I spotted this short story in a Captain Awkward post this week and thought it was great. (Note: it deals with domestic violence/violence against women.)

How could The Overstory be considered a book of the year?, The Guardian.
I finished The Overstory this week (finally!) and this review perfectly sums up how I felt about it. I loved the idea of it, but I just couldn’t ever really connect with the characters. I wanted this concept, but in the hands of a different author (like Min Jin Lee). That said, a lot of people loved it, so what do I know???

Laura Everett and Abbi Holt: United by Love and Religion, The New York Times.

How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To, HBR.

The rise of granny panties, Vox / The Goods.

Unconventional Life Hack: Always Say Yes to a Glass of Water, Man Repeller.

Actually, Phone Calls Are Good, The Cut.

How to Draw a Horse, The New Yorker.

Great tweets

“Some are born a peacock, some have to work a little harder to achieve their peacockness.”

“Happy Pride to my favorite exchange in SVU history.”

“Grandpa’s comin.”

Shopping

On Saturday, I spotted these extremely fratty sherbet-colored Polo pants in the men’s department at Urban Outfitters and my entire body lit up? I tried them on and it was obvious — I could not let them get away. Happy Father’s Day to me!

NYC

I had drinks/dinner at The Springs in Greenpoint on Friday night and it was delightful. The backyard is huge and so well-manicured, and the Aperol spritz slushy was SO good (better than a regular Aperol spritz). And it didn’t hurt that the sunset on Friday night was truly magical.

Have a great Sunday!🍹

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